Belief Is the Only Thing That Matters

What's up unbroken nation? I hope you guys are doing well. I want to get into today's podcast. This is a new episode I know we've had a couple of repeat episodes recently I've been working diligently on the last the launch of unbroken men, which is happening on Thursday this upcoming Thursday, October 3rd at 3p.m Pacific 6 p.m. Eastern you still have an opportunity to join us go to unbroken men dot com I also want to let you know I had a lot of people ask me this question Am I done coaching women? The answers that is an absolute astounding. No, I'm gonna be very clear about that. And in fact, Unbroken Women will be launching very soon. So I'm excited about that endeavor as well. We'll get into more of the reasons why I'm attempting this, doing this, and some thought processes about it later. Today, I want to talk to you about beliefs. One of the things that happens in our lives and in our journey is that we are shaped by our beliefs. Now what's so hard about the shaping of our beliefs is that many times the beliefs that we have they are instilled in us Through the experiences of our past, through our childhood, through the experiences, even most recent about what we think, believe, and see about the world. Belief, ultimately, in my opinion, is the only thing that matters. I actually talked about this in our coaching group on Monday night, this past Monday. Which if you want information about that, go to thinkunbroken.com You can hop on a free coaching call with me. And I'll tell you about that group and more.

One of the things that we talk about is this idea of belief. And in order to understand belief, we have to first understand the definition. What does it actually mean? So many people run around using words that they don't even understand. And because of that, they are often lost. And what I mean lost in the sense of not having clarity about understanding and the framework of meaning. And it's easy to get caught up in that, right? Because often, and I don't know about you, but I was never taught to just pause and to think about the application of words I was using in my life. And that's something that I came across in my senior year of high school, I didn't go to school like you guys all know this, but there was a class that I went to Mr. Smith's class and he taught the Latin root word understanding and definitions of language. And for whatever reason, because this is just how my brain is wired. I was obsessed with that class. And so it's actually one of the only A's I ever had in high school and I found myself even at that young age, coming to recognize that the way we define words will actually shape our lives and so this notion about belief in my life is the thing that has carried me into this place I do truly believe that belief is the only thing that matters. If you do not believe that you are capable of doing something, you will never take the appropriate action. You will never show up. You will never get in the game. You will never play all out. And so first let's define belief. Belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. Belief is trust, faith, or confidence in something or someone. Belief is a deeply held conviction or acceptance without requiring evidence. That's what's really interesting when you get in the conversation about faith, higher power, even love, right? And belief shapes the way we perceive the world. It brings our interpreted experiences and our decision making to the forefront because ultimately we are the sum total of all of our experiences. So everything that we understand about ourselves is predicated on a past experience. That's where it gets difficult because if you apply childhood trauma and the traumatic experiences that we have, beliefs because of trauma distort our reality. They distort our perception of ourself, of safety, of possibility, of love, of faith, of all of the things. Trauma comes in, gets in your way, and then shakes your core beliefs. Really, if you think about it, trauma can result not only in shaping those core beliefs but making them negative. How many times in your life have you felt unworthy, felt powerless, felt incapable? How many times in your life have you felt undeserving? You felt like you don't matter? Or if you're like me and you had this thought I'm unlovable because of what happened to me. That to me is like one of those Holy shit moments where you're like, wow, I feel this way. I have this belief because of the past, right? They shape trauma, shapes your self identity, right? And so you become unless you're paying attention, which you are, because you're listening to this podcast and you're willing to do something different, you become effectively what your trauma tells you should be. And for many people, I include myself in this, often that is victimhood. And then, trauma also impacts our belief about the world. How many of us think the world is unsafe? We don't believe that people have our best interest in mind. The woman or the man we're dating is out to get us. The government wants to take everything from us, which may or may not be true. I won't get into that today. We think about our friends who They always stab us in the back. We think about how money is evil and rich people suck. We think that our health is terrible because of whatever reason and that becomes our perceptions. So because of our beliefs after trauma, that's what starts to happen. It shapes us. And then you have to understand that you actually get to change and transform those beliefs to serve you. This is what is so fascinating about it. This requires awareness, right? That's step one of all of this can you be aware enough of the things that have limited you? Those limiting beliefs can you be aware enough to actually be able to name them? For a long time I, and this is just fucking dead true, I believed that no one loved me. I believed I didn't matter, I believed I wasn't important, I believed that if I did matter, if anyone did love me, if I was important, then my dad would have been in my life, my stepdad wouldn't have beat the shit out of me, my mom wouldn't have abused me and cut off my finger, my grandma wouldn't have been racist, I believed those things. And then I came to realize that story that I was telling myself was really holding me back. Awfully awful some. Awful-some-ly. Is that a word? I might have just made that word up. But it was awful some to feel held back by the stories in my own head. Constantly battling myself. Being like, you don't deserve a healthy relationship. You should only date women who are mean to you. You should be in debt. You should be fat. You should smoke cigarettes. All these things that you know about me, you should be a bad brother. You should this, you should that. Like those limiting beliefs, those became my reality. Like you don't become 350 pounds smoking two packs a day, drinking yourself to sleep, your brothers hate you. And you're cheating on your girlfriend, ‘cause you believe otherwise. What do I always tell you guys? Mindset is this. Mindset is what you speak. Excuse me. Mindset is what you think becomes what you speak. What you speak become your actions, your actions become your reality. And so if all of your beliefs, your thoughts, begin with negativity, you will do negative things and thus your life will be negative. That's the nature of it. I wish it were different, but it's not. And I have a lot of supporting evidence, both anecdotally, experientially, and through like my own lived experience to prove that to be true. So you have to challenge those beliefs. And the challenging of the beliefs begins with asking yourself this question, are those thoughts true? And we have to find evidence that you have to actually go out and look for and find the evidence in your life that actually supports the contrary, that counter the truth. Not counter that contradicts the beliefs that you currently have. Where do you find love? Where do you find happiness? Where do you find that you're worthy? Where do you find that you're deserving? Because those things exist, right? And if you're playing a victim, you're never going to find them. So I'll give you a shortcut here. If you want to be a victim, you will never be able to challenge your beliefs. If you want to be a victim, stop listening to this, because here's what's going to happen. And you're never going to be able to reframe those thoughts. You're never going to be able to replace those ideas. You're never going to step into the empowering belief systems that can change your life. Because without those empowering and without those empowering belief systems, you're not going to take the appropriate action and you're just going to keep repeating the behavioral patterns that you have now based on the belief systems that you have in place that have led you to this moment. And so it's do you really want that life? And I know what you're saying dude, it's been so hard. Nobody believes in me. Okay, great. I get it. Get it. What do you want? Do you want me to cuddle you and tell you it's okay? You're going to have to believe in yourself. You're going to have to pull the reality that you want into the moment and believe in yourself.

And it's hard, and it's uncomfortable, and it might even feel fraudulent. But we all have supporting evidence somewhere in our journey that says that we are capable. And that's the thing that you have to leverage. You have to leverage the reality that you are a capable human. That you are deserving human, that you are a worthy human. Now, here's what's hard about that. That evidence that you're seeking to create that space only comes through acknowledging the things that you've actually done. If you go seeking belief and evidence for things you have never done, that's called delusion and it's not going to work. And in fact, you're probably going to beat yourself up because you've been lying. And so in order to find the belief that you need, Start with the things you've accomplished. I know many of you because you've reached out over the years and I know that many of you have walked down the path of this healing journey and you've done great things. You might still not be where you want to be, but you've done great things that have led to this moment and that's beautiful and that's admirable. And so in that, what you have to take from it is understanding that if you leverage those truths, not lies, not bullshits, not what ifs, not if probablys, not I thought abouts, but if you leverage what you've actually done, that's how you start to build confidence and self-esteem. And with confidence and self-esteem, you can change the narrative you have around the idea about who you are and what you believe. You are worthy, you are deserving, you are capable. I believe that for all of us. That's my belief. But, if you don't show up and you try to believe that shit, It ain't going to work because you're going to be lying to yourself and you're going to be in the same predicament you're in right now. And you're going to have to challenge yourself because there's new levels to this game, right? You might have been listening to this podcast for a month or a year or five years. I don't know. But what I will tell you is there's levels. There's levels in my life. There's levels in the people I coach life. There's levels in your life that you're going to have to step into to actually excel. And go to where you're capable of going and what you know has brought you to where you are and in order to shift to where you want to go, you're going to have to take all those concepts about what you know or what you think you know about yourself and flip them on your head, flip them on their head and then extrapolate the data from those that support that you're a capable human, that you're deserving human, that you are human, that can be love. And that's all evidence based. Here's where it gets hard because people get stuck in there. So like I hear you, maybe I have a husband or a wife and maybe I have kids, maybe I have a good job, maybe I'm in good health, but I still don't believe. A lot of that is the indoctrination of your childhood. You're trapped in the past. You are simply stuck in the ideals and in the enmeshments and in the grooming that has led you to this moment to believe that you are not enough or that you are less than. And the only way that you get that out of your life is you have to choose, this is an actual decision-making process. You have to choose to believe in yourself because damn it if you don't believe in yourself No one is going to and it starts with you and even though you have all of these Negative ideas about who you are planted and cemented in your head and your mind and your psyche and your subconscious You have to with your current awareness Come to the reality and the truth that you are more than that, because trust me, fuck, this is so crazy. Like when I was 25, and it was 350 pounds smoking, drinking, partying, cheating, lying, stealing, hurting all of the worst things that are part of my story. I never imagined this moment. I never imagined millions of downloads of this podcast. I never imagined selling books. I never imagined coaching people, traveling the world, speaking, getting invited to do all the never. Wasn't in the cards. The only belief that I had was that things could be different and I just started looking for the evidence that supported that because we have to find the contradictory evidence to support what we want because the evidence in front of us may be, dude, you suck. That was the evidence of dude, you're fucking an asshole, you suck. That was my evidence. That was all from trauma. That was, of course I understand the role that I played, but I'd been set up for failure. Many of you have been set up for failure. And so to flip that on its head is going to require you to be courageous, right? So, I think about in terms of the unbroken, the think unbroken values as not only a brand, but as me as a human being because I'm so tied to this thing. Courage, love, strength, honor. That's the path. Like it's for some of you who don't have values because you haven't had the space to really pull that out of yourself, use mine. Take them, leverage them, put them into your life. Because if you're operating with courage, love, strength and honor. There's no way you won't believe in yourself. I'm telling you there's no fucking way if you are making decisions in your life through that value system greatness is so close to you and so I'll leave you with this. In front of you is opportunity, but the thing that's keeping you anchored to the past is your fear. And more people are afraid of success than they are of failure. Because success requires a new belief system. Success requires a new identity. Success requires that you get out of your comfort zone, which means not being who you are to become who you are capable of being. Success means asking for help, getting a coach, coming to events and conferences. Success means starting with you. And what's so hard about that and where people. Always get trapped in this is because the start for them was that they don't matter and you've got to throw that out the window or you're never, and this ‘cause I know it to be true. If you do not throw that belief out the window and recognize that your belief is the only thing that matters, you are never going to overcome this journey and I don't give a fuck what any therapist says. I don't care what any other coach says. I don't care what any book says. If you do not believe in yourself, nothing will be different.

So find the evidence, find the reasons that your current belief systems can be erased, throw the bullshit out the window and be unbroken, my friends.