E318: How to be happy and manifest the life you want with David Meltzer | Mental Health Coach

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. I’m very excited to back with you with another episode with my friend David Meltzer. My friend, how are you? What is happening in your world?

David: I am phenomenal better than ever and I am still just on my mission surrounding myself with the right people the right ideas like you Michael to empower people, to be happy, to help them make money help people have fun and they're doing interfere with their self or greater selves or higher selves.

Michael: I love that and actually that's exactly where gonna jump off on. Why is happiness so important you? And the reason I asked you this question is because so many people especially if they've been through traumatic experiences, if they've suffered if they've been through this thing that we call life man, they get lost, they get consumed in the darkness of the energy that is negative. Talk to me about the role of happiness in your life and why that actually matters so much?

David: I think, first the role happiness is defined differently with some people like to even attack me when I talk about happiness instead of joy or whatever else takes on the meaning for them. So, I think it's important to define happiness and the happiness is the idea of being passionate purposeful and profitable, to be able to make a lot of money, help a lot of people and have a lot of fun and everything that you do, to be able to enjoy the consistent every day, persistent output quit, pursuit of your potential. So, as I have defined happiness for myself it's not just a luxury, it's an essential it provides three things, it provides me the ability to control my mindset, to control my heart set the way I feel and to control my handset what I'm doing in order to empowering others to the same happiness as defined by me to help them live passionate, purposeful and profitable lives.

Michael: I love that you said as defined by you because so often we get caught up and this nomenclature that we have to live life as detriment and dictated by other people as opposed to what it is that we decide. One of the things I love about your story in your journey and I would love if you dive into the importance of this, is you talking about the custom jacket that your father had made you without pockets?

David: Yeah. So, my father and I had an estranged relationship to say the least he had left when I was five, he had lied to me when I was ten, he forgot my birthday and said he didn't believe in birthdays, I told him at ten years old I hated him, I never wanted to see him. And twenty years later, I'm now a multi-millionaire, married to my dream girl and he sends me my first birthday present in twenty years and I think to myself, I'm healing this relationship no matter as you know what our parents have done to us, we all want the approval to love in the relationship with our family, with our parents especially our moms and our dads. And so, I was extremely excited to see this what I assumed was a peace offering some sort of token of our new newborn need to see each other and I take out this jacket like you said it, I put it on, I went from complete joy bliss to hate rage, he had taken out all the pockets I felt like after all these years you're gonna send me a jacket and I can't wear to teach me some stupid lesson, right? Why would he punish me? So, I call him with hate in my mind and in my heart and I was like man, why are you punishing me? And he said, what are you talking about? And I got your gift, I get it, you got something to tell me, he's like, oh no, he said it's because I love you so much, I'm like then, why are you punching me I said, I want you to enjoy that jacket to remind you that money doesn't buy love happiness. I was like come on, man, he goes hang the jacket in the closet and remind you that you're just like me well, I lost my mind, I'm like just you're a liar, cheater, manipulator, over seller back so, I hate you, I'm not like you man, you're gonna end up me the richest man in the cemetery. David don't make the same mistakes as me please listen to me, I'm like after you hung up on him, I wasn't ready to hear what he was trying to teach me. Six years later my best friend and I had a similar altercation, I invited the masters. I'm now running the most notable sports agency in the world so, not only am I married to my dream girl, not only do I have three beautiful healthy daughters under eight years old, not only am my multi-millionaire, right? But now my best friend, I ask him to go the masters and he says, I don't wanna go, I said what are you talking about because I don't like, who you're hanging out with and what you're doing. I told him, I hated him, how dare you talk to me this way? I'm not doing what those guys are doing he said, David you can lie to me all you want but you're lying to yourself and you're gonna end up in a bad place and I don't wanna see it, I told him the same thing, I told my dad, how dare you, I hate you. Two weeks later that jacket would save my life, I came home five thirty in the morning, lied to my wife about going to the Grammy awards with a rapper name little John and she had told me I wasn't paying attention to the family, to my health and to our finances, I told her you know come on, I lied her, came on wasted five thirty in the morning she told me she was leaving, she told me she wasn't happy, she told me that I better take stock and who I was what I wanted to become, I lost my mind told her I hate you, how dare you, talk to me that way. Look around you, who do you think created all this? I took you from nothing and brought all this to you, I have dare you talk to me this way, I woke up even more upset, full hate in my heart. And as I'm sitting there thinking how I'm gonna steal her joy, her happiness, take her money because that was the God I was serving.

I just wanna remind everyone, I believe if you don't think you're serving a God, you just don't know what god you're serving and I was serving the wrong god and I realized that at that moment at my heart and mind and so filled to hate, I look over in my closet and there it was I could barely say without choking up because I still remember looking at that jacket and thinking myself then I don't hate my father, I don't hate my best friend and I certainly don’t hate my wife, I hated it myself, I would liar, cheater, manipulator, overs seller back end seller and I hated it myself. And so, I sat there and took stock in who I was and what I wanted to become and on a sixteen-year journey or practicing every day taking stock and who I am and what I wanna become and figuring out what I'm doing interfere with it, I keep progressing towards and pursuing and enjoying that pursuit of my potential.

Michael: Was there a reconciliation about yourself in that process?

David: This is something that you said to me earlier today on a different interview, nobody's ever asked me that question and I love it. I'm constantly reconciling myself, with myself but also with source. I'm reconciling myself as a resource, I'm reconciling my mindset, my heart said in my handset to align with what I want who I can help who help me and how best to get it done. I'm prioritizing the activities each day, reconciling with myself, knowing that my true self is one that is void of fear. And so, in order to reconcile myself I have to identify the fear the needs to be right separate, inferior, superior, anxious, angry, frustrated, depressed, resentful, guilty, all of these things worrying and complaining about that are creating interference between me and my better self, the self I want to reconcile with the higher self, the one that plateau and grows every day doesn't live his life like a tube, food in food out. That reconciliation with time and self is a constant journey and lesson every single day.

Michael: How do you navigate who and where you are today versus where you were knowing that and this is my belief that any moment through the decisions that we make we could very easily end up back where we were. So, how do you continue to show up every single day? Because I think so many people get stuck and caught in this idea man, my past is who I am, let this thing define me and because of that when I mess up, I'm just going to fall further down that rabbit hole. When it comes to mistakes and failures in this iterative process that we are in call life, how do you continue to go forward every single day? Because I want people to really hone into the truth of what it means for you to be able to be David today?

David: Yeah. Well, David today is the realistic David today, the David of yesterday of course has an energetic and genetic inheritance that's relative, by future is relative, today is real, today is the pragmatic man-made constructive of time. And so, what I do in order to reconcile that fear that energetic and genetic inheritance that I received will somehow rear its ugly head, is to identify those energetic and genetic inheritance, the fear, the setbacks, the mistakes to identify the needs of the ego that are need to be offended as an inherited by me, that need to be right as an area to the need to feel separate inferior and superior, sometimes all at once is a genetic and energetic heritage. So, what I do is practice identifying it so, I only spend minutes in moments in that past, in that inheritance and then what I do is not only practice identifying it but instead of trying to resist it and trying to go over it under it through it around it, lie do it, manipulated it, cheat it, stay in the denial of it, I simply stop when I identify it, I breathe through my nose, out my mouth until I get to center till I get to neutral. So, I get to my higher self and then I remind, remember and recollect with the great source I'm connected to and through reminding, remembering, reconnecting, to what I want, who I can help, who can help me and how best I can achieve it by prioritizing what's important to me of what, who and how and applying my why. I spend minutes and moments in that conscious competency, I spend minutes and moments in my genetic inherent, minutes and moments, not days, not weeks, not months and years in the past just minutes and moments every day trying to accelerate and enjoy the pursuit of my potential to plateau and grow every single day, learning the lessons from the mistakes, failures and setbacks, feeling as if I'm being promoted and protected now instead of punished.

Michael: Do you think it's possible to mitigate rock bottom in order to create change in your life?

David: Once again never been asked that. So, mitigating rock bottom, I believe that our skills and knowledge determine our bottom. So, people have different bottoms and I see this in sports all the time. Let's take Ryan Leaf who was one of my clients at Leigh Steinberg Sports. His bottom in the football is farther than my potential and so, you know everyone has bottoms that are indicated by their skills and their knowledge but it is our desire that determines our sealing our potential, it is our desire that determines that. So, if I'm going to mitigate the risk of my rock bottom it would be through the desires that I have in the recollection and recognition and acknowledgment of my skills and the development of those and my knowledge not only of what but of who. And so, when I could put my mind said hearts said answer said aligned with supplementary and synergistic with the skills and knowledge and then utilize desire to mitigate the risk of hitting rock bottom or actually experiencing rock bottom even though my rock bottom could be far beyond your potential, your height is irrelevant in that risk as well as relevant in its solution.

Michael: For those who are listening this and they're like, yeah, sure desire, great David, how do I find that. One of the things that I think is really fascinating is you're growing up going through traumatic experiences, finding myself in my own rock bottom and coming through it, I recognize that the only way that I was ever going to be living a fulfilling life was to do fulfilling thing. What role does desire play in helping you figure out fulfillment? Because I have found this huge desire to end generational trauma my lifetime but I will say this, it came through the rock bottom?

David: Yeah. I think when we have nothing to lose and we get that choice, that ex existential choice of hey, I only got one place to be other than this so, I got a choice so, I wanna make this happen or do I wait the other thing happen, you know, existence itself in fact that's what the one lesson of covid that I enjoyed with Deepak Chopra, we discussing that was the first time on earth that everybody had to take into consideration who human existence, everybody had some sort of existential experience of the fear least of that bottom of a choice, the ultimate choice to live or not to live. And to me, that's a bottom that we all have, that's the last part and when we make that decision and some people can make it without ever hitting that point other people like you and I think we're just maybe not as it light and we have to be forced into the choice. But once we make the choice and I see a lot of people who have been confronted with that choice have acceleration in their lives now, they have purpose and passion in their life, they have desire but I will tell you where desire comes from in my circumstance and where I see, I could help other people start the process of gaining desire and the greatest desire you can have the number one common denominator of the spirit of excellence or people who seem to have a lot of passion, purpose and profitability in their life is the desire that they must be what they can be. And understanding that to me is understanding who. I think the simple question of who can I help with what I want and who could help me, that one thing I think helps as a catalyst to desire that will we start exploring who we can help and who can help us, there's an inspiration, a confirmation of in spirit of being connected to and through each other and through source to become a greater resource by asking for help and also giving help an incredible way in order to start the process of pragmatic tool, to start the process of building desire.

Michael: Yeah. I think that's beautiful because there is a parlay here, right? And I feel so many people are afraid to ask for help, what advice would you give them?

David: I love that question and now would I get all the time because people ask me what would I tell my eighteen-year-old self, what's the best piece of advice I have and it's asked for help. I would tell my fifty-four-year-old self, if you asked me what would you tell yourself today the best piece of advice… we cannot get out of the zero-sum game, right?

So, what happens is somehow we think we ask for help that we're taking away or diminishing or dissolving the capacity of somebody else that we're hurting them, we have to realize we're living in a value-add game and the best thing we can do is make an investment in someone else by then making an investment in us making them feel extremely powerful and empowered by asking them for help. I would tell someone hey, lower the bar, ask someone for help every day either in person, on the phone, via email or media traditional or social media, I still look at my mailbox Michael every day, I look at my said box because I wanna count how often statistically am I asking for help because I know if my emails haven't asking it that I must be practicing it in the other aspects of being in person on the phone as well as the media side of things. So, please, lower the bar if you're not good at asking if you feel shame, guilt, if you feel bad about asking just start a practice of asking one time a day and watch what happens.

Michael: Yeah. I love that and even in real time in this conversation had I not ask you for help, we would not be having this conversation, right? My mission to end generational trauma, I need one of the smartest minds in the world to come on my show, to teach the audience, I reach out, you say, yes, you could have said no, right? It may have taken five years but I would continue to ask until we can do that because it is a parlay and it is support in this community and it is coming together for the betterment of each other that ultimately leads to that place. Before I ask you my last question because I wanna be very mindful of your time, my friend, where can everyone find you?

David: So, two ways email stated right there dmeltzer.com. I can give my book, my exercise, my guy free training, please reach up to me, I'm here to be of service of value, I'm blessed to have and live in abundance, I have plenty that I can give to help without any expense at all. So, dmeltzer.com and if you forget my email just search my name David Meltzer on every platform you'll find me, reach out, ask me, I will sign my book, I'll send it to you, I'll pay for shipping, I don't care, just reach out to me, I'm here to be of service value.

Michael: And I will say this Unbroken Nation, David is hands down, one of the most giving and thoughtful people of ever come across in my life and you've spoken highly into me and meetings and in person and sharing these platforms together for that I'm very thankful for you, my friend. My last question for you what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

David: To be kind. It's real simple. I get choked up still today, I know it's a simple idea if that's all I can teach people, when you live in radical humility, and kindness by doing good, by doing good to yourself and to others the simple idea of being kind, being kind your future self, by doing the deeds to yourself and to others. It is an extraordinary power and so for me it's simply kindness and I would much rather be kind than anything else, I'd rather to rather be known as kind than anything else and in my own tombstone or whatever they remember if all it said was kind, I would be fulfilled with my legacy being kindness.

Michael: Brilliantly said, my friend, thank you so much for being here. Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.

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