10 Lessons About Healing Trauma I Wish I Knew Sooner

Hello, my friends and happy 2024. That's the first episode of the season. And I'm very excited to be back with you. As we get into this year, one of the things that I first want to start with is just to catch you up on not only a bit of my journey. And what's been happening over the course of the last really six months. But also to share with you what's to come here with Think Unbroken Podcast. And one of the things that's been really important to me is I've wanted to make sure that we can continually put out quality content. And you'll notice that over the course of the last few months we have been replaying a lot of older episodes. And the reason why is because just to be straight up with you, I've been exhausted. At one point earlier this year around July, August, I was actually contemplating closing Think Unbroken, taking the podcast, putting it on the shelf and just walking away.

I had a conversation with one of my very close friends and I broke this down with him and I said, Look, man, I'm in this place where I'm just physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. I've been on the road constantly, I've been coaching people for almost eight straight years. Even though I've, I love it. There's no question about it, but I had just hit this wall, multiple breakups, multiple heartbreaks, multiple business endeavors, not going the right way. A lot of things in my own personal life, including dealing with my autoimmune disease, like getting in my way. And I was just ready to close it all down and out of conversation with my friend. And he said, why don't you just take a break? The reason why I had really felt hesitant about taking a break is because like from a, I'll just show us from a, like a business perspective. If you lose momentum, it's very difficult to get momentum back. That actually holds true in a lot of elements of life. If you go and you look at when you start to have a lifestyle shift and you change maybe your diet or you change your exercise or you start doing things that are in alignment with the person you want to become. If you fall off the wagon, it can take a long time to get back to where you were. Not that you lose the data or the information that you had previously, just that it's more difficult to get there again. And I didn't think that I wanted to go through that here, and so the reality was. Even though I love coaching, I love speaking, I love writing the books, I love doing the podcast, they all fill me up, there felt to me to be a big disconnect between the input and the output. And the reason why it has nothing to do with like you guys who listen to the podcast has nothing to do with like money or anything like that. It just was, I was putting so many things other than myself before me. And that's just a by product of, to be honest with you I just want to fucking help people like I don't know how to explain this, but there is something deep within me where I'm like I can show you like I can show you the way to change your life because I've done it and I believe in it and even though it's incredibly daunting and difficult to sit on a lot of the conversations that I have with people on the streets and airports at basketball games, wherever people come to me, I'm like, if you just fucking follow the instructions, it's your things will be different. And I realized that a big part of that for me was like, I have to do that for me. Also, I'm so driven, and realistically, a big part of it is because I know the impact that we're capable of having as individuals, and I've always said this, if you know thyself, you win the game, and for me, it's always been, I want to be the greatest version of me possible. I get compared to people like David Goggins almost on a daily basis, and I love David. I've never met him. I know nothing about the man. Our backgrounds are obviously very similar, if you know him, the trauma of the abuse growing up in Indiana, being over 300 pounds, morbidly obese, learning disabilities. It's so strange to me when like I constantly get that comparison. I'm like, but I don't want to be him. I just want to be me, and this version of me has been so driven to show up, to build a community, to show people what's possible, but also to still being like incredibly disciplined in my own life where it was like, nutrition and exercise and making sure I'm doing the right things and investing myself with my own coaches and courses and seminars and therapy and all of those things. What I didn't realize was the emotional toll of what all of this has. There's a very large emotional toll, ‘cause I'll be honest. And look, I'm just going to always keep it real with you guys, like dealing with the personalities of people who've been through abuse is fucking incredibly difficult because as a coach and as this guy on this side, I get to sit across from you and I get to look at you and say, look, I know what is possible in your life when you do this. But motherfuckers just don't want to hear it. And it's some days it's like, why am I doing this? Why do I want to continue to show up when people aren't doing the thing? And then I pull myself out of that. And I'm like, yeah, but Michael, you didn't always do the thing. How the fuck do you think you got to 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking yourself to sleep. And I realized that what I needed to do was to have this break, I needed to take a step back, I needed to reevaluate my life. I needed to step deeper into my own journey, and you guys have heard me say this many times, like when you sign this fucking dotted line, like this is a rest of your life game. There's no quit in this, like when you decide you're going to heal, like you are in this game, and so making that declaration to myself, being in this game, looking at what was happening in my life, and not that it was, look, here's, what's really weird. 2023 was the best and maybe worst year of the last decade of my life. And in a lot of ways, it was affirming as well. And so when I made this decision to take this break in July, a lot of it just had to do with realizing the emotional energy required to produce this podcast, to interview hundreds of people, to travel the country speaking, to write these books, to do these blogs, to coach both my groups and the individuals.

It just took an emotional toll, like I wasn't burned out, but I feel like I was as close to being burned out as you can humanly be. I feel like if I would have gotten burned out though, I'd, this wouldn't be happening, you would not be listening to this, I'd be gone. I'd be sitting on the Island somewhere working on the next business, and so I made this decision. I said, I'm going to take a break. I'm going to take a break and I'm going to create a change in my life that is going to be unbelievably healing and also beneficial.

I'm going to share with you guys 10 lessons that I learned during this break that I think will help you on your journey and what I will tell you about this as well as in this, if you followed, maybe some of the things I've posted on social or a couple of the blogs I've sent out between July to now, there was a lot of doing nothing, which is arguably the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done as a high performer, as a person who is about like getting out here and building and creating the life as a person who believes in showing up every single day and going as hard as you can because you're going to die. What's so crazy is like taking the break has arguably been one of the most difficult things that I've had to endure because it was like, fucking boring. And what was interesting is I, as I was heading into July 4th weekend, which this all started to spin its head, I had made this declaration. I'm doing this a hundred day challenge. I'm going to do all of these things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. ‘Cause in my head I was like, Oh, there's a discipline. Something in here that's off and I'm super disciplined, and that's been the reason I've been able to make it this far and but something's off. I don't know what it is, but something in here isn't doing what it's supposed to do. So I'm going to go and add this thing over here and if I add this thing over here, it'll work itself out and then I'll be back into my zone, that didn't happen. And in the middle of this hundred day challenge, not middle, it was very early, like eight days into this hundred day challenge, what happened is I was in a meditation and I was just like, do nothing, I just could feel it reverberating through my body, my soul, the energy of the universe. It was like, do nothing. That is what your requirement is right now, for you to take a step back and chill out. And I'm not going to lie to you. It was incredibly difficult, I felt shame about it, I felt guilt about it, I felt like I was letting people down, I felt like the business was not going to thrive, I felt like all these people who need this content every day, they were going to be fucked. And I was just like you got to do it anyway, you have to do it anyway. And I made that decision and damn it, it was like so hard at the beginning because I'm sitting here in this lifestyle that I haven't lived and over a decade where it was like, I'm watching a movie, I'm chilling, I'm eating like the keto cereal, I'm hanging out with my friends more, I'm adventuring and going into the wild, like I'm doing all these things I hadn't really done, and I was doing some things that I thought I'd never do again.

In terms of I was like reading comic books and I was playing video games and I was just like literally forcing myself into nothingness, and it was so fucking hard. Now, I was still coaching my groups because I have a commitment and I'm a firm believer in keeping my commitments. I was still like speaking at the events that I had locked in. But then in September, I decided I was going to go do this ayahuasca retreat for my birthday in October. Now, I'm not going to get into the ayahuasca stuff yet, but what I will say is that was the kind of jump off point for me to step into kind of this next level, right? And the next level of this break was just to go and travel the world a little bit more again, I just needed it like desperately, it's something that fills me up, like I'm a vagabond by nature. I'm a guy who will pack up his backpack and go travel the world without even thinking about it twice. And I hadn't left the States in two years. And so I was like, okay, let's go. Let's go, that's not true. It was like a year, and so I was like, okay, cool. Let's go, and I just went to Costa Rica. I went to this ayahuasca retreat. I turned off my phone for eight days, that was fucking insane. And then from there I went to Columbia and, or flip that. I went to Columbia, then I went to Costa Rica and then I went to Argentina and I just had so much time to just explore and do nothing and do a lot of healing around this journey. And fight this battle and go and take this test of the challenge of this God or a source or whatever, putting us on this earth and looking at all the fucking pain I've been through and all the hurt and being like, this is a motherfucking test. That's all this shit is every day and recognizing that I'll share one insight to ayahuasca, like the meaning of life is to live. And that's so hard when you've been through hell, and I was like, all I'm going to just try to live and living is like this really interesting concept if you think about it, because it's have fun, have the adventure, kiss the girl, have sex, go on the ride that you're scared to ride, write the book, hang out with your friends, get married, quit the job, adopt a puppy I don't know, whatever the fuck that thing is for your life. It's that's a huge part of it, and the other part of it, this living thing. Is really tied into the discipline of creating a life that allows you to live because if we could all look my dream job would be this wake up, get stoned, eat, video games, eat gummy bears because I'm stoned. So I'm eating video games, eat gummy bears, play video games, watch porn, order pizza, drink Mountain Dew, fucking cheat on my girlfriend and have a million dollars in my bank account. That would be my dream job, and I know that's fucking insane, but that's, that is the shift that I've made in this life. Because that is the easy, like being that person over here on the other side of this journey who was a victim and blame the world and fucking hated everyone and did everything in his power to sabotage his own wellbeing, that's the dream, what's better than that? Nothing. And so when you decide, when I decided I'm going to change my life ever, It became almost an addiction. Oh, I won't even say it. It is a fucking addi I'm addicted to being as great as I can be. Even in this moment, I'm fucking addicted to it, right? And you should be too, and people are going to misconstrue this, I know I'm going to get an email from somebody or a text or a DM and people are going to be like, How can you say that? How can you be addicted? And you need to be fucking addicted to being great. For whatever being great means for you, not for me because we're living a different life. And as I was in this break, I realized like sometimes being great comes in the rest. Sometimes it comes in the just practice of nothingness, overachievers, high achievers, people who are like me, who are hypervigilant, who are. All of these fucking titles the universe wants to label us as we tend to go really fucking hard like I know people who go harder than me and I'm like I go hard and taking this break taking this rest was not only uncomfortable But it is probably the only reason I'm here still with think unbroken still Recording a podcast still coaching because I was fucking done and there's a lot of other reasons I won't get into now, but it was, I was done and I felt a lot of shame and guilt about it initially within the first couple of weeks. And I was like, man, who the fuck's going to listen to me? Who's going to want to be coached by me? I'm not fucking this superhero guy that I thought I was, and it was just, it was beautiful in a lot of ways because it made me just take a fucking step back and go, you're not invincible. Even in the addiction of creating something that will outlive me. It's I've got to rest, I got fucking sick eight times last year, I must have traveled, I had to have flown at least 60 times last year. God knows how many hotel rooms and rental cars and this and that and random gas stations, and I was just fucking done, and so I'm sitting here. The end of this past year, 2023, and I realized that there's so much more about this journey, not only in my own personal life that I have to continue to work through and grow through and heal, but also in. In coaching and in showing up and most importantly, like living life in this way, and I don't believe in balance.

I still don't even with the rest, I don't believe in balance, but I do believe in interjecting tools that create success in your life, and one of those tools for me right now in this moment and creating more success in my life is like practicing more breaks more time away, more rest, more recovery.

And so as we start this new year and the first episode of the podcast, I'm going to share with you a few key takeaways on some things that felt really true for me and some things that felt like. If I could bottle them up, they might be beneficial for what it looks like to rest when you're on this journey. And you may resonate with a lot of these things and you may not, I don't know. I just felt like these things were true for me, and here are the ten things that I've learned in the last six months that have allowed me to be able to be here again.

Number one. I'm reading these off my phone. Number one, the business is not as important as your wellbeing, the money, the career, the job. This doesn't mean money is this doesn't mean money is not a way that serves you. You're not, any less of a leader because you decide to take a break. Real number two, sorry, number two, real rest might mean removing yourself from the routine that got you to where you are. This was the most difficult thing for me because routine saved me when I found rock bottom. There's no question. Routine is the most important thing I've ever had in my number three. Some people are going to judge you, doesn't matter. Let them. You guys know my stance on this, you judge me, I don't give a fuck, like it has nothing to do with me. And if you're letting people in your life judge you and you take it to heart, you need to get that shit figured out, you need to come and join Think Unbroken, Think Unbroken, be in one of the coaching programs, and we will help you figure that out because it's time to let go.

Number four, the money in the business will slow down. The money in the career will slow down. Make sure you have systems in place to maintain, but know that when you lose momentum, you are going to have to pay a price.

Number five. There will be ample time for contemplating what is next. Peace is a great amplifier for creating a real game plan for the life you want.

Number six. You may end up needing to have more intimate conversations with yourself and your people about what you actually desire. Some opportunities will pass you by and you will need to accept that they are not the opportunities that you need right now. Eight, you will have more truly connected and intimate time with the people you care about.

Nine, you'll have to get comfortable with the nothing, and it's going to be very uncomfortable. And Ten for the first time in a long time, you will feel motivated again.

And all of that's very true. And I do feel motivated again. That's why we're back with the podcast. That's why we are launching the unbroken men program, this is something that I've been thinking about for a very long time. As I wrote a book about two years ago called unbroken men. We are not releasing that yet, but I am launching a men's coaching program for men only. And this is something that's near and dear to my heart, something that I think is incredibly important. And so if you, or if you know a man who is on their healing journey, Or is at the beginning of it and is in this place where they need support and you don't know how to help them and they don't know how to help themselves and shit's fucked up and everything's on fire and their life sounds like my life when I was 25. What I want you to do is email me or DM me. So email me Michael@thinkunbroken.com and put Man Up in the subject line and I will tell you how you can become a part of this program, which we are about to launch in January this year. It is coming or DM me on social @MichaelUbroken,Man Up and I will do the same because look at the end of the day, we have a lot of men walking around who are still hurt, lost little boys.

And that was me and that was me for a long fucking time and I've been able to coach and guide thousands of men over the last eight years in my co ed programs and the online programs and things of that nature. And I was just like, you know what? I need to spend time with men. It feels like my calling.

It feels like what I'm here for right now at this phase of my life. And so I'm very excited to be able to step deeper into that. So just email me, Michael@thinkunbroken.com or DM me on any of the social platforms @MichaelUnbroken message man up, and I will send you all the details about that program that is starting here in January.

That said, there's so many thoughts, so many revelations, so many things happening in Think Unbroken and what is next. One of the things that's really important that I want to tell you about is that as we head into this year, there's going to be some changes to this podcast. I'll share some more details about that, but you will be able to access the entire Think Unbroken archive for just a couple bucks a month. That will be live very soon. So be on the lookout for that, we've got over 700 Episodes of this show. We will also be launching the Unbroken Men Podcast, which I'm super fucking excited about, and we'll also be releasing the Unbroken Relationships Podcast. Say that again. The Unbroken Relationships Podcast, maybe Unbroken Love. I haven't really decided the title yet, but it's going to be about dating, relationships, sex, love, and everything in that world. So that said, my friends, thank you for hanging out with me. Welcome to 2024. I'm fucking excited for this year, I feel fired up, I feel focused, I feel refreshed, I feel recovered, I feel like we're going to do something incredible and beautiful this year. And thank you for being along on the ride with me. I know the last six months were a little bit bumpy. That shit happens, this is life. I'm going to keep it real with you guys. Check me out on social @MichaelUnbroken. You can get a free copy of think unbroken. If you go to book.thinkunbroken.com, I will send you a free copy of that. You just got to leave a review for the pod.

And Until Next Time,

My Friend, Be Unbroken,

I'll See Ya.