E85 Breaking Free of trauma with Grace Juba | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Podcast

What's up Unbroken Nation! Hello, My friends. I'm Michael Unbroken host of the Think Unbroken podcast and founder of thinkunbroken.com. And I'm honored to be your trauma coach and Mentor because I believe that everyone is capable of getting unstuck cultivating self-love and becoming the hero of Their Own Story.

I believe that when implemented correctly, the practical tools and education, you will receive from this show will help you lead an unbroken and extraordinary life.

 I believe that no matter what we come from that, we all have the ability to choose ourselves first to create manifest, a powerful and grace-filled future, and love the reflection in the mirror. I believe that every day is a day to grow, learn heal, and change.

That's why I started my company thinkunbroken.com, which is an online training and healing and personal growth platform where you get everything that I know about how to get motivated, be accountable, get out of the vortex and become the hero of your own story through Community Connection and Commitment.

For more information, visit thinkunbroken.com. Please, listen closely as you may learn, just one thing that will help you be unbroken.

And please share this episode with at least three of your friends because we all need community and connection in our healing journey and be sure to DM me and tag me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken, so, I can say, ‘Hi’

I just want to thank you again for being a part of this for listening and being a member of The Unbroken Nation. Now, let's get in today's show and make the world Unbroken.

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Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Michael Unbroken here and you are listening to the Think Unbroken podcast. Today, I am joined by my guest and friend, Grace, who is on a mission to help people break free of their limitations.  Grace, my friend. How are you today? What is going on? Welcome to Think Unbroken!

Grace: Thanks, Michael. I'm so happy to be here.

Michael: Yeah, me too. I'm happy to have you. So you and I have been connected for, I don't know, two, three years now. I see what you're trying to do in the world and create change and talk to me about what's going on in your life. How did you get to this place? Where you're like, you know what? I'm going to go and speak up. I'm going to go and create this, this Mission almost as parlay like when the same aspect but I'm doing what has happened in your life to bring you to the point where you've decided you're going to step up and speak out against childhood trauma?

Grace: Well, it's been quite a journey. Nothing has happened overnight, and it's been quite a few years of just therapy, and personal development, but I think one of the biggest things is seeing really brave people such as yourself, walk before me and do the healing, but the go-ahead and speak out. And something I've learned is that our deepest pain when we face that and heal, that is not only our medicine, but it's also medicine for other people, and it would basically be unselfish to share what we've learned with the world because let's face it. I'm not the only person that has been abused as a child, I'm not the only person that has experienced trauma or has face adversity in my life, right? Everyone goes through it and when it comes to something as niche as childhood trauma and CPTSD, I mean, those can be really tough things, and we often feel like we're the only ones and that was alone because it really is, it can feel so dark and feel so heavy that you almost lose sight of things you lose hope and you forget that you can carry on in life, but it truly was seeing other people share their stories and seeing that, even though they had been through, what I had been through, they've been able to go on and create a really beautiful life for themselves. So I wanted to step up and really pay that forward.

Michael: Yeah, so beautiful, I love that. And, you know, I often tell people, you know, I didn't sign up to be the spokesperson for this and to be honest, nor do I want the job, but, I feel a moral obligation because ultimately my goal at the end of the day is to in generational trauma. I cannot imagine a world wherein 30 years I'm still relevant, right? Not in terms of Michael as a human being, but as in being a leader, in this space of trauma, I recognized on a long enough timeline, that that's very implausible, but that doesn't mean, I'm not going to start planting the seeds right now, you know, one of the things that often happens is in trauma, we lose our voice, we lose the ability to step into taking ownership of who we are. What's that journey in that process been like you for you to go from there I say and I don't want put words in your mouth but this invisible person to the world to stepping in and owning the power as Who You Are?

Grace: Lots of healing, tons of healing, and I remember there were different milestones that I would hit during my healing, right? Like, in the beginning, I was having trouble even sleeping, eating, talking to anyone, and then I got to a point where I was then a functioning young adult and I was able to talk to new people and I could keep a healthy diet and a consistent sleep schedule. But then it started getting into more right? Where I'm then flourishing in my career but there's always like one more that I could go or do well in relationships but there's always still like a level where I feel like I just can't get beyond. So that's where I really entered into the personal development space and I learned all about limiting beliefs and I remember I came across one of my most limiting beliefs, an event, a conscious leadership event, and it was that I deserved it. I deserve to be abused as a child, and I remember for the next two or three hours, I felt paralyzed, like, I could not talk, I just remember sitting there and I could just feel like this lump in my throat, and like, the first few words that I could actually get out, was to another female that I really trusted, and I could only whisper, I was like this was what my limiting belief was. And I just remember, like, at that moment, it was two years ago. I knew, even though I wanted to be a speaker and a writer and help Transform their lives. There is still a lot more work that I needed to do, and the more I leaned into that and face my pains and let myself feel all of the fields that come along with it from sadness, anger to shame, to just full-on depression and hopelessness. But then, to really hold true to my values of I am resilient, I am worthy, I am enough, and it was really just I was able to help replenish those wounds so that I could come back even stronger.

Michael: That's really beautiful.  I love that in so much of this journey. It really starts with acknowledgment and not acknowledgment in that your culpable for the things that have happened to you because I don't know a single child who deserves to be abused or hurt. But in acknowledgment in the way, that and I don't know if this was your journey, but for me, when I finally sat with this shit and I looked at and I said, wow, some dark things happen to me. There was this incredible sense of freedom, that came along with it because I recognized for the first time, I could step into what's next for me. And so, acknowledgment, while is incredibly difficult and probably one of the most difficult things that we will do in the practical aspect of it, I can't think of a better thing that you can do to start this journey, then just to go. Yeah, some bad things happen. Now, you mentioned something really, really powerful and, I share this all the time with this audience, probably ad nauseam, but it's so important, you mentioned values and you mention your values when I think about my journey prior to actually, really having what I would dare call scale in my life, having better just a better emotional connection to myself. It really started with me identifying my values and who I was so that I create a funnel to move through life. Can you talk about the power of not only identifying your values but what kind of role those plan in your life now?

Grace: Absolutely! And I will say there are many ways to find what your values are. I chose to do that with a medical professional therapist, and I also worked closely with a trusted friends such as my grandma. I mean, she really helped me as well, and also coaches. Coaches, have helped me tremendously because sometimes when we look at ourselves and we look at our trauma, sometimes, we might have a really dark filter on and we might not be able to see the gifts that we actually have. So if you're struggling with those, I absolutely recommend reaching out to a coach and just really out helping you be able to see your own light. And so when I did that, I saw that I was actually very resilient and I was determined and I'm telling you, if you are alive after what you've been through, you also have those as well, and that was really the foundation that helped me go on to not only create my life but create my identity and that's the cool thing. When you're going through all of this healing, right? You get to learn that, you are not what other people say you are, you are who you choose to be and making those choices, I feel is the most important choice that we can make as humans, and that's just what we decide ourselves to be. How we choose to look at ourselves, and so being that resilient and determined person, I now know that whatever comes up in my life, I will handle it, I can set my sights on a goal and I will get there one way or another, I will get there because I'm determined and I'm resilient enough to overcome anything that comes up in the way.

Michael: I love that. And when you have your values and use them for the system in which you operate in the world, you effectively are choosing yourself. One of the biggest parts that I believe because I speak the first person here that I struggled with in my journey that I see my clients struggle with that, I see people struggle with all over the world until they stop struggling with it is  'choosing themselves', because often when we step into trying to follow our intuition, our gut to try that thing that we think we want to do as children. There are often ramifications on the backside people say no don't stop that's not how you do it you're not good enough so on and so forth. Then you end up in this place where you're 25 years old, 30 years old, 71 years old, and you're like, I don't know who I am. Talk to me about the journey and what that's been like, to step into choosing yourself, and what was practical for you along the way to be able to actually do that.

Grace: Great question. So choosing myself, man, for the entirety of my childhood and even my young adult life. I was always choosing my family and I was just choosing, what school should I go to? What career should I step into? How should I act?  How should I talk right? And I was doing all of that by all but also causing myself so much pain because I'm like I'm living for these people that have damaged me so much, we're at one point, I never knew if I was ever going to be able to come back. So I started really contemplating that I'm like, why am I living for people that have hurt me? And if I'm not living for them, who am I going to live for? And I really was only left with myself and at first, that was scary because I think coming out of my own experience, I was definitely a little codependent right? My identity, kind of was dependent on them and who I am, but when I was really only left with myself, that's where I saw that I really just have to choose myself, and there were many times within the past few years and where I was just like, well, who am I? And at first, I could be scary, right? Because you feel like you aren't anyone, you don't know who you are, but that's also the beauty because you get to create who you are, and once you start creating who you are, you start really getting just a very narrow focus on what it is that you want and something I've learned, and I really I stick to very well is if something comes up in my life and it aligns with what I want, then I go for it, if something comes up in my life and it doesn't align with what I want, I do not go for it and so that could be people, places, hobbies, thoughts, ‘thoughts’ is a big one. As you know, you always talk about mindset and that's another thing I think that that's very powerful. But yeah, choosing yourself is just going to provide massive value for your journey.

Michael: Yeah, absolutely. And in that you, I tell people all the time and actually Goosebumps as you're talking because, like, I relate to this, I love what you're saying because went, and I try to embed that into people's brains. It's like I could shove one piece of information into your brain, that would change your life, it would be Choose Yourself and choosing yourself isn't selfish, first and foremost, which I think people get conflated, and I tell people all the time, like, the Michael sitting here right now, talking to you today. As a caricature of the idea of the person, I believe I was capable of being I looked at my life and I said, this isn't who I want to be. So what am I going to do about it? And for me, it was like, no excuses, just results by any means necessary. I'm going to go and become the person that I believe I can be and in that, I still had to face the limiting self-beliefs, I still had to face being stuck, I still had to face blaming the world for my problems, many of which I created. What was it like for you in the switch of stepping into choosing yourself while also contending with the understanding that I'm codependent because now it's this really interesting juxtaposition while you're trying to remove yourself from other people and step into yourself and you're being pulled in these multiple directions? How do you navigate that because I think that's such a common occurrence for people?

Grace:  Oh, my gosh. So, like you said before acknowledgment is number one?

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Hey, what's up! Unbroken Nation! Michael here, I just wanted to take a moment and invite you to the Think Unbroken Community coaching sessions. We start these Sessions at the beginning of every month, we take a deep dive into the Baseline and Frameworks of what it means to get out of the vortex and become the hero of your own story through Community Connection commitment and education. You can learn more about this at healtraumacoach.com, where you can fill out an application and sign up for a Trauma Healing call with me and my team to see if the Think unbroken Community coaching sessions are right for you.

That's at coaching.thinkunbroken.com.  We start at the beginning of every month, I cannot wait to see you there and I'll be honest with you if I'm not the right fit for you, we will help you find the person that can help you on your journey.

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Grace: And I will say that when you are left with yourself and you realize, 'Okay, I'm responsible for everything' and at first, you're like okay, freedom, freedom and then you're like, wait, if I'm responsible for everything then I actually created a lot of this shit, right? So it's a hard pill to swallow but It's the best pill to swallow because it's really the one that's going to set you free. You start, start seeing what your play is in everything. What kind of patterns are you creating? What kind of people are you, choosing? What thought patterns are you choosing? And once you start to realize that you actually have a lot more responsibility and a lot more power over your life, you can then really start to take it back and start to have ownership of your life. And from that point, you can really go on to create what it is that you want. But first, you definitely have to take ownership.

Michael: Yeah. And ownership is a scary word the people because we spend so much time just being, okay, with the fact that it's somebody else's fault and so in that you have to understand something so important that ownership is really about putting your feet on the ground and saying, I am the one in control of my life because the reality is nobody breathes for you, nobody lives for you, nobody loves for you, you're the only one capable of doing these things. But so much of that really starts with how you think about yourself than the world. Again, what you think becomes what you speak, what you speak is your actions, your actions, then become your reality. Talk about the pendulum swing about the way you used to talk to yourself versus the way you talk to yourself now?

Grace: Oh my gosh. The way I used to talk to myself. Oh! poor Gracie, I was so mean, especially when I had just come out of my family’s house, and that's when I really started taking a deep look at my PTSD and everything that had occurred ever since I was a baby and I just was so, I was very critical of myself, I was very demeaning, I was very demoralizing, I was also very self-pitying. Why me, why did this happen to me? And, you know, you're so stupid, why can't you do this right? And I think that part of that was something that I took on from my abusers. And I'm going to give myself Grace because when you're around that and it's a constant we hear it? They're going to kind of come into your head as tapes, but awareness mindfulness that really was what helped me look at what it was that I was saying to myself and yoga, especially is what helped for me just doing the poses, and if I couldn't get a pose, right? That's where I would start to see, like, this really critical and negative voice come up and be like, damn it, why can't you do this? But you can't do anything, right? But that's where it really taught me awareness, where I thought, would come up. Don't just look at the thought, don't get attached to it, and let it pass. And the more I did that, the more I started to choose which thoughts, I wanted like, oh, you're doing great. Okay, the sock and say you're doing terrible, that thought can go, I don't want that though, like, that does not serve me. So I'm just going to let that one go. And it's definitely, it's taken practice, but I went from depressed anxious, self-hating to now, like this really optimistic, grateful, loving person, and it's so much that it just bubbles over and other people feel it too. And I think that that's the biggest gift of healing. It not only heals yourself, but it heals other people around you. So what you say to yourself, how you treat yourself and how you feel is honestly, a ripple effect, like here you are, and you just send out these vibrations. So you might as well make them good ones, right? Because not only are you going to feel good but you're also going to help other people around you feel better.

Michael: Yeah, that I love that. I love that. The vibrations are everything, right? And you mentioned something, I think two things really important one. I touch on quickly, the power of yoga was so incredible for me in my journey and many people's Journey because it's actually the first time for most of us that we actually have to stop and be in our own body. So when you're growing up, and trauma, you're growing up in a cortisol state, your hyper-vigilant, you have fight or flight, just always turned on your body's never at rest, your brain is never at rest. And in yoga, it's funny. I won't share his story, but my little brother was like, dude, I was in yoga a couple of weeks ago and I was just bawling and I was like, yeah, dude, because you never took five fucking seconds to be alone with yourself. And so, if you're on the fence about yoga like it's, I don't think that it's something that should be taken lightly in terms of the power that it has to create change in your life. The other thing you mentioned was gratitude, gratitude is so difficult for people to wrap their heads around because it's something that right now is very common in the space of healing and personal development, but I don't think people really tap into the power of it. Because for me, gratitude is looking at, not only the micro wins in my life. I'm going damn, good job, man. I try to instill this into my clients and the people I work with, but can you celebrate the big things also and more, so can you show appreciation of the world. It's really easy to be like grief-stricken, and look at your life and go, I fucking hate this, the world is terrible, I was there, I raised my hand to trust me among the first people to admit this, but when I started stepping into gratitude in this way, where I was just looking for something to celebrate her be happy about there, was this tremendous change in my life, because I recognize, it's not always as dark as it looks.  What was it like for you to go and step into gratitude? What does that Journey been for you?

Grace: I gotta say. I am so excited to talk about this one because this one is my absolute favorite and that's why I'm Instagram name, I am grateful Grace, but Michael, I was right there with you. A few years ago, I was 19 and I'm just like my therapist, like starting a gratitude journal, don't like what I have. No, there's nothing in my life to be grateful for my life sucks, you know? So I was right there on the grief train with you, but I just forced myself, every single night, I would sit down and I would find what I was grateful for and it started off as and grateful for air and I'm grateful for water, you know, I was so miserable back then. Oh my gosh. But the more I did it and it was like, maybe two or three nights in a row where I was like, grateful for air, grateful for water but then it started to turn into more. Like, okay, I'm grateful for the light, I'm grateful for the lunch that my grandma made me and I just I suck with it, I stuck with it and I would have to really look into my journals and see how long that first gratitude journal practice was but I then started to really stick with it and I tried to do it consistently every single night. And basically, I got to a point where I did it almost every single night I can't say there was a hundred percent, but for three years and it's not the point where like if someone cuts me off on the highway, I'm like I'm grateful for you and I could try to come up with a million reasons why, you know, maybe they save me from a speeding ticket, maybe they made me slow down, and look at the flowers, a little bit more, whatever it is. It is just I now have an abundance of gratitude that no matter what comes up in my life, I'm grateful for it. If something comes up in my life and it's going awry, it's not going the way I thought it should I'm grateful for it because I know that it's going to lead me down a different path, that is going to serve me and my purpose better.

And when I started implementing that onto the trauma that I had, that is where it really started to change my life because there was a clinical study and when people go through traumas such as us in such as, you know, whether it's any type of childhood abuse or whatever whenever you go through trauma, your brain is chemically altered correctly. But when you start, then attaching a positive reinforcement on to that, that's where you really start to amplify the empathy that you have in the resiliency that you have, and I'll try to get this study and send it on over to you, but that's where I started to notice how powerful gratitude is the Gratitude is an amplifier, it acts as a magnet. Whatever you focus it on it just grows. So if you focus it on, I am grateful for my health, guess that you're going to get healthier. I am grateful that I came out of a storm and I still have a beautiful heart, your hearts going to get even bigger and beautiful even bigger and more beautiful. So that's where I started to learn that gratitude is such a powerful tool and I still use it to this day. I'm going to use it until the day I die because I think that that's just one of the best healing tools that I came across in my journey.

Michael: Yeah, I love it. And I felt gratitude in my journal every day today, a row, I'm grateful for Community Connection and commitment. And I write that frequently because that's such a Cornerstone of what think Unbroken is, but Community plays, such a powerful role in this journey connection, such a powerful role commitment, such a powerful role. But in this we still face adversity, we still face, not only the adversity within ourselves that we kind of layout as tracks ahead of us, the adversity, from the world. People saying, how dare you, who do you think you are to talk about this? Keep the family Secret, The Family secret. You have the whole nine, right? How do you push through the adversity to be in this position to say, I'm going to have this conversation whether you like it or not.

Grace: Yeah, so that's a big thing, and that kind of circles back to choosing yourself, and I was told from many years do not talk about this, don't talk about. So, and so you're going to ruin their life and I'm like, wait, you almost ruined mine, and the only reason why it's existing is that someone in some way, ruined portions of your life and you didn't heal from them because you didn't talk about it and you went on to hurt me with it, right? So it goes back to you wanting to heal generational trauma, the only reason why it exists is that someone did not talk about it, and no one, put an end to it. And I came out of this storm and I did all of this healing and I realized that I now have a ton of courage because I was able to overcome what I did, but then I also developed a very strong voice for myself. And once I started releasing the voice and really letting go of the pain, like letting go, by the way, is not just, okay, not going to look at it, letting go is like, actually talking about it and physically letting it go from your body. And the more that you do that, you strengthen your voice, you strengthen your courage, you become fearless. And the more that we do that as the collective, we actually shed light onto these really dark subjects that no one wants to talk about, but only exist because no one's talking about. So in the face of adversity and like you said, it does come up. I mean, I recently had a family member reach out to me and at first I'm like, oh my gosh, what is going to happen? You know, I kind of went back to like a typical trauma and panic response, I'm like, oh my God, what is going to happen? What are they going to say? What are they going to do to me? And I took some deep breaths and I really grounded myself and who I am and what I'm going to do. And so who I am goes back to the identity, comes back to being resilient and having courage, and what I'm going to do is set it free so that I can help others set themselves free.

Michael: That's powerful and I'm right there with you. And one of my superpowers is I don't care what people think about me, I'm on a mission at the end of the day, if you don't like me, I'm sorry, you know. Hopefully, we can shake hands and be in connection with each other and move on. But at the end of the day, I'm on a mission and that mission comes before everything that anyone wants to put on my way but especially myself and so that means that most days I got to put my feet on the ground and say, get this shit done, it doesn't matter. You have to step up for yourself, you know, and that's such a really interesting juxtaposition of the person that I used to be in so much about many people who are survivors trying to understand how to navigate self-care versus taking it easy on themselves. And so I'm very curious because it sounds like we're very on a similar path here. How much of this journey has been, you just being like you gotta do this, you gotta show up, stop making excuses?

Grace: Oh, that's been a huge portion. And I will say that for much of my journey.  I wanted to choose the easy way I wanted to choose what's comfortable. What's pretty, what's happy?  And that was a trap because when I'm always choosing that, I'm not actually growing and it started getting to a point where I'm like, alright, yes, I'm Happy, Everything Is Beautiful but I'm not where I want to be.  And so I started looking where do I want to be? And I looked at him like, all right, I know for a fact I want to be here, but this is the road and I have to go through trenches and it's going to be rocky and some sure, I might have some beautiful views along the way, but damn. It's going to be hard, right? But just seeing where I wanted to be in telling myself like there, I have to choose myself because no one else is going to choose me, and in order for me to not only help myself but help the people that I want to help, I have to go through this journey. So having discipline is something that has just been, like that's number one for me and I think it's because I'm also like I want to be a free spirit but the more I realized the more disciplined I am, the freer I can actually be and just yeah pushing myself to stay true to my commitments, whether it's you know through working out or through with work in certain kind of training, to get to where I want to be, that's a huge portion is coming down to discipline.

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Michael: Yeah, some might one of my favorite books ever is called “Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink” And when I read this book, oh gosh, it must be five or six years ago is right when it came out. One of the things I recognize about my life is that I was lacking discipline at scale, meaning that I was like, super disciplined about everything, time, food, money, energy, effort people, and people look at and as it's a very scary thing until you understand and I love that you said freedom because the if you take control over all the little things of your life you show up you hold yourself accountable you follow through, what comes on the backside, this immense amount of freedom because it gives you the ability to be who it is that you want to be as self-defined by you. And while on this journey, like so much of this is a battle, right? It is a struggle, never going to say it's easy, I've never told one person in this shit was going to be simple. I only said that it would work in time, but sometimes we need to leverage something bigger than us, God, Spirit Universe, whatever that thing is that helps us hold on to something. And I don't, I don't go or swing either way on anything except knowing this. Sometimes, I put some things in the universe and it comes to pass, talk to me about what you hold onto, and in other things in the universe, God, Spirit, whatever it is that you leverage when you need strength, when you need that extra little dare I say to get through the adversity of what's happening in life?

Grace: Yeah, so it's definitely my faith. And yeah, it's been quite a journey throughout the years. In fact, when I first started my healing journey, I did not believe in God, I would endure, I was angry at God, it always went in between the two because I was like, well, if there really was a God and if he really loved me, then he wouldn't have let any of this happen to me, right? No, it's not about that. He sometimes puts you through these storms, these struggles and he does that so you can learn more about yourself, you can develop new strengths and perspectives, but ultimately, so you can go seeking for him. And so, I'm Christian. And I'm newly baptized, and it's something that has really helped in my healing journey. I became a Christian last year, and throughout that year, I think that that's really where I developed my voice the most because it was through the gift of Jesus Christ. Where I was really able to set myself free of a lot of the shame and a lot of the guilt and just reading the Bible and I'll be the first to let you know. Like, I grew up in a Catholic household and so I would always balk at the Bible and be like, what know that's cheesy, I can't do that and but now I'm 27 and I can't wait to read the Bible, I can't wait to read verses from God because I feel like it gives me so much guidance, it gives me the guidance that I have been seeking and I looked into many different kinds of religions and spiritual gurus, but this is just what worked for me and just reading the Bible and going to a Christian or non-denominational church where everyone is accepting, and we're there to praise and worship but also to learn and it has given me so much not just guidance, but that has also given me freedom. And it's given me a lot of confidence too because I no longer feel alone, and I mean, that's written right there for centuries now that I am a beloved child of God, and he tells me who I am, and he tells me that he will never forsake me or leave me alone. And that's something that gives me power. And the more that I practiced, that faith muscle, the more fuel, I have to chase after my purpose.

Michael: Yeah, that's really beautiful. And I'm glad you've had that experience, you know, I don't actually, I don't know that I've ever really wanted in-depth into this, but I won't right now. But I grew up in the Mormon church and growing up in that capacity I had definitely kind of the same thoughts as you with like either a God is, you know, not existing or, you know, I'm angry at God or whatever and I don't really have a relationship beyond like I put things in the universe. I do my best and I see what happened. And that to me is good enough, but one of the really beautiful things that you said was Community, and Community is so important in this journey that feeling of not being alone, whether you are in a knitting community or bulk community or a church-related Community or if you're part of The Unbroken Nation, like being a part of the community is so important in this process because we spend so much fucking time being like, I'm alone, nobody gets it, I'm struggling, I'm by myself. But the truth of it is, there are eight billion people on planet Earth, there's no fucking way you're going through this alone, talk to me a little bit more about the power of community and connection and what that's done for you and your journey.

Grace: Oh my God, guys. Well, it's done amazing things. I will say that when I first left my house, oh my gosh. I like what you said. I was like, I am so alone and I felt like I really do this, I was the only person that this happened to, you know, is caring so much shame, so much guilt wasn't speaking out about it yet but also going back to the responsibility piece I and had a very hard time trusting which I completely understand why anyone would come out of any kind of similar situation such as an abusive childhood or abusive home? But that was also part of me, right? I wasn't opening up and therefore I was saying I'm alone, but once I got into a much more healthy community and I started receiving treatment and by the grace of God, I was able to go live with my grandmother who is kind and loving. But once I started making really smart choices about who to open up to and you know, it's safe to go to yoga and it's safe to talk to the teacher. It's safe to talk to people that that exhibit kindness and exhibit like they want to grow in themselves too and the more I did that, the more I healed. And also, the more I started talking out about my pain to other people, that would understand whether they had gone through something like the same situation, or they had gone through their own struggles. Just realizing, you are not alone, you're not the only person that feels alone. We all go through it, we all face really tough and terrible things in our lives. But don't let yourself get alienated at all and I think that, you know, coming back to some Christianity. And what I've learned is that can be an attack from the enemy or Satan, is he wants you to make you feel like you're alone, and it's just like, all these lies that are put into your head, but they're not true because at the end of the day, you are a child of God, you were, you were created for community. So find the community that works for you, is it a dance Community, a yoga community business Community? You know, it's like, there's so much out there and it's all it's right there for us. But yeah, Community helped me so much, it just, opened up my heart and was able to not only receive gifts from others but share mine with them.

Michael: Yeah, I love that. Such a huge part of my journey was being in connection with other human beings who had similar experiences so I can look for the first time ago. Wow. Okay, they get it because we feel like other people don't get it and we feel like we're we gotta carry these deep dark secrets and look I'll be real I tell people all the time like there's some stuff I'm never going to openly share with you guys. It's just not going to happen and I don't think it needs to be said again and be because you don't need to hear it but ultimately like being in these rooms and being with people whether it was men's group therapy or Small group therapy, or being a part now in the leader of being The Unbroken Nation like that's so incredible to me because we get to come together for something bigger than us. Grace. Before I ask you my last question, you know, I want to, I want to bring this up because I think it's really important. As you're moving forward, you are trying to bring the voice of the unspoken to the world. You recently, our talk to me about the Miss Colorado Pageant, this is a big deal. What is going on here?

Grace:  It's a huge deal. I know. Who would have thought that I would put myself out there in this way, but as I mentioned, I've been doing so much healing and so much personal development, and I'm now ready to stand up in front of many people and use my voice to help empower other people that feel they don't have one. Because I remember what it felt like when I felt like I was the only one and I didn't have a voice and I just this opportunity came up to run from Miss Colorado, USA 2021 and I jumped at it because it's going to be an incredible opportunity to. like I said, just use my voice and help this message, reach those who need it, and who need to hear that? They are not alone and you are not what happened to you and you can go on and create a very beautiful life for yourselves. So that's what I plan to do with the title and to just go around and inspire many people that I've gone through trauma and are grieving and just need that light that need that voice of hope to carry on and just take another step towards their healing.

Michael: I love that. That's beautiful and you have my full support and The Unbroken Nation's support. So guys I'm actually going to put a link in the show notes and you can go check out Grace's Instagram and I am grateful Grace and she has a GoFundMe going so that we can help her support our mission, guys, you need to understand this about ending generational trauma, because every single person who gets on a stage and talks about, this is a person who helps us be one step closer to creating massive shifts in the world. So, Grace is @iamgratefulgrace. I'm going to put the link for her. GoFundMe in the show notes, if you can support, if it's a dollar, if it's a thousand, if it's 10 million, please give something, because every person who is speaking about childhood, trauma is a person who deserves to be supported by our community. So super proud of you Grace, I absolutely love that Grace. My last question for you, My friend is, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Grace: I did be unbroken, is to be courageous, self-loving, and loving to others and joyous. It absolutely means to be courageous, loving to yourself and to others, and joyous because there is so much to be celebrated in this life and the more that we can move towards that, the more we set ourselves free and help other people. And to me, that's what it means to be unbroken.

Michael: Absolutely, beautiful Grace, my friend. Thank you so much for being here. Amazing conversation.

Unbroken Nation! Thank you for hanging out with my friends.

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