How To Deserve Love
In this episode, uncover the path to self-acceptance and healthy relationships in this transformative episode on overcoming self-sabotage and embracing love. We delve into the root causes of feeling undeserving... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/how-to-deserve-love/
In this episode, uncover the path to self-acceptance and healthy relationships in this transformative episode on overcoming self-sabotage and embracing love. We delve into the root causes of feeling undeserving, exploring how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and lead to self-destructive behaviors. Learn practical strategies to recognize these patterns and allow love into your life. Discover the crucial role of mindset in achieving self-actualization and personal growth. Whether you're struggling with relationship issues or seeking to boost your self-worth, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you break free from limiting beliefs. Join us on this empowering journey towards becoming unbroken and creating the fulfilling life and relationships you deserve.
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I recently had someone message me on Instagram and they asked me for some help. Now, obviously as a coach, that's what I do. And just a reminder, as we start the show, if you ever need support in this journey, just go to thinkunbroken.com. You can hop on a free coaching call with me literally at any time. So, if you just go to thinkunbroken.com or DM me on social I'm here to help you. So, here's what they messaged me. I'm actually going to read it to you. They don't know that I'm reading this. I need help. I don't deserve love and I'll, and I often feel like it's best for everyone if I just disappear and don't bother anyone.
How do I stop this? I think it starts with allowing. We as individuals have to allow ourselves to have love, to have abundance, to have joy, to have the human experience. What's so difficult about that is we live in these emotional spaces in which we will find the reason or justification in any capacity possible to not have the thing that we most desire in the world. I for one know that I have had that experience. There's been many times over the course of my life in which I have self-sabotaged where I have ruined relationships, where I have been the bad guy, where I have pushed people away the second that they walk through the door. If you think about it, if you grow up in a home in which love this idea of love, this feeling of love, the sensation of love. Is something that either had to be earned or could be taken away. We tie our worth to love. Oh my gosh. If I am not a good person or a good boy or a good girl. If I make a mistake. If someone chooses to, they could take love away from me. And then what happens. Is that as an adult, because that is our emotional home, that is the thing that we're tied to, this idea that love is something to be deserved and not something that just simply is, that we allow, we will find all of the reasons in the world to run away from it. We will push it down, we will hide from it, we will self-destruct, we will sabotage it, we will pick little fights, we will pick big fights, we will lie, we will cheat, we will steal, we will walk outside of our values and our character. We will do anything possible to make sure that our idea of self becomes a reality especially with love. And so what happens is we start to look at our life and we ask ourselves, why does this keep happening to me? How many times have you asked us that yourself? That question, why does this keep happening? Why does every relationship in this way? Why does everyone I date, why does this happen? The second we get serious, why is it that every single time that I start to open up, I get hurt. You are the common denominator. Whether you like it or not, I'm sorry. It's your fault. But, you are also the solution. Deservedness begins with what we think. I talk about this all the time, that mindset is everything. So in this message, I don't deserve love and it's best for everyone if I disappear. How do you know it's best for everyone? How dare you make the assumption that you know what is best for everyone? How narcissistic are you? You're really going to tell me you know what's best for everybody? You're God? You're the universe? You're spirit, mother, like you know what's best? Okay, I don't believe you. And more how dare you be so egomaniacal to believe that somehow the world is better without you. I get it. I get it. You guys know I get it. I'm the guy who attempted to take his life when he was young. That's just real. And so the feeling about deservedness. It's going to begin with the way that we think, so I talk about this a lot, like mindset plus action equals self-actualization. Okay, mindset is this concept of what we think becomes what we speak become our actions become our reality. What we think, inevitably, always comes true. If you think, I'm not good enough, I don't deserve, you will subconsciously plant a framework and game plan that you pull into reality of doing things that someone does who feels undeserving. Sabotaging, getting in the way, fighting, picking fights, fighting, finding reasons why it can't work. And then eventually on a long enough timeline, you're tied to this notion that you don't deserve love. And because you don't deserve it, you sabotage it. And because you sabotage it, it happens to you every single time. And it's always everyone else's fault, until you stop. Until you make a decision, very simply, that looks like this. I will allow myself to be loved by the people that love me. Thank you. It's so uncomfortable. I get it. But it's the only way you're going to get what you want in life. Which is love. That's the thing we all want. love. We want connection. We want the human experience. We want to feel protected and promoted. We want the experiences that come along with the thing you see when the you're watching the real on Instagram and it's the couple at Disneyland and they're like getting married and you're like, wow, I want that. Or the love that you see where the couple is in their seventies and they're sitting in the park reading the book and they're like, Oh my gosh, I want this. Then it's the love that you feel when you're at the bedside of the person who is dying and they're holding your hand and you're holding them. They take the last breath and you're like, Oh my God, that is what I wanted. But you do not get that if you fight for your limitations. Most people are out here fighting for their limitations that they don't deserve to have the things that they want in life. What would happen if you fought for your dreams? People are always passing this blame that it's everyone else's fault that they aren't getting the thing that they believe that they deserve, but it's actually on you. You live in, and I've said this a bajillion times, we live in the matrix, which means you are Neo. And so if you live in the matrix, which I believe that you do, then that means that you control the outcome, that all of your beliefs will become your reality. Now what's so hard about that is that the beliefs that we have, especially about love have been implanted as since birth. Great example, like when you grow up in abusive household, you often will go and seek the love of the person that abused you or hurt you or neglected you, or didn't give you the thing that you needed in adulthood. And it's very interesting. I was coaching somebody recently and they were explaining the relationship that they were in. Now I've been coaching them for a while. I said to them something very hard for them to hear. And I said, you're dating your father. And this person was like, oh, my God, you are right. And the reason that I was right is because they were dating a person that treated them like their father had treated them. But the conversation that they had, this is where it gets interesting folks. The conversation that they were having internally was that they deserved that kind of love. Wow.
What conversation are you having with yourself about the kind of love that you deserve? Because I'm telling you, if you live in a relation and a life with an unfulfilling relationship, bullshit love, you feel disconnected, arguing, fighting, self-sabotage, self-destruction, getting in your own way, finding reasons why you can't have what you want, looking at the world through this scope of, it's got to be my way or nothing. And if it's not that way, then, fuck it. And then on top of that, I don't deserve it anyway, so it doesn't matter. So I might as well not even exist. You need to start asking yourself some very difficult questions.
You probably also need to come and join our coaching program, which we have every Monday night at 6PM. Pacific time is one of the subject matters that we talk about. So go to thinkunbroken.com. Let's hop on a call and talk about it. It's an amazing group. We have room for two people right now. So, you might want to come and check that out. So, here's where I'll leave this off. And this is the same thing that I told the person that messaged me, I said, at the end of the day, whatever you want is what you will have. But if your subconscious is tied to this idea that you don't deserve the things that you want in life, okay. Then you will play that out in reality and that will be what is true for you and you will never, no matter how much you try, get the life that you want. S,o if you want love, if you want experience, if you want to truly feel connected to another human being, you must allow. The allowing is uncomfortable. In discomfort, we grow. If you want love, you allow it. It's weird. And then you get used to it. You accept it and it becomes your reality. If you sabotage it, you get nothing. So that's it, my friends. Thank you for being here today.
I Love You
Until Next Time.
Be Unbroken.
I'll See Ya.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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