E77 The Power of Community in healing trauma | CPTSD Podcast

Hey, what's up on broken Nation, Michael Unbroken here — author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma, and you are listening to the Michael Unbroken podcast. As usual, before I get started, I just want to take a moment and say thank you so much for listening or watching if you're over on YouTube; I appreciate you so much.

As this Podcast grows as we have more listens, more downloads, more views more reviews on what you know; how thankful and grateful I am for you for showing up and being a part of this community. I'm going to ask you again. Please leave a review, comment, like, and subscribe. Just pause this right now, and do that for me because this mission of healing childhood trauma and ending generational trauma is about so much more than me.

And what I want is to think about this, a lot what I want is to end this, but I recognize that I can't do it alone, the impact of change required needs all of us and these, every single person, so if you're listening or watching know that I thank you tremendously. I do appreciate you. But please do me a favor and leave a review. Please share it, comment, like because these algorithms how they work they want to know who's listening and watching, and the Podcast is well over 35,000, almost 40,000 listens now, which is amazing. I'm super grateful for that, but I need your help to get to 400,000 and then to 4 million and so forth. Because the truth about this, I do this; the reason I started the podcast, to begin with, was so that we could have a conversation about what I consider to be the elephant in the room of mental health care. Not only in America but in society because we have all these people in the world suffering right now because of their past.

I read a review earlier today that said the Michael and broken podcast is an integral part of their healing journey, which is so meaningful to me. I'm so thankful and gracious for that and honored and humbled because, to be honest with you guys know, this of share those for, I did not sign up for this job. I did not sit down one day and say, you know what would be great. I'm gonna talk about, get my ass kicked when I was a little kid, right? That was never part of it, but I feel not only drawn but unbelievably compelled and inspired to have these conversations because, to tell you the truth, I don't know what else to do.

You know, I think every single day, as human beings, we have the ability to share our stories and speak Our Truth into reality. And the more that we do that, the more impact that we can make and many of, you know, that I've been writing books, I wrote a couple of books, I've spoken on a whole bunch of stages, I got the Podcast, the whole 9, but maybe I've never done an excellent job of being clear about why I do this. I do this for my brothers and my sister and for my brothers and my sisters. And what I mean by that is This isn't about me, because, to be honest with you, the longer that I do this, the more that I think about the fact that think I'm broken is actually so much bigger than Michael and there maybe - step away from this.

Now, that day is nowhere close, I'll assure you. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. And the reason I may stay a step away from this is because it's going to be more than I can handle as one human being in a man. I do have a team, and there are people who work for Think Unbroken, and it's amazing that I've been able to do that through coaching, through small group coaching, and the heal trauma coach course, and the whole 9. But one of these days, I'm going to walk away, or I'm going to die. I share this with you all the time on a long enough timeline. I'm going to die. That's the reality. I wish it weren't the truth; I'd love to live forever because then I could really make a gigantic impact, but I can still do that here today now with you. And I was thinking about the impact of our words and why they matter so much. Why the things and you've heard me talk about "mindset plus action equals self-actualization." But I got some clarity this weekend, and I want to simplify that because somebody messaged me, and they said, I don't understand what that means.

I'll put it like this, "what you think becomes what you speak, and what you speak becomes your actions and your actions become your reality." And this applies across the board to everything. This is why I say we are the stories that we tell ourselves, and so if you're telling yourself one story or the other, then eventually, on a long enough timeline, that story will, in fact, become your reality.

And so this weekend, I'm in Dallas, Texas. I'm having a conversation with Anna, honestly, probably the most amazing group of people I've ever been in connection with about the reason why we do what we do, sitting at this table and having dinner, we're talking about why we dare step onstage, why we dare share of these stories, why we dare move into the reality that you know when we do this that there may be judgments. Still, there may be people who look at us and say, you're crazy that we often might have to go at but alone. The reason that we do it is that our mission is bigger than us, and that's why it's Think Unbroken the brand, the overarching company; everything funnels through that first. I'm a passenger; I'm a catalyst, and this, and, and my Journey through healing my own traumas, very much about understanding that Mindset is everything. You've heard me say that before, but there are layers to this, and as one man, and as this company grows these layers, will they will grow, they will change, there will be more, this is why I released the heal trauma coach app because I want to be there to be able to help be the Catalyst for your healing. And when I created that program, I recognized what I was missing when I was going through my healing Journey: connection, community, and commitment.

And when I identified those things early on, I went, and I sought them, and I built them out; “connection is about the relationship that we have not only with each other but with ourselves like, can we connect, can we get an alignment, can we be within the presence and the sphere and scope of those around us who want us to succeed, to be successful, to heal, to grow to change, to love.” And if you can, then connections are beautifully powerful. And the abundant tool that can take you into places of expansion that you can't even understand.

I'm experiencing this in my wife right now, and that connection comes from being around like-minded people who are driven with purpose with conviction with clarity, trust, hope, and honesty. And all the things that I think make me as great as people and finding that connection and bond again and again, and again reiterate, the fact that I have felt and do feel that I'm on the right pace in my life, by moving towards growing, Think Unbroken and talking about childhood trauma and overcoming it because there are so many fucking people who have been impacted by this, who are terrified of a voice. And so, for a brief moment, if I can be in connection with people who helped me be able to be that voice, then I want to honor that, and I want to support that and vice versa. And then there's, you know, there's Community and Community is so much deeper than connection because Community is about, you know, a Brotherhood and a Sisterhood and Community is about being so deeply connected to each other's Journey that you're willing to sacrifice for the people around you.

And as many of you know, I've been an entrepreneur and business owner and board director, and vice president of multiple companies. And the whole 9 for a very long time, and what was always missing in those Journeys, was that really tight-knit Community aspect in energy where you're like, I just need and want and crave to be a part of this thing that is bigger than me. And when I created the coaching program, this six-weekend depth course, I added a layer of Community to it because it is what I also needed in my trauma healing Journey.

That's why I did men's group therapy. That's why did other group modalities. That's why I went and did these courses and workshops and why did conferences and and and these one-day intensives and the whole nine, right? Because I wanted a seeking community at a deeper level, it was one of the most profound parts of my healing journey. Without Community, what is the opposite? You're alone, and you're by yourself. I've said it before, No one great has ever done anything on their own alone because you can't, you have to have support, you can't do all the things, and we sit.

Community to be just very blunt with you. Community starts when you understand that the only way you overcome is by first asking for assistance. And that's a tough pill for people to swallow. That's a very fucking hard pill for me to swallow at the beginning of this because it was growing up of the, you will figure it out, you're better off on your own people will judge your mentality, but now a decade removed from the beginning of this Journey and heading into the latter part of my 30s, like, I think about this often communities everything. If you don't have a Community, I'm going to break it to you right now. You're not going to be successful in life, and you may be thinking, well, I don't have Community. 

How do I find Community?

“You have to go and seek it. You have to go and create it. You have to go and build it. You have to go and put yourself in the rooms and around the people. You have to put yourself in a position to be closed. You have to do all of those things because without it about those things, you will not have it, and no one's going to hand it to you.” 

You're not gonna get magic into Community Connection, and you're not going to bring Disney into commitment.

And so, the last C of this is "Commitment." You have to be dogged, for lack of a better term, focused and simultaneously driven into creating change in your life. While understanding as well and additionally that you are the only one who will create that change and committing isn't only about this idea of showing up, but it's about seeing it through going through hell like it's like Churchill cells, right? If You're going through hell, keep going, and I view this trauma, healing Journey as like that's going. It's going through hell. It's stepping through the darkest caverns and holes and depth not only the human psyche but the emotional state that we've been brought up on to look at and go. Maybe this isn't where I want to be, and the further and deeper that you go down into the rabbit hole of understanding and defining who you are. The difference that you understand, the amount of commitment required to move through a navigate it because, without commitment, you won't see it through to the other side, right? People always, you know, I've referenced before this, before people start these journeys of diet, fitness health lifestyle and they don't see it through even, even though have a why they'll be like this is my why, but they don't have the commitment that it takes to do it because it's arduous at times. And I'll argue healing traumas, the hardest thing you'll ever do. Why? Because at the backside of all the effort, there's still always one more step.

There's always one more thing to do. There's always one more conversation, have one more action to take, one more conversation to be involved in, and I don't; I've said this before, I don't think it ends. I don't think the trauma healing Journey ends; that's why I have coaches and why I have a therapist and why I read the books and why I go to the conferences and why I still do all these things, all these years later. Investing all of my effort, time money, energy, and self into it not only so I can be a better servant leader, which is what I've certainly considered myself to be but also so that I can look in the mirror and be okay with the reflection on the other side knowing that I go all-in and again, I make mistakes, I fuck up all the time. It's the nature of being a human being, it's the nature of life, but you have to understand one thing unequivocally, the only way you move through and create the life that you want to have, is what I always say "Change only happens when you make change happen unless you must create action and the hardest actions involved the most stringent amount of commitment because it's going to take time."

You know, I was on a stage Friday night, probably arguably the biggest stage I've ever spoken on, and that stage was full of these amazing and beautiful speakers who I got to stick back in the green room with and witness. Like to be honest, witnessing realizing their truth the whole idea this concept about what you think becomes what you speak, what you speak, becomes your action or action becomes your reality of watched it play out ten times at night.

Now I was one of the ten, and at the moment like I'm kind of in The Matrix to be honest with you, because I'm so 0 to in and I won second place, and as you know, I don't think there is any loser that night. So there, you know, and I'm super competitive. Everyone who knows me knows. I'm fucking competitive, like, you don't want to play me at Monopoly like it's going to be awful for everybody involved. Mainly the people that I'm playing against because I am that committed, I'm that committed to winning and being on that stage and sharing that moment this beautiful moment I recognized like wow this is what life is capable of being because maybe knowing me for the first time in this episode or you may have known me for three years, but you didn't know me when I was in the struggle, you didn't know me in the midst of going and being and rooms of where two people would show up to my workshop, where six people would show up where nobody would show up, right?

And then it kind of grows and grows and grows and grows and grows because that's what happens when you stay committed, but, you know, I'm winning second place on Friday night at the speak off was an investment of a decade of my life, and it's not about the winning or losing again, I don't think in this scenario in that, that hits home really hard for me because I gathered and garnered this incredible community in the course of this weekend, but it was more so, about knowing in my heart that I was showing up as Michael authentically, unequivocally, unquestionably and undeniably. Because if you're not willing to be that person for yourself, you can't be that person for other people, and I said this before, I don't want to be the spokesperson for child abuse, but I do believe that it is my moral obligation.

And the only way to step into my full authenticity is to honor that, and through honoring that, I self-actualize and become this person that I know I'm capable of being, and that's despite the fear I had an amazing conversation. So about fear with multiple people this weekend, and fear is this thing that's always going to be in your fucking way until you take action. You're scared, terrified of the other side that's because you don't know what's gonna happen.

But I can tell you this; I can tell you this if you have "Community, Connection and commitment, fear is only a four-letter word. And we make meaning we add meaning to everything that happens in our lives, and I had an amazing conversation with someone who reminded me of that."

What I think at the end of the day, what you have to understand about the journey that you're on is your only alone if you choose to be; it doesn't mean anyone's going to hand you the roadmap. There are always going to be tools. There's always going to be something there for you to take and carry with you. That's why I created healtraumacoach.com because I want to be there to support you and give you Community, Connection, and commitment, and I'm willing to do that from my side, but you have to be willing to do it from your side. And that's the difference between success and failure.  Not only in life but in the Healing Journey, you have to make up your mind. What are you willing to do to get unstuck?  What are you willing to do to be the hero of your own story? What are you willing to do to think unbroken? And I remind myself of these questions daily because that's the only way I can show up in the world.

So I'm going to share something else with you. I'm going to put the speech that I did was only three minutes, but it was one of the most powerful three minutes of my life on my YouTube. So there's a Michael Unbroken YouTube channel https://youtu.be/1RL4G7meAqQ just search Michael Unbroken.

And I would be grateful if you could watch it because I did this for us. I didn't do this for myself. I did this for my brothers and my sister, and my brothers and my sisters. And I appreciate you, my friend. And thank you so much for being here. I'm looking forward to our future together. I'm looking forward to all the workshops on putting together, all the virtual events on putting together.

Have a challenge I'm about to announce here very soon. Very, very shortly and soon, I have so many things in the works, and without you, I wouldn't be here because of you that I am. And I'm honored that you would listen to this. I'm honored you would commit yourself to this. I'm honored that you would show up for me for this community to be Unbroken. 

And again, I will ask you, please take a moment and leave a comment.

Share this with a friend.

Subscribe and review.

It let people know about this because without our voices and you matter in this conversation without your voice, we cannot end generational trauma.

So thank you, my friend,

I appreciate you. Have an amazing day!

My friend, Be Unbroken.

-Michael