Healing Trauma: The Power of Doing It Scared with CPTSD

You know, one of the things that's so really interesting to me in this journey is that a huge factor in whether or not things actually change in your life is that you have to do things scared. And I don't mean scared as in necessarily like fear for your life or death or that something absolutely terrible will happen, but I mean scared as in like having the willingness to face that thing inside of you that keeps you stuck. And doing things scared like, I think about this in terms of my day-to-day life. Like there are always things that I'm worried about like financial investments in my personal development into my coaching, into my team, having to get on airplanes all the time, traveling, speaking events, being on stages, writing books, coaching the community, and I think about when I rewind so much of my life. And for so many people, there's always that element of fear in all of the things that we do in part because it's a human survival mechanism to be able to measure fear. And I think the other big part of it is a lot of it is ingrained in us from a really young age to be scared. Are you getting this? Like, does this make sense to you? And the reason I'm asking you that is because if the only thing you ever know is fear and being afraid, then you will only ever operate in that state. Right?

One of the things that I feel in my life that, and this is just the way I choose to operate and put pressure on myself to see how far I can go? What can I do? What can I build? What can I create? That's where an Unbroken Con comes into play. So, we're a month away, 30 days, which is incredible. We have over a thousand people registered. We have 10 amazing speakers. We have four days of transformational, just coaching advice structure. You're gonna learn stuff that I only ever teach in my really high, high-end paid programs. And my estimation is as we get closer to the vent, we've got a couple of TV bookings we have to do. We've got a whole bunch of podcasts to show up on like I think we're gonna get 5,000 people registered for this event probably even 10,000, I don't know yet, we'll see what happens.

And I think to myself in building that, a little backstory on Unbroken Con is effectively what happened is I sat down one day and was looking at this opportunity, so someone reached out to me and they were like, Hey, we'll let you come and speak at this gig, but it's gonna cost you multiple five figures. And I was like, no, I don't wanna do that because I believe that we can invest that money into Unbroken and to build ads and to share this and to pay for big podcasts and you know, things like that. And so, that's effectively what I thought. And then somewhere, either that night or the next morning, I was like, why don't I just make my own gigantic conference? And that's when Unbroken Con came from. And so, within a week we launched the website. We had ads up and running. We got our speakers locked in, and you're seeing this transpire in real time. Last weekend we did our master class in the morning and in the afternoon, I went and spoke at one of Grant Cardone's events. And everything that I think about in life that leads you to the path of success is for those willing to face the fear that they have about the life that they want to create, they are the ones who will be successful, and being scared is a part of the game. Like no matter what you do, no matter where you go, no matter what happens in your life, there's always going to be something to be afraid. Now, will you challenge that fear and have the willingness to step into it, or will you run from it? Because here's what's really interesting, the idea about Unbroken Con may not have ever happened unless I had the willingness to say no to what was a really substantial opportunity, and instead say, I'm going to see what happens if I try. And then two, being willing to create the event, ask my friends to help me, and then tell everyone on freaking planet Earth that we're doing it. And I've had a couple of people ask me like, why would you wanna make such a big event? Why do you wanna have thousands of people? Why are you putting in all this effort and energy? And what it ultimately comes down to is, I know this, that we have the ability to change the world and end generational trauma through education, and that's why it's free. Is there paid stuff? Of course. There's always gotta be paid stuff. We have to pay the team. We have to pay for a bazillion dollars for zoom, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? But for people who can't afford it, it's free. And for people who are just like, I've never heard of this guy, I don't know what he's about. I'm like, all right, cool. It's free. Show up. See what we're about. See what we do at Think Unbroken. See why some of the greatest minds and human beings on planet Earth. Trust me. Like I'm willing to put my name on the line for this. And in that, what I understand about really just people is until we receive value, we don't give value. Right? I mean, I understand that through and through.

And so, I was thinking about when I was younger and really having to do whatever it took to survive. I remember one time, so my grandmother was in a coma and my little brother and I are living in a house by ourselves. And we are as broke as broke can be. We have no money coming in, the rent is getting paid from like my grandma's social security, but that's it like there was no food in the house. He's working this job. I'm working a job. We're trying to make things work in some capacity just surviving together when we weren't like beating the crap out of each other ‘cuz that's what 16- and 17-year-old boys do, not all, but that's what we did. And I remember one time we were literally digging through our couch, searching every crevice of the house, pulling up mattresses, going into nooks and crannies, everything we could to find money to buy a pizza. Now, obviously we're kids, we don't know go to the grocery store, stuff like that at least we didn't think about it anyway, I should say we did go to a grocery store a couple of times, but I was like, we were like, let's just get a pizza. And we couldn't afford the 10 bucks for it ‘cuz this is back when pizza was like 10 bucks. And I remember just being like, Damn, this is really hard. This really sucks. Like this is terrible that he and I are in this situation that my family's in this situation. And it was like, Man, we gotta figure this out. And there were some opportunities that laid in front of me and I was just like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna run with it. And anyway, long story short, really the crux of this is this. When you don't think it's the right time, that's the right time. When you're afraid, that's when you should do it. When you are in this position and you don't have money and someone offers something to you that could change your life, you might want to take it seriously, and that's what Unbroken Con is. And I'd be lying if I said I don't have some fear in putting together the biggest event I've ever done. Now I've spoken at giant events in front of 6,000 people, 8,000 people, 10,000 people, but I've never had thousands on my own. And so, I'm looking at am I prepared? Have I done all the things? Do I have the right people in place? Are all the check boxes checked? Are all the event things put together that can exist? Do I have everything ready to go? And 30 days to go, I should say, the answer is no. What I know about this and people who have been in my master classes, people who I've coached, people that we've worked with, I am a 100% believer in the idea of pull the parachute as you're falling because if you don't pull the parachute as you're falling, then that means you never took the leap. It means you never tried.

And so, I am willing to see what happens on the way down. And here's the hard part, like I don't wanna be like glass half full guy here. I mean, I definitely want to try to be optimistic about success and being a realist of looking at possibility of those who've come before me. But I'll tell you with massive certainty, there is a potential, I would call it a small potential because of the effort I've put in that there is a potential that this could totally crash and burn and be the worst investment of my time, effort, energy, and money in my life. But it could also be the greatest and it could transform the lives of thousands of people. And it could be the beginning of the ball rolling, of watching the world in the way that I want it to change to change at scale.

And so, there's these decisions that we have to make as individuals. Like, what are you willing to do? Like, are you willing to face the part of you that is terrified when you have to write the check, when you have to go to the event, when you have to leave the relationship, or ask the person out or quit the job or whatever like all that stuff, right? Why is this so important? Because if you do things when you are scared, you are training your brain and allowing yourself the space to recognize that not everything has to be life or death. Like, are you getting this? Would this change your life if you change your thought process? If you said, the things that scare me won't actually kill me, generally speaking, right? I mean like, don't go and hang out in a pit full of vipers, that's probably not gonna work out too well for you. But you know if you can change your thought process around what it is that scares you, that puts you in control.

Ask yourself this question like, would it change my life if I did things scared? Would it change my life if I did things when I was uncertain, but I had a belief that it would make my life better? Because you're gonna fall down and if you can come back stronger, that's where you win. You're one of my absolute favorite Kobe Bryant quotes, and it may not be him, but he said it and he's the person I remember saying it. He goes, Man, if you see me in a fight with a bear, be concerned about the bear. And that may not be his quote, I don't remember, but I remember in his voice, and I think about that in terms of when we get knocked down, when we have failure, when we get stuck, it's like, come back, you can come back. You can come back stronger. You can come back harder. You can come back in a way were also, here's what's really fascinating.

When you do things scared and you fail, you learn. And when you learn, you come back stronger. And when you come back stronger, you have a higher likelihood of success.

And that's the thing about this journey. Most people are very scared of the idea that they can be successful and I'm always trying to push to you on Unbroken Nation and myself into finding what that looks like to be on the threshold of the possibility of massive success. And have the willingness to jump into it just to see what happens. And success is different for everybody, which I think requires clarity. Like my success for me is not the same as a success for you. For me, success is like, do I want to be on the biggest stages in the world? Yes. Do I want to be a New York Times bestselling author? Yes. Do I want to have the biggest podcast for mental health on planet earth? Yes. Do I want to interview the greatest minds who walk the face of the planet? Yes. Do I wanna have an amazing relationship and finances and emotional state and a body? Yes, I want all that stuff. Right? And for other people, success is gonna be massively and vastly different. Right? And your success in my success do not have to be the same thing. But neither of us are going to get there without the willingness to do things when we're scared.

And that's my hope, and that's why I'm sharing this little bit of insider information on Unbroken Con because yeah, there are moments I'm scared, there's moments where I'm like, what the hell am I doing? There's moments where I'm like, Oh my God, this is so many people. And then I just go, this is the game plan. Let's see what happens. Let's do it anyway. And let's do it again and do it again and do it again and again. And know that there is a potential that I'm gonna learn a lot. I've already learned a lot in doing it actually like honestly, if I go, I look at so much of what has transpired in the last month leading up to today, it's unbelievable. So, I wrote the countdown on my whiteboard it says 62 days that was the starting point now we're at 30 days. I wrote 62, it's still there ‘cuz that was the starting point now 32 days ago. So, now we're 30 days away. So, the note was 62 days that's where we started that was the timeline to the event. And in the last 32 days, I have learned more about what it means to really cultivate and create something out of nothing than I probably have in anything I've ever done between the books and the podcast and the speaking, I don't think I've learned or worked harder in such a short period of time than I have for Unbroken Con because I am more afraid of it not working than I am of it working, which I always push to you guys and I talk about more people are afraid of failure than success. What you do with that fear is what matters. And since I'm driven by this idea of like, I do not want to fail on my own stage in front of thousands and thousands of human beings. I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure it's successful. I'm gonna pick the right speakers, I'm gonna pick the right educators. I'm going to pick as much as I can, all of the little nuances and intricacies that it takes to try to make this successful. And I promise you there's gonna be screw ups. I guarantee it. Like I'm foreseeing the reality of, I don't know what I don't. And so, when those come, I'm going to look at them and I'm go, perfect. Now I know what not to do next time, but if I don't make the decision this time, there can be no next time. And that applies to everything that we do in life.

We have to be willing to step into the unknown step into the fear, and step into this place in our life where if we are faced with potential, and it might be scary that we do it anyway because again, my friends change only happens when we make change happen.

If you haven't yet registered, sign up at unbrokencon.com. It is absolutely free to attend and watch live. If you want the recordings, there's an offer there on the page where you can grab and keep those for life. If you would, please leave a review for the podcast. Help other people find this show if it has all been beneficial for you in your life.

Here's how I look at this, and I'm gonna push you a little bit here.

If this has changed your life in any capacity, even with just one idea, you owe it to someone to share this and to leave a review because that may happen for them and we are ending the cycle of trauma when we do that together.

So, with that said, my friends.

I appreciate you. Thank you so much for being here.

And Until Next Time.

Be Unbroken.

I'll see ya.