E237: How a coach or mentor will change your life | Trauma Healing Coach

Have you ever thought to yourself that you would love to get a mentor or a coach, but you're not really sure how to do that or what that looks like or the impact that it would have on your life? I have definitely been there.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with you with another episode.

Over the course of the last few years really, probably the last ten. I have found myself just completely enamored with the idea that if someone has done it, that I can do it too. And that idea has carried a tremendous amount of weight in my life, it has helped me understand things in ways that I never have but most importantly it's helped me understand one really interesting truth about the Human Experience and that is that we all need someone who is just one step in front of us.

I have had the incredibly fortunate experience of being able to be coached personally by Grant Cardone, Tom Bilyeu and Tony Robbins three of who I would arguable I would argue at are some of the most important people in personal development, right now, maybe even ever and I will tell you this; this is not how it began.

When I first started getting into personal development I will never forget this. I remember sitting on my computer, watching a YouTube video and Tony Robbins popped up and I was like fuck this guy and it was because I didn't really truly understand what he was about, I didn't understand personal development, I had not yet put myself in this position of trying to leverage and understand how to be the best version of myself.

And so, in that over time, what started to happen, as I kept consuming more information, I kept reading more books, you know, I remember the first time I read, Think And Grow Rich, I didn't necessarily love it, but it still planted some ideas. And I started getting into personal development working for a corporation where I became Franklin Covey certified and I was on the path of the Sigma 6 black belt, which is I think nonsensical but as something that I was doing and I'm had made this decision and my journey that I needed to have a coach, I needed to have somebody that I could use as not only a springboard but as someone who be beneficial in my life and helping me navigate and understand the reality that I was living in and that I do live in.

And so, I sat down one day and I started just Googling life coaches and I came across some really incredible people and I came across some really shitty people, not gonna lie. Some people are out here just like fucking stealing money from people. I've actually had that experience, I won't say names because it just doesn't matter but I've invested with people who totally let me down and unfortunately, fortunately and I always precursor this unfortunately, that's a part of this experience, that's why everyone who comes into coaching with me knows whether you buy a book or a program or whatever it is that you do with Think Unbroken, you will always 100% get your money back if you are not happy. And that is because I've been screwed over and I don't like it and I'm refuse to do that to my clients and thousands of people have gone through my programs. And because of that, I think about this, when I sat down, I was like, okay, cool, let me go find this person, I was asking myself some important questions in that first question was like, what do I actually want? And I knew that I wanted to be coached by somebody who was like a straight shooter, who kept it real, who was aggressive, who could keep up with me, also I wanted them to be more intelligent than me like vastly like I want to if I'm a fucking 75 IQ I want them be 120 because I don't learn well unless somebody challenges me mentally which is something I've discovered over the years, which I know is kind of an odd thing to hear, but it's true unless I'm challenged mentally, I cannot wrap my head around breaking through whatever is in front of me.

And so I said myself, okay, I need all these things, let me go and find it and much like I've shared with you about how I found my therapist before, it was me getting on calls with these people, getting a checklist, writing down names, going through it, having a conversation and trying to figure out, okay, what are crossovers? Where are we similar? Where we different? Where can they better my life? Where might they take away from my life, which I think is a really important key to take into consideration and most importantly, what are their proprietary processes that they've created?

One of the things that kind of irks me about this industry is a lot of people are not going in creating their own stuff, we're all informed by each other, I don't want you to get this twisted, I've told you to journal, everyone's told you to journal, like, we're all going to do that, but there is proprietary thing has meaning things that are exclusive to Think Unbroken that when I sat down and I took weeks and months of creating curriculum and writing books and stuff like that, it was me telling not only stories, but bringing ideas of about what I thought about the world to this place in which I thought would be both practical and beneficial for the Unbroken Nation, right?

You guys weren't called that back then but you know, it was like, okay, how do I help people? And so as I got deep into it, I was asking these questions, I just kept kind of like can people often relying on? No, no, no, no. And I made a mistake early on in coaching and I invested five figures with a guy who really left me high and dry and the truth is like it's a sore taste in my mouth, even to this day, but I let go of it because I let go of 98% of it because the reason, why is I recognize, oh my God, this is actually a lesson, there's something to be taken from this, there's something I'm learning from this, I'm learning to ask better questions because if I would have known the right question to ask that wouldn't have happened. And that was this really cool moment because it made me think very closely about who I wanted to get involved with.

And what I had the opportunity to get involved with Tony and Tom and Grant it was like, okay cool, what does that mean? And you've guys have heard me talk about this acronym TEEM before Time, Effort, Energy, Money, chances are you going to have to that's one but you're probably going to have to invest all four, I invested all four of those even most recently cut a huge check for Grant Cardone to go through one of his programs. And look, I get it, some people don't like him whatever but what he teaches is incredibly practical and that's why I love the guy. Same thing for Tom, I just went through, Tom Bilyeu, use business decision, making workshop, and that was a lot of money and literally it just changes the way that I think about making decisions, I can't explain, I'm still like soaking it in but the biggest thing that I've taken away from that is understanding that the decisions that we make shape our lives and to not make decisions immediately will slow you down in ways that you don't yet understand. And I have always been that guy who's like on the fence about everything.

For a vast majority of my life, I was the guy who was always indecisive and on the fence about everything, I'm the last guy you want to ask where to eat, the last guy who orders on the menu, because like, think about this, when you grow up in trauma, you're not given the space to decide and so it's a learned skill.

And so going through that decision making workshop, became this really beautiful experience for me because I started thinking about, oh, holy shit, I can actually decide it even faster than I used to, because I thought I was getting really good at making decisions and then it got even better like I can't even tell I move like this now, it's nuts.

Sometimes my team is like, dude, you gotta slow down, we can't keep up with you and I'm like, good that's what I want, we gotta decide and move quickly. And in that, looking at the way that this is impacted and changed my life, is a trickle-down effect to the people that I coach, this is the coolest part because I'm coached from these people, I get to take their information in their experience and I get a give it to you, that is the coolest thing about coaching. You don't have to pay the same money. You don't have to have the same time. You don't have to have the same energy. You don't have to have the same anything and you can reap the benefit of it when you go through coaching programs with me.

Think about this, they all got coached by people to, they have the same experience.

One of the big goals that I have for Think Unbroken, probably in the next five years just based on time and understanding what it takes to do it is to create first certification in Think Unbroken Trauma Coaching like that is down the road that is down the path for this because I recognize, like, if I can give people the tools that I have developed that I've seen change their life, then if they can give that some more people, that moves me closer to my goal of ending generational trauma in my lifetime.

So the thing that I always think about is coaching is so practical and important because not only do you get a shave off time, but you got to shave off money and you get to learn from other people's mistakes like that is one of the greatest things that I've been able to discover as being someone who's super coachable, and also I execute immediately on what they tell me.

I'll give you a perfect example…

A month ago might have been two months ago, I was in coaching with Tom and he goes, you need to read Arnold Schwarzenegger's book Total Recall.

I was like done, I read it in like six days, it is a long, long long book, but here's the thing. When you learn stuff on this show, when you're going through this with me, when you're coming into Think Unbroken, when you're listening to the podcast, reading the books, going through the coaching courses, you what you have to do if you want to be successful is you have to be able to execute immediately and what I mean by that is the moment that you learn something, you need to bring it into practice. Do not delay. And the reason why is because you have to find out whether or not that thing will work for you because if I know one thing about this like I'll give you a great example, there are things that for instance, Grant talks about that I do not align with in any capacity, and so I just know inherently, like they're not going to work for me. But if there's a thing that pops up and I'm like, oh that makes so much sense to me, I will implement that into my life, my business, my friendships, whatever immediately because if somebody else has done it and they know that it works and I feel alignment with it, that makes sense. And so that's the thing I want you to think about as you're listening these shows and we've had amazing guests on Think Unbroken Podcast, these people are my mentors to. Part of being able to sit across from them is for me to learn right?

Ask these really interesting questions, grow. And so if you can do that as well, it's going to pay huge dividends in your life.

So think about this when you're in this place and you're like, do I need a coach, the answers probably yes. If you're in this place where you're like, I want to have a coach, but I don't know where to find it, if the answer is yes, but how do I do it, right?

And so that's part of this journey and the reason why I created the coaching app for Think Unbroken, you can download the app for free.

If you just search for Think Unbroken in the Apple store or also Android, but you can take the six-week program if you go to coaching.thinkunbroken.com

And that's like a taste as the entry of what it's like to come into one of these programs with me. And so what I want you to understand about this is.

This is very simple; here's how I view coaching, here's how I view, why I do it and why I have a mentor and how to find one, it's all based on this.

Who do I want to be tomorrow?

That's the question I always ask, like, who do I want to be tomorrow?

And if that person that I want to be tomorrow as an alignment with the person that I need to learn from who's a step in front of me, I will always find a way. And you have to commit, you got to be willing to show up and you have to be willing to invest, that time effort, energy or money because if you don't, your life is not going to be different.

And I will tell you, I can go back in time I really mean this, if I did have a time machine, I would have hired a coach before I hired a therapist. I've said that on this show before I'm saying it again and I believe in that it's not that I would not also still have a therapist because I promised you I would and I still do but I would have went with a coach first, just so I could have got myself out of the rut because I think I probably was spinning my wheels for like two years in therapy when I could have just been like, coaching and moving forward. So just food for thought as we wrap up for the day.

I want to say thank you guys so much for being here, for leaving reviews, for being a part of the Community, we're going to be launching our Think Unbroken Discord very soon, it exists right now, if you go to Discord and you look up thinking broken, it's not active, but it will be very soon.

So I'm very excited to have you guys in here to be a part of this.

Thank you for being a part of the community.

Unbroken Nation it means the world to me.

Thank you for showing up.

Thank you for being a part of my mission to end generational trauma.

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And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.