E338: Do THIS and you will CHANGE your LIFE FOREVER | Trauma Healing Coach

You know, there's really something to be said about listening to yourself, about doing what you know that you need to do.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well. I apologize for the audio quality today. I am having a rest day after a very, very crazy busy few days. And so, I'm recording from my laptop because I'm not in the studio, but as you know, we're doing 365 podcasts this year, and so, 360 podcasts it is. Now often I do record podcasts much in advance, so you'll notice that for the vast majority of time, the quality is not like this. So, I appreciate you listening anyway and trust me, you're going to want to hear this episode. I promise you because the one thing I'm always thinking about when we are doing podcasts, when we're having conversations, when we're coming together, as the Unbroken Nation is about creating as much value as humanly possible for you guys to give you the tools that I've leveraged in my life that have helped me get to the place that I am in. And to give you the tools that I'm learning in real time, that's going to help me get to where I want to go.

And as you may have seen on my social recently, I got UNBROKEN tattooed on my knuckle, what you can see right here. If you're watching on the YouTube channel. Thank you. If you're not subscribed to YouTube, please check out Think Unbroken on our YouTube channel cuz as we go forward, I'm gonna be teaching more visually on this show, one of the big things we're gonna work on. So, I got Unbroken tattooed on my knuckles. And the reason that I did that is because I recognize that if you do this one thing that I'm about to tell you everything in your life will be different. Everything. And when I say everything, your relationships, your friendships, your body, your mental, emotional, physical health, your career, your money, your wealth, like literally everything in your life becomes different when you do what I'm about to tell you to do.

But most of the time, people won't listen and it's heartbreaking, it's devastating because it's like, the information, the thing that you need is right here. And trust me. I know it fucking sounds crazy, but this one thing is literally the singular thing that shifted my life forever. And so, if you're in this place in your life and you're like, man, you know, I want more, I want to feel happier, I want to feel more content, I want to feel more proud of myself, I want a better relationship, I want more money, I want to heal. Right? I want to be able to be authentically myself, I want to show up in the world in a way that makes me feel proud, I want to build confidence like the list goes on and on all the things you have to understand the truth, that if you sit in it, and this is what the thing is, the thing that you have to do, if you do what I'm about to tell you, everything in your life will be different. I swear to you, like I'm not even bullshitting. This is so important because this has been the thing that I've discovered to be true. This is the same thing that all of my coaching clients, that I've coached over the years, tens of thousands of people who've done the programs and the apps and read the books like, you know, it's crazy to me when I get an email or a text or a DM from someone. And they're like, hey, my life is different. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, let's go. Let's go like, that's what this is about. Like you don't have to always be the best. You don't always have to be number one. Like if you're like me and you're competitive, like yeah, there's a competitive aspect to everything, but you know, the most important thing that you can do is just be at peace.

And if you can do this, if you can let go, everything in your life will change forever and letting go is difficult, it feels insurmountable at times, letting go feels impossible because it's like, you know, we wanna harbor these angers and these feelings and these emotions and the pain and the suffering and fuck sometimes the guilt and the shame that comes along with it.

And we sit in it and we ruminate in it. And then next thing you know, it's like engulfing our fucking lives. And sometimes you just have to let go. You have to just say, you know what? It is, what it is. Do the work around it, heal, grow, change, give yourself spacing leniency, but ultimately the truth is that in letting go everything in your life becomes different.

People ask me all the time. Like, literally every time I'm on a podcast, they're like, oh man, how could your mom cut your finger off? How could you have dealt with being homeless as a kid, all the abuse, all the violence, all the pain and suffering and hurt. How can you function in the world? How can you show up authentically as yourself? How can you even be in this position where you are such a different person? It's cuz I decided to let go. I decided to fucking stop holding on and white knuckling life in this way that was destroying everything around me, cuz like the more that I held on, the more that it just started to implode like literally implode, it was like the roof was falling down on top of me every single day.

And the more I let go, the more that it was easy to just walk through the room as it fell. And letting go, isn't about like taking it easy on yourself. Right? You know, and there's a concept and I've talked about it before, whether you're taking care of yourself or you're taking it easy on yourself. And those are two very, very different worlds, but letting go instead of just is sitting in it and being present in this moment, like, that's the challenge, that's such can you be present? Can you be here right now? Not yesterday, not 15 years ago, not 20 years ago and certainly not tomorrow and not a week from now, not 10 years from now. Now of course you need to go through the journey and heal the past and put yourself in a position to be successful – therapy, coaching books, podcasts, the whole nine, like step into it. Step into the physical journey. Push your body. Learn how to heal. Give yourself self-love. Give yourself care. Don't negotiate with yourself. Go hard. Go forward. Do all those things every single day. Right? Learn how to meditate. Learn how to journal. We talk about this all the time. This is not new. It's the execution of it for many of us that is new. And then, and once you can do that, what happens is, and especially, especially through meditation, you can sit in the present moment, just exist as you are, and letting go of all of the past things that have led to this moment. It's not that you hide them or stuff them down or pretend they're not there, cuz that doesn't fuck work and you know that. But instead, what you do is you just sit in it and you acknowledge it and you say, yes, those things have led me to where I am today but those things do not make me who I am.

And for the future we get so caught up in the future. Right? We're like, oh my God. I want all the things now, why can't I just be healed? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I be a millionaire? Why can't I have yet? Well, there's a lot of reasons why you can't have it yet, but as long as you have created goals that you are moving towards that every single day, take you a little bit closer, you know, it's one of the adages that Tom Bilyeu taught me that I sit with that profoundly impacted and change my life in a way that I can't even describe, you know, only do and say those things that move you towards your goals.

And then, so if you don't know your goals, you need to get super clear on that. I've done a goals workshop. If you go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com or the YouTube channel, you can watch the goals workshop. And in fact, I'm probably gonna do another one soon, cuz that one's I think like a year and a half old. But we did that live and it was a webinar and there were a ton of people on watching it and we'll be doing more of those kind of activities and things. And so, you know, we, people will get trapped in the future as much as they get trapped in the past and that's dangerous also because future thinking creates a massive, here's how I think about it.

And this is just my experience. Future thinking creates a massive amount of anxiety. Massive. This has been my experience when I'm like trapped in it. And it's not that you should be not be thinking about the future cuz you should, and you should be moving towards that. But when you get trapped in that future, thinking in this way, that has not beneficial to you because you have become stagnant or you've become frozen because of the things that you're trying to create in your life. Well, nine times outta 10, you just get stuck. Right? And so, it's about having those goals and moving towards it, but not letting the goal be the determining factor in the way that you feel about yourself.

And so future thinking causes anxiety.

And this is my life, past thinking or rumination for me, causes depression. Right? Sadness. And you should have, like, you should mourn, I've mourned my childhood many times, many, many times I've mourned the losses of the murders of my best friends. I've mourned, you know, the fact that my brothers and I, we did not get along together as children and my sister, like I've mourned that stuff, I've mourned the loss of my grandmother, I've mourned the loss of my mother, even though she was a drug addict and an alcoholic and hyper abusive, you know, I'm mourn that I'm mourn not having a father. Like I let those things go through the mourn process, through crying and through healing.

But if I get trapped in that shit, oh my God, fuck. Like, you know that place where you're just like, you're just in it and everything sucks. And you're massively depress, that to me is because I'm trapped in that past. Right? Maybe it's because, you know, I ate some shitty food, maybe it's because I didn't work out, maybe it's, you know, uh, I had a drink the night before. I never know. Right. You never know what it is. And so, having a lot of clarity and listening to yourself is everything right? And so, you know, be cautious about how you exist in the past during the present, cuz that's dangerous and that was dangerous for me and that's where I caught myself.

And then the other thing is like looking at right now, the present, this being the most important thing, like letting go of the past, letting go of the future and just simply existing right now in this moment and being like, this is where I'm at. This is who I am. This is how I exist. This is my story, my journey, my mission, my everything. This is how I feel today. This is like me.  People ask me all the time. They're like, who are you? I'm like, I'm me. I don't align with all the other things. Do I do other things? Yes, of course. I write books. I coach, I author, I guess that's writing books, you know, I have these conversations with you guys here on the podcast. I go live on television and I talk on things and I speak on big stages. And, you know, I used to do standup comedy and I used to ride bicycles all the time and all blah, blah, blah. All those things are things I've done, but those things are not me.

I am me as I choose to be right now in this present moment. And that's about embodying the truth about who you are today, who are you today? You're you, because you choose to be you through the actions you take, through the thoughts that you have, through the choices and decisions that you bring into your life.

Everything about your life and who you are, is present today. And I'm telling you, like, fuck, I wish I could tell you how important it is to let go. Just let go. It's fine. It's fine. You do not have to be subjugated to your own mind, but you've gotta do the work around it. And you have to learn and you have to understand the science and the research and listen to these shows.

Listen to some of these fucking guests who have been on this podcast. I'm telling you they will change your life forever. I mean, this show, we have been so fortunate to have some of the greatest minds on planet earth, teach us, like, go watch the video that Dr. Caroline Leaf and I did together on the YouTube channel, where she breaks down and shows us the structure of literally kind of everything, we're talking about here in regard to trauma in the brain like I learned so much in that episode, I've had to listen to it three times and I'm still learning from that episode. And so, you know, take advantage of this information because learning and knowledge is power period just is, it just is.

And so, my help for you, my friends as you continue down this journey, and as you step into what's next in your life, you put yourself in a position of empowering yourself to let go because it'll fucking change everything forever, this, I promise know that's where unbroken came from. Like in the essence of it, if I really boiled it down, it was me being like, fuck every time I'm holding onto all of this pain, all this suffering, all this hurt, all this damage, all this discomfort and shame and guilt, I am feeling broken. Every day, I'm just holding onto it. I feel like I don't matter. I feel like the world doesn't love me. I feel like unimportant, you know, there were times where early on, I would just sit and be so fucking miserable and mad at the world. Then I realized maybe I don't have to be. And hope you'll realize that too.

Thank you so much for listening Unbroken Nation.

Please go and leave a review again, sorry about the audio quality today. I'm not in the studio, I'm just simply at home being present, cuz it's what my body needs today, but of course we hold our commitments. We always follow through. And that's how we continue to be unbroken.

So, that said my friends do a favor, leave a review, check us out on YouTube. Please subscribe. We're trying to get to a thousand subscribers. It'd mean the world to me. If you'd pop over there, just Think Unbroken on YouTube, all the social channels, all the things, you know what it is. Thank you, my friends, for being here.

And Until Next Time.

Be Unbroken.

I'll see ya.