E305: Speaking Your Truth | Mental Health Coach

The truth will set you free.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. As you may know if you follow me on the social, I was in New York City last week speaking in front of some incredible, incredible human beings and at one point I got a text from friend and he was like, hey you should probably go to Time Square because the event host have put up a billboard board with your picture on it and it was like, holy shit, seriously? And so, I was down in Chelsea, like just walking around having some me time and I dart it literally to the subway, it's funny because I literally ran because it's was like, oh, my god, I gotta get there and so, I get on the train, I get to Time Square, I'm sitting there and I think when I looked at clock I must have just missed it because I had come to find out it played like at two after the hour and was like five after the hour when I got there and so for the next hour, I just sat there just staring at this screen, I didn't know what time it was gonna come on.

I just sat there watching and as I sat there, I was reflecting and thinking about this journey, the chaos really in a sense that has led me to where I am today. Now you guys know my backstory story so, I won't go into the depth of that but you're coming from a background and a childhood in which the most dangerous thing that I could do would be to speak my truth. As I sat on the bench there in Times Square like, looking at all the people just the speed and the movement and the sounds and the lights I thought to myself it's my truth that has brought me here, it is speaking it in the willingness to step into it that is effectively set me free and allowed me to be in a position to become who I am today. And in thinking that like, I felt, like even right now I'm getting goosebumps, thinking about it because it was such an emotional experience to sit there and be like wait a second, I'm about to be on a billboard in Times Square, New York City ultimately probably one of the most famous destinations on planet earth. And then, on Thursday, I'm going to speak in front of hundreds of people about Think Unbroken in this journey of becoming the hero of your own story, healing, letting go of the past and stepping into what's next in your life. I'm gonna get a talk about the coaching programs, I gotta talk about the books, I gotta do all these things but ultimately what I get to do is share my truth and it was profound because for a long time I hit from it.

I think, I've shared this one time on this show, I'm gonna share it again, I used to have this insane reoccurring nightmare as a kid and when I say recurring, I mean every day for fifteen years I had this nightmare, I was in this log cabin with my mother and we went to a store that was also in a log cabin and there's all these people and Freddy Krueger came there's is a graphic just say you know Freddy Krueger came from nightmare elm street with the knives for fingers and he started murdering my mom right there in the grocery store at the checkout while people were bagging and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody is paying attention, nobody cares and I had that nightmare forever.

And one day I was watching this movie and I don't remember what the movie was but they said, if you talk about your nightmares they lose their power and so, I think a couple days later, I'm in therapy, I start sharing it, I shared it again, I shared to again shared again and what happened was that after doing that multiple times it lost its power like, I took the energy back from that nightmare, that traumatic experience and I haven't had that nightmare like six or seven years now. And what I was thinking about is this idea we all have this darkness that we've experienced, we all have this pain the suffering and is a part of our journey whether we like it or not and if you're like me, you don't like it but it's a part of it. And there is something unbelievably powerful about the decision that we make to openly share that darkness because when you bring darkness to light it can no longer be dark. Now of course and I've said this before I think there's a very safe way to do this, that's in the scope of therapy or coaching or mentorship or counseling or anonymous groups or whatever those are. I don't think that the most appropriate places to dump your life on the social media and look everybody's gotta figure out their own thing but the point in saying this is that I do genuinely with my heart believe that there is validity in addressing your truth and bringing all of the darkness about your experience to light and it's scary and it's uncomfortable and it's not something that like, even myself in the beginning of this journey it was so hard for me to tell the truth in therapy because I was scared I was gonna be judge, I was scared I was gonna be shame and I was scared that I was gonna have my therapist look at me and be like, oh, we can't help you, you're fucked because that's how I felt, because of how dark it is and if you think about this if you go you listen to like, my origin story you listen to the background of who I am or the show, I mean, I'm really only telling you about half of one percent of my journey. There are things that I will never tell on this show, that will never see the light today. Now I've reserved that conversation for therapy or for group or whatever that is that I need to be and but that level of darkness here's what I think about that level of darkness some of the shit that happened me, I'm like that doesn't actually make people's lives better to share. And so, I gave you the elevator pitch, yes, I realize it's not as in as it could be but I don't want people to be consumed by how dark my past is. But let me tell you this, the weight of my past; those past experiences and the pain of that all I don't have to carry any more like, there is truly a sense of freedom, there is truly a sense of letting go that has come along with the depth of therapy and group and coaching and in the whole nine that's led me here and that doesn't mean of course that I don't have hard days. But I want you to think about this, there's something right now that you're harboring from your past, that you think about all the time that you think about probably every day, if you're in way like I used to be and that thought that thing that you are thinking about, the feeling, the emotion that carries is impeding your ability to go to what's next in your life. And I know that's a hard pill to swallow because we don't want that to be the truth, we don't want our truth to be that, we're stuck because of the past, I get it, I don't either, I don't want my true to be that. And so, how do you navigate showing up and doing the work every day? How do you go to therapy? How do you go to coaching or group but not share your reality, not share your truth?

And so, many of us are like that because we feel like, well maybe it's too much, maybe I've shared too much, maybe it's too heavy, maybe people won't get it but I'll tell you this and I've said this before, I've never met anyone that had a worse childhood been me and it's not a fucking competition but what I will say is when I gotten the depths of sharing the massive blackness of the darkness of those past experiences, the things that I'll never share on this show that changed everything for me because it was like, I didn't have to carry that weight anymore.

I've used this reference before but imagine for a moment I gave you a backpack and that backpack was full of bricks and you had to carry that backpack with you everywhere that you went, everywhere that you went because you were unwilling to let go and it just weighs on you and weighs on, you brings you down, it keeps you stuck, you can't go forward there's no momentum, that's how I think about the traumatic experience of our past when we don't share them.

And again, I really wanna reiterate this it's about sharing it in the right capacity, right? Don't dump your fucking life on social media because it's not going to help, because you're not gonna be able to get the other side of it where you can make causation and correlation about the events where you can start to learn the rhyme and reason and the how and why you have the behavioral patterns that you have and so on and more so how you get out of them, right?

One of the things when people come into coaching with me.

We talk about reframing behaviors, idea, understanding and all those things and so, as you get into this what I want you to do is I want you to think about what is it that you have been holding onto that you need to step into a safe environment to expose so that the darkness of it no longer has to encapsulate you in a way that keeps you from being able to move forward, that's the trick to this. And so, as I'm like in New York, I'm sitting there, I'm thinking looking at again the sights and sounds of people the speed of it, I love it, I'm obsessed with it. And it hit me, I was like, there's no way on planet earth that I would be able to have helped thousands of people to have this amazing podcast, to written these books, to speak on these stages if I never would have shared my truth, if I never would have done the things that I'm talking about being a proponent of right now because I was stuck so badly, I cannot explain it like every day was misery, it was horror.

Here's what's really funny, I had to submit some documentation to the the IRS from a tax return from twenty eleven and I looked at that and so that's eleven years ago, right? And so, I'm like twenty four and I had cleared six figures and I remember like, as I'm looking at that I was like, oh my god, my life is so much different now because of the truth that I've shared than it was in 2011, like this what hit me was the beginning like this was the moment that everything was about a change, right there in that year two thousand ten, eleven, twelve it was that section of years that created the pathway for me to come to where I am because like, looking at that what I used to do with that money was things that destroyed my life that's intense but it's true. Every penny that I spent was one penny destroying my life and today it's very much the opposite, it's investing in myself, it's the therapy, it's the coaching, it's the whole nine you guys know this because I've told you before. And so, looking up the difference a decade can make as unbelievable, people get so lost in what they can do over the course of a long enough time frame that they don't have any willingness to show up. And so, I want to encourage you to show up, to do the thing, to let your truth being known to set yourself free because in a decade you could be having a completely, completely different story and I want that for you and I want that for the Unbroken Nation, I want that for everybody because then we can move further and closer to my mission and my goal of ending generational trauma and my lifetime.

So, sitting here on this bench, looking experiencing this it really everything ties back, it's a road map, right? There are these markers I can go and look at all the things that happened in my life but led to speaking in New York City, being on a billboard and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, coming back to a decision. That moment in the mirror and me coming to terms with the truth that I was destroying my own life but I was not doing the thing I needed to do because I was holding that stuckness was because I was holding so tightly to the past, to the limiting beliefs, to what everyone else told me that I could be and because of that I was unable to move forward and it wasn't until I made the decision to show up in my truth through a massive amount of vulnerability, let's be clear about that and it was terrifying. But it started with walking in the door and being like, I cannot do this anymore, I want a different life and my hope is that you'll find the ability to trust yourself enough to speak your truth, knowing that on the backside of it everything in your life can be different. And again, there's a lot of ways to do this, I don't think social media is the way, I think you need to go and find the right space for you but I'll tell you this and I know this to be true because of my own experience, “if you're willing to step into your truth, if you're willing to step into speaking your truth, you're willing to walk through the darkness on the other side there will be light” my friends.

Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening means the world to me.

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And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll see you.