How To Escape Generational Poverty | with Stormy Wellington

Michael: Hey, what's up Unbroken Nation? Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. I'm very excited to be back with you with another episode with my friend, coach Stormy Wellington. Stormy. My friend welcome to the show. How are you today?

Stormy: I'm so excited to be here, being here with you, seeing all of your success, and I know a little bit about your journey makes me proud and also honored, so thank you so much for having me today.

Michael: Thank you, likewise, for sure. You know, I think about people who come from similar backgrounds as you and when you come through hell, it will either make you or it will break you. And I very rarely find anyone who's like in the middle and life's just okay, you know? It's either life is crazy or life is super good. And so, I'm wondering, what's something about your past that we would need to understand to know who you are today?

Stormy: Oh, wow. Great question. You know, what I think about is I used to be in the strip club, a lot of people don't understand. When I say I used to be a dancer, it's like based upon who I am now, it's like they can't really see that phase of my life. But being in the strip club as early as 13 years old to be able to turn on my water back home because my mom was in the streets selling drugs, to have that experience at 13, it transforms you know, it wasn't my fault I was a kid. But to be in that environment and to see men and to understand the hustle, and to understand the resilience and the fight and the challenge of trying to be in competition really with other women, uh, is a lot of the same attributes that I use today in terms of how I build my business.

And so, a lot of people don't know that, you know, I believe that the things that you experience is preparing you for something else. And so, I will say that, you know, from the age of about 13 to the age of about 19, I probably spent about three years as a real exotic dancer as a way to provide for my children. So you won't really be able to really wrap your head around why does she fight so hard? Why is she aggressive the way she is? Why is she so resilient? Why is she so like unstoppable? Is because I remember that phase in my life. And I truly believe that, you know, I have a daughter, I have a 23-year-old daughter, my son just turned 27 yesterday and I have a nine-year-old. But when I had my daughter, I didn't want her to think that that was okay because you know, of course when we watch our parents, we tend to think whatever they do is okay, and then later on in life we learn no, that wasn't okay. So, I would have to say the era of my life that I was a stripper, I helped a lot in me becoming a woman I am today.

Michael: Yeah, that's almost insane for people to fathom, right? And people hear these stories and they go, how is that possible? And I'm like, you know, at eight years old I was stealing water across the street from our neighbor's house 'cause of my mom's drug addiction, right? We didn't have water, we didn't have food, it is survival at its finest. And there's a resilience that's built into that, unfortunately. Right? Like, I will always caveat that like I would've much rather grown up in Grant Cardone's house, trust me, you know what I'm saying? But like, we look at what we come from and you can't change that. But, you know, Stormy, so many people get buried by those experiences and they cannot make it out. You know, I look at my three childhood best friends were murdered, I got family in prison for life, it's almost impossible to be here right now. And I see people like you and I remember the first time I saw you speak; I don't remember where it was, but I remember the feeling of it and me being like, my God, this is inspiring because it's very rarely that I sit across from someone and I think to myself, I really can do anything. 'cause look what they've done. How did you pull yourself through that, like going and tracking this, this chaos in childhood, having a child, very young strip clubs as a baby, I mean, you're a f*cking baby, like how in the world do you pull yourself out of that?

Stormy: Man, I think I'm amazing. I look at myself as, man, look what I came from, look what I grew through, look what I went through to become the woman I am today. So, I draw strength from it. I'm proud. I'm like, damn, I did that. I could have felt like I was a victim. I could have played the victim. I could have been upset with my mom. I could have been mad with my dad, but instead I realized that the truth is my mom had trauma and was broken. My dad had trauma and was broken. And so, they did the best that they could with what they had. And so here it is I am s Stormy Wellington, because that's what God decided to place me. He decided to place me with these parents that gave me life experiences as my life lesson.

So, I don't look at it as a negative, I look at it as that was my school, that was my preparation. And I would've much rather grew up in Grand Cardone's house too but that's not the house I grew up in. I grew up in the Wellington, Barclay house, and so it is what it is. And I'm, honestly, I wouldn't have wanted it no other way, I'm grateful because I feel like more people come from where we come from, Michael, more people come from broken families, broken households, and so it's not a whole lot of, you know, Grant Cardone houses around here. It is not, it's more houses like where we came from. So I look at it as a gift. It is a gift that we went through it and we are able to come out on the other side and to show other people that it's possible. I don't care how you start; it's how you finish.

Michael: That's right. How do you get to that place mentally where you look at it as a gift? Because when I was growing up Stormy, I just felt like God hates me, the world is against me. I would always just be like, why me? You know, it's really weird to have to be the poorest kid in the poorest school, in the poorest neighborhood. Right. And it just always felt like there was something that I was supposed to do that was great. Right. I've had the pleasure and honor of like, being able to witness you on stage and you witness me on stage and we've been able to transform our lives. But I think people always get stuck in that victim. Like, and I always admit it, I've played the victim, like I have done that. I did it really well. I did it effectively. And there was something, there was like, I'm pulling myself out of this no matter what. Like was it just that you didn't have another choice?

Stormy: So, I think, so first of all, here's why I believe exposure is everything. Like you have to give your kids exposure and experiences. And as young as I can remember, I remember my mom having a lavish lifestyle. My mom always had to drive 'cause she never learned how to drive. My mom, you know, for the most part had money even though she did spend some time in prison. But I remember my mom bringing around some of her friends and this is my story, okay, everybody's story may not be the same, but I remember seeing some of my mom's friends that were just fly. I remember she had a friend named Ms. Pat who was always fly, she always had a new Camry, she dressed real sexy. And I used to look at her and say, man, I wanna be like her one day when I grow up. You know, my cousin Michelle Bartley, she was a model and all the men loved her. She was sexy and she had this way by herself and she would always be dressed nice and she worked out I would see her and I would say, man, I would be like her one day when I grow up.

So, one of the blessings of my childhood is that my mom exposed me to a lot of things. So like, now I have a driver, I know people probably think it's bougie, but like, I grew up as a kid watching my mom have a driver. So, a part of my DNA, and just my subconscious mind is like, man, my mom had a driver I wanna drive. You know, my mom had when she was free from prison, she had money even though she got it illegally. My mom sold drugs, my mom had workers, my mom had, you know, people that trafficked the drugs, sold the drugs part of her money. And so me now being in network marketing, it's like I saw my mom do these things, but she did it for all reasons. You know, opposite of what I did it for. And I'll never forget the date, I'll tell my mom that I'm so inspired to not be like you like, I never forget the day. I said, man, I'm so inspired by you. And she was getting excited and, and I know that day I broke her because I said to her in the same sentence, to not be like you because I started to realize what she was doing and how much it was, you know, putting her life in livelihood her freedom at risk. And so, I think because of me being able to see the contrast of, okay, you know, we weren’t poor. We were just inconsistent, if that makes sense. My mom would get her food stamps and we'll go to the grocery store and I used to love when she got a food stamp because we'll be walking through the store with three buggies. I remember that as a kid, even though when we got to the cash register, I be lying to the bathroom because I used to be embarrassed of a food stamp card. But I remember we had food, you know, it wasn't a whole lot of coming home and not having food only when she went to prison and when she went to prison, that's when I was able to experience the stealing food from the friend's houses to eat. And I'm eating a oatmeal pie in the bathroom because if I ask them for it, they're gonna tell me no so, I'm stucking it in my mouth 'cause I'm really hungry. You know, I remember the eating dinner with my friend's family because my mom was in Jamaica on her drug run and just pretty much left me to figure it out and we ran outta food and she didn't collect her money. And so I remember my friend's moms making their plates and then making my plate and I have one piece of chicken in half and five rice grains, but my friends have an avalanche rice and 10 pieces of chicken. And so, it just made me decide that I don't wanna be like that. So, I watch people and I decide if I like how they show up and do I want a piece of them to be me or if I don't like it and so, I do the opposite. So I do a lot of things like I’m quick to feed the kids. I love on everybody kids, because I remember when I was the stepchild. I remember when I was the forgotten child. I remember when I was the hungry child. And so, I tend to think that because I was able to see a lot of things and experience a lot of things, I was able to decipher between who do Stormy Wellington really wanna be because I saw the best of both worlds and the worst worlds.

Michael: Yeah. I actually resonate with that a lot. I remember one time I was at a friend's house and his uncle played for the Indiana Pacers, I don't think I've ever shared, shared this story before. His uncle played with the Indiana Pacers and so we went to their house up in Carmel, Indiana, which is like the number one city in America, it was voted best city in America. And so, I walk in there and it's clean house, it is five, six bedrooms, BMW's in the front yard, motorcycles. They had a pool and a trampoline. And I looked at my house and I was like; I'm sleeping on a concrete floor. I have no bed; my mom is gone and that same, that exposure, God, that is such a powerful thing for a child and that exposure to that environment made me go one day I'm gonna figure this out. And as the Unbroken Nation knows, by the time I was 25, I made a million dollars. Right. I had lost it all. Let's not get it twisted. But what happened is I was so driven to this thing where I was like, I want something different.

People often mistake confidence for arrogance, and I think people are terrified of confidence. 'cause you're one of the most confident people I've ever met in my life. And I know that people must, I would assume, I'm not gonna put words in your mouth, but I would assume people look at you and go, she's arrogant. How do you become confident to the point where it's like you can do anything? 'cause this is the reason I made this show Stormy, is I wanted to give people permission to go be great, even though they come from backgrounds like us and to show them that no matter what, this is absolutely possible. You can have what you want in life, but people are terrified to tap into their self, to their belief, to their intuition, to their heart, and to be that confident person. Where did confidence come from? How do you build it and how do you maintain it?

Stormy: Wow, great question. So, not to sound arrogant, but it's like when you know something because you've dried it and you've done it and you've seen it work, you know it works. It's kind of like your grandmother giving you the recipe to her. I mean, famous red velvet cake. She tells you exactly five scoops of flour, one stick of land o lakes butter, and she put land o lakes. You know, she puts a flour and she make sure you put the oven at four 50. She knows that this recipe is gonna give you the output of her famous red velvet cake. I failed and succeeded so much from mentally, spiritually, physically, financially, relationally, that I have, I call it my formula, right? And everybody has a formula. So, I am not a religious girl, I'm a spiritual girl. I used to be a religious girl. I remember I was strictly the pastor said this, and this is what the pastor said, and this is what we gonna do. The prophet told me this, and the apostle told me this. And then after a while I started to realize that, wait a minute, they're human just like me, they make error just like me. If God told 'em something, why God ain't come and tell me. So, I started to work on my spirit, having a relationship with God, knowing that you got big God and I'm little God. So I know that I have power, I have the power to speak a thing and it should come to pass. I believe that a thought is a thing that you constantly believe to be true. So I believe that whatever I believe to be true, I can make happen 'cause I believe it to be true I believe in principles. And so I try to do it all everybody else way and every time I try to do it everybody else way, I'm literally, I could see the failure. And then when I do it the way that I know works, it always works. So, I think that that arrogance is when you have an air about yourself that you can't be, excuse me, f*cked with, and that's not true. I could be fucked with. I could be, but I know how to not be fucked with, so therefore I become unfuckwithable. So, I know what my formula is and I know that everybody has one. And so, once I discovered it and I tested it, I tested it, I tested what life would be like doing what everybody else do, and I saw what the results was. And then I tested living life the way I learned to live it and now it's like, I mean, I'm very peaceful, I don't let people bother me, I'm happy with myself. I don't need no entourage. I don't need no friends. I don't need you to like me. I don't need you to approve of me. I don't need you to understand me like it just is what it is. I am Stormy Nicole Wellington and I know who I am. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know my assignment. I know what I ain't supposed to do. And I mean, that's just it so it's not an arrogance, it's just I'm aware, you know, and it's, God forbid dance, you know, God is within me and so therefore can I fail? So that's pretty much what it is. And I think when you've succeeded and failed and you did it multiple times, it's like, why am I doubting what I know to be true? I did it. Listen, I live a life people dream of, right? And nobody gave me nothing. And I've helped so many people that you would've never thought could've even been helped. So why should I doubt what I already know? I know because I've done it and I've done it multiple times. Everything that I say, I know it because it worked. If that makes sense.

Michael: A hundred percent. This is obviously not the Grant Cardone show, but I need to say this. So I was speaking at one of his boot camps and I won this speak off that he did and he invested $10,000 into Think Unbroken. Right. And you know, this grant doesn't give people money. And so that was such a powerful moment and he sat across from me and he says, Michael, man, you need to take your flowers. And I never heard anyone tell me this before. I always bring this up on the show 'cause it's such an important thing 'cause it ties into what you just said. It's about acknowledging your greatness like you did something amazing. And people, I think about this a lot, we're told to be humble. Stand in the back of the room, raise your hand to go to the bathroom. You do something great. Oh, it's everybody else's thing. But Stormy, sometimes it's you, you pulled yourself outta hell. The world is against you, and yet people feel like they're not allowed to like raise their hand and be like, I'm great. Like, You have this formula, which I think is really beautiful and powerful, and I do too. And so much of it is based on the past and going, I did that, I know I can do this over here. Most people are terrified to acknowledge their greatness. How do you step into that? If I were sitting with you, let's go through this real quick 'cause as Coach Stormy, I think I'd be remiss not to ask this question. I'm sitting across from you; I hear your story. Stormy goes, yeah, I've got the formula. I did this. And I'm telling you, Stormy, I just don't believe in myself. How do I become like you? How do I do the thing that Stormy has done? How do I do the thing that Michael's done? I see you guys, but it doesn't seem like it's for me, but you have everything. What am I missing?

Stormy: So, the first thing that I would tell you, so we gotta understand like, man is maker of himself. Man is made and unmade by his daily choices and decisions. Like that's the number one thing that everybody in this world has to know. Man is maker of himself. Man is made and unmade by every choice and every decision that he has ever made. You are living in your imagination, Michael. Things happen three times in life. And I talked about this yesterday and I give it to the Unbroken Nation as a gift. And I want y'all to listen to this real slow thing happen. Three times in life, when you are a kid, you can't say this. This is not this. When you are a kid or if you're mentally challenged or if you have some disorders or some disabilities or some handicap, I get it. I'm not talking about those people. I'm talking about able bodied men and women. We have to know, number one, everything happens in the mind first. Everything we see right now, somebody thought about it. You know, I love this stand, Michael, I did not think of this. I could have never thought of this. I knew I needed something like this, this goes in my purse. I could pull it out. It even come with a remote control. I never used it. I throw it back in my purse. It's done. Somebody thought of this in their imagination, they saw it number one. Number two, they did the work to create it. So they went through the manufacturers, they drew it out, they probably drew it out on a pencil and a paper, and they probably didn't know what, they just drew it. So, the second thing is they did the work. So, it happened the second time because they did it, and now it's done. So now we have it. But you know, when a person really experiences life, you know, do you know when this person gets the gratitude for this? Not just the money, the money is one thing, but what gives this person the gratitude is when he sees people using it. So, the reflection of the thing you thought about is the real glory, the real excitement is when you sit back and be like, damn, I'm really Michael. Even though I was hungry as a kid and I stole, even though I was abused or beaten and molested and abandoned and talking about, and I watched my mom do drugs. You be like, look at Michael, look at me or you become a bum and you'd be an alcoholic and you sit back and be like, damn, look at me. So, at the end of the day, you gotta know that that man is maker of himself. So I would tell this person, like, look at your life. You decided it. You went to that college. You dated that man. You dated that woman. You accepted that relationship. So, if you don't like it, guess what? Just visualize you are the story that you tell yourself. So, now what do you want your new story to be? That's why I'm big on meditation. I meditate every day, every day I live in my imagination. I'm thinking about what else do I want and what else do I want and what else do I want? And so, I would tell that person, work harder on yourself than you do anything else. And know that you make yourself and you could break yourself. So decide what is it gonna be? You're gonna make yourself or break yourself. And if you wanna choose to continue breaking yourself, that's a little bit above my pay grade. So you may need to go see your pastor or whoever you need to go see, but it's getting people to understand that, man, we got a choice. And it ain't easy. Like if you go back and you think about all the hard work that took you to become Michael, it wasn't easy, but I bet you, you happy you did it. I remember when I first met you, you are a different person that took a lot of work. First of all, your confidence, your facial expression like you own who you are now. And that when I first met you, it wasn't like that, you know why you're doing that? Because you know what, you know, and nobody can't challenge what Michael knows that he knows. And so, people gotta get to a place that if you don't like yourself, what books are you reading? What do you see for yourself? Listen, don't decide what life you're gonna have based upon the life you have right now like, nobody probably will believe what I tell them. I'm gonna be a billionaire, you know, I'm gonna build a subdivision. I'm gonna have my own airplane. I don't have the money for none of that right now. I don't know nothing about no subdivision beside how to live in one. I don't know nothing about no airplane beside how to get on one. But I guarantee you, because whatever you think about with deep emotion will suddenly appear. So,we gotta change our thoughts and we gotta be very careful because our thoughts could play tricks on us. So, it's about you getting in alignment with what is it that you really, really, really, really, really want, and allowing that imagination to run free.

Michael: And there's levels to this game, right? That's the thing that, you know, almost eight years into Think Unbroken, but 13 years into my own healing journey, like honestly Stormy, there's some days I wake up, I'm like, oh, I just figured out this thing this guy was telling me like nine years ago.

Stormy: Wait, but that goes back. That's the third level that we get to. You have to get to the place that you can reflect and say, oh my God, I saw this, I did this. Now I understand. Did you ever go somewhere like, okay, I give you a great example. You didn't really embrace that you was on Grant Cardone stage, and he gave you this $10,000 until now, you enjoy it more now looking back at it than you did when you experienced it.

Michael: Oh, for sure. A hundred percent. And the thing that that did was it built even deeper confidence that I'm one of the best public speakers in the entire world. And to me it's like, I'll tell you how that happened actually, Stormy, I've visualized that moment 500 times, a thousand times, 2000 times again and again and again. You said that you like to play in your imagination and that really hit home to me 'cause like when I was a kid on the streets, I'd be riding around on my bicycle at like 16 years old 'cause I don't have any money. And I would just be like, one day I'm gonna buy a Cadillac. And now I've owned multiple. One day I'm gonna wear custom suits, and now sometimes I wear 'em, even though I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy. And it was just like, I'm visualizing not because I think you're gonna understand what I'm gonna say. It's not about the possession, it's about the journey to get there.

I think people will start the path, right? They'll be like, I hear you Stormy. I got the three things. I'm gonna start showing up. I'm gonna change my mindset, read different books, listen to podcasts. I'm gonna join one of Stormy's programs or Michael's programs. I'm gonna do these things. And then they'll take two or three steps and then they hit a wall and then they revert back. How do you handle failure in your life? You said something that I think is so beautiful, you're like, I failed so I know how to not fail. I failed so I know how to succeed. I think failure is the most important piece of data. One can extrapolate from how do you fail and then how is it that when you fail that you keep going?

Stormy: Wow, that's an amazing question. So, my dad is 75, right? And so, I asked him for words of wisdom, and it came in my spirit. And so he said to me yesterday, I said, dad, gimme a word of wisdom, you know? And he said, gimme a minute. So he comes back, he said, okay. He said, success is not a destination. He said, failure is not final, and if you fall down, you can stand up and get up again. And I thought about that because the truth is that's the best part of life, knowing that every successful person was once a failure. The best part of life is learning that you learn from your mistakes. But I think what is missing from a lot of people because I had to develop this, people gotta learn to have a strong sense of dignity. And that's like a sense of knowing that you belong and you deserve. I think that's very important. So, I believe that I deserve the best, and I realize that nobody is gonna give it to me. You know, if it's meant to be, it's up to me. And so, being that person that realizes that if I don't do it, who gonna do it? Like, who is gonna do it for me? Nobody gonna work my body off of me, nobody's gonna drink this water for me, nobody's gonna take my vitamins for me, nobody's gonna, you know, put me in my million dollar mansion and buy my, like if I want these things, like, I want it so bad, you know, ET says, you know, you gotta want it as bad as you wanna breathe. I can't not have it. 'cause I would feel unfulfilled and I would not be proud of myself. I like to make myself proud of myself. I like to see that I failed and come back, because that's the best thing to tell somebody, oh, you tripping, you did that and you quit. Oh, well guess what I did? Try becoming a multimillionaire, going broke. Try that.

So it's like once you experience it, you can kind of like, and you're gonna get this mic, right. If you've been depressed before, that's a blessing because, you know, you could feel depression trying to come in your body like, okay, wait a minute. I'm feeling that depression thing. I'm feeling something is trying to come. So, experiencing things to me is the greatest teacher because you know what it feels like in your body, you know, what anxiety feels like, you know, it's like when you lost weight, you know, when you gotten too skinny or you know, when you about to get back fat. You know when a guy not good for you or you know, when a person not good for you. So, I think the best thing is to experience it so now. It's like the blinker, you turn that blinker on in the car and it's gonna let you know, hello, either you gonna turn or turn me off, or you gonna put the seatbelt on, or either you gonna put it on or it's gonna keep ding, ding, ding, ding, dinging. So I think the experience allows you to know what it feels like so you know how not to do it again.

Michael: Yeah. I remember once somebody asked me like, how I actually lost weight. 'cause you know, I used to be 350 pounds and now I'm half way smaller than that. And I realized something I was 26 and I was looking at myself in the mirror, Stormy, I had a Cadillac CTS, you know, that bad boy two car, I'm gonna age myself a little bit. I had some Sean John suits, I had some Js things were looking good for me. And yet I'm 350 pounds, I'm smoking two packs a day, I'm drinking myself to sleep, my girlfriend finds out I'm cheating on her with a bunch of these other girls, and my little brother tells me, I'll never talk to you again you're not my brother. I had chased money entirely with no intention or clarity about anything else in life and I was on a show recently and I really narrowed into this and they were like, how are you able to change all of this? I think you're gonna understand this, and I want to go a little bit deeper into it. I realized that the truth to life in the decision-making process, like what you were talking about is not negotiating with yourself like I do not negotiate with myself. I do not negotiate with my values. I do not negotiate with my dreams. On the days where I don't wanna do it Stormy, I make myself do it anyway. I don't care what it is, it is a commitment. It is a promise. It is something that I said to myself when I change my life 13 years ago. No excuses just result. But people I think play this trick on themselves and they go tomorrow, I can do it tomorrow. I can change my life tomorrow. I can get rich tomorrow. I can be healthy tomorrow. How do you navigate that part of you that wants to negotiate when you're like, I'm good. I made a lot of money. I've helped a lot of people. I've spoken on a lot of stages. I had TV shows, everybody knows my name. When you're like in that moment of like facing, I'm gonna chill and not do anything and it doesn't matter anymore, versus this is my dream like, how do you keep going?

Stormy: So first of all, I tell myself, you know, whatever I can't do, I must do. You know, and it's kind of funny because I had a conversation with Elena, and I never forget this. I asked Grant and Elena this on two separate occasions, I said to Elena, like, what is the story that you tell yourself to keep going? And she was like, what? I was like, I said, what is the story you tell yourself to keep going? She said, what do you mean I don't tell myself a story. What do you mean? And I said, you know when you feel like giving up or you don't feel like doing it? Or she was like, I don't tell myself anything I just do it. And it clicked. When she said that to me, I said, she's done it so much, it's naturally who she is. I asked Grant the same question, and I said, this is month later. I said, what's the story that you tell yourself to keep going? Like you a billionaire. You have this, you have that. He was like, what? I said, what is the story? This is me and him just talking, this is not even in public, this is intimate conversation because like I don't tell myself a story, I just do it. And I realized, and this is very strong what I'm about to say. After a while, when you do it and do it and do it, that's why everybody has to get to a place where it's like creating a habit, success and whatever it is that you want I life, whether it's money or happiness or good health, or you have to do it so much that it becomes a natural part of who you are. Like, I'm not gonna leave my house without brushing my teeth, I'm gonna know that I did not brush my teeth I could feel it, I could smell it, I could taste it. It just, morning breath, you know? And so, we brushed our teeth so much we can't help ourselves. You know, it's like we are gonna do it. You may miss one shower, but you're not gonna miss four or five like it is naturally.

So, I've learned that whatever you can't do, you must do. And the goal is to do it so much that you could feel when you're not doing it. Like I'm back in my network, marketing back. Right? And I mean, I'm not gonna lie. The money is not my driving force anymore. I mean, now I had to put a goal to what I'm doing because when I first did it, my drive was, I gotta pay the light bill, I gotta pay the water bill, I gotta pay the rent, the mortgage, I gotta pay the car note. Now everything's on auto pay. I don't have a lot of overhead outside of my payroll. And if I decided that I wanted to just chill, I could. But what happens when, you know, you made a promise to God about something? Some of us made some promises to our children, to our grandparents that may be deceased now for our mom. And I just believe like, what's inside of you subconsciously in that conscious mind what is hardwired into your DNA. It just gets to a place where you may take a, like how you're going crazy about your six-week vacation. You don't understand how you're gonna do it because what you do now is what you do.

So, you are gonna have a hard time because you are used to doing the things you do because it's a part of who you are. And so, I've learned that I have to do what I gotta do and do. It becomes a part of who I am. And so while it takes me, uh, six weeks, six months, I've learned that if you do something long enough, suddenly it will become a part of who you are. And so that's why it's not the arrogance, it's just the confidence of like, I haven't worked out in like three months because of my surgery. I had a major surgery, it's hard. Like I find myself wanna get up and go walk, but I have to really tell myself you can't because you could put yourself in a hospital. So, guess what? If you don't work, you can put yourself in poverty. Same thing. So everything is the same. If you don't work out, if you work out, you gonna put yourself in hospital. But when I can't work out, if you don't work out, you're gonna be obese and you can have heart issues like your mom. If you don't work a man don't work, a man doesn’t eat, you know, you made promises. So it's like things that are second nature, to me is not second nature to most people, but it's all the inner work that I've done that got me to this place, and I would never stop because I know what it feels like to not do it. So therefore, whatever I can't do, I must do it.

Michael: Yeah. I think about this very simple concept where it's like, I don't do what I want, I do what is required. And that's just such a mind game with yourself, right? And I fully believe this too, that by doing what is required, the thing that you know, you need to do to have the life that you want to have is love, it's love because when you're bullshitting, when you're not taking care of yourself, when you're not showing up, when you're not living in congruency, the universe fills it, right? Go look at your friends when you're failing. Go look at your health when you're failing. Go look at the bank account when you're not showing up and doing the thing that you're supposed to do. Let's talk about this for a second, because a lot of kids who come from backgrounds like us become adults who don't love themselves. What does self-love mean to you?

Stormy: First of all, self-love is embracing who I am and all of who I am. I'm not just, I'm a mom and sometimes I turn mommy off. I'm a boss. I pay a seven-figure payroll, I pay seven figure taxes. You know, when I go out to eat, everybody expects me to pay the bill like I'm a real boss, like I amthat I'm not a denial for that. I'm very feminine. I love love. I'm a big old boss, but I love my man to love on me and protect me. And to me love is embracing everything that you are. I like nice stuff. I like travel. I like beautiful restaurants. I love beautiful people. I love beautiful conversations. So, love is not the problem myself of all the things that make me feel amazing, no matter what somebody else's opinion of what I'm doing may be, it's accepting all of who I am and unapologetically embracing all of who I'm, that's love for me, that's self-love.

Michael: Yeah. I resonate with that; I think that's really beautiful. When you're in this journey, when you reflect back, when you think about all of the things that have happened that have led you to where you are, do you have anger towards those things? Have you let them go? Like, what is the biggest part of the healing journey for you that's allowed you to really step fully into who you are today?

Stormy: You ask some good questions. The part of the healing journey for me is accepting that I attracted it all. It's not other people's fault. The people that betrayed me, I allowed them in my life, they betrayed me because they were supposed to betray me. Accepting the fact that everything that I experienced was a part of the journey. The people that left me, they should have left either I did something or they did something regardless of what happened. I accept the fact that I played a role. Me, Stormy Nicole Wellington, I was talking to my assistant today and I was like, man, I used to be very aggressive, very. I'm a feminine alpha now. I'm still assertive. I still know what I want, but I used to not have no filter, like no filter. Like this is what it is, this is what it's gonna be if you don't like it, Oh, well. Now I replay things in my mind and I ask myself, how does that make somebody feel? Yes, Stormy she may be need to lose some weight, but is it nice to say you're fat? I would say that back in the day. Now it's like, I still would say it, but I won't say your fat. I'll say, you know, why don't try drinking more water, you know, maybe take your cleanse at night, maybe stay away from meat or because, so I still would say the same thing, but I would say it in a way in which it won't affect you. So, I guess the thing for me is I accept the responsibility for everything that I experienced, every person that came into my life that I shouldn't have let in. You know, how we compromise, our boundaries and our standards because we think people are gonna change. No, I had no business letting some people in my life. I had no business being friends with you. I had no friends, no business allowing you in my house. So, I got what I deserved like I really believed I got what I deserved. Nothing I experienced; I didn't deserve it. Nothing. And I think that to me is the most amazing part of my healing journey because nothing was nobody else's fault, it was all my fault.

Michael: Accountability is really everything. And I'm not hearing you say, and I don't want people to misconstrue this. I'm not hearing you say, I'm responsible for the things I went through in childhood. Right?

Stormy: No, childhood this is not childhood. When we're children, we are our parents' responsibility. Period. Or whoever our caregivers are. I'm not talking to kids. I'm talking to 18, 19 and above, it is no longer nobody else's fault. And again, if you are mentally challenged, we give you grace. If you have mental issues, we give you grace. I'm talking to a willing, able-bodied humans, okay? Who could trigger and get to a place where they know better. So, me, I am responsible for everything I did after the age of 18. Now, when I was 13 years old, I had no business in the strip club, where was my mom? Where was my dad when I was 16 years old, 15 years old I had no business getting pregnant and having a child. I had two kids by the time I was 19, I had my son who turned 27 years old yesterday. Like I'm still amazed that I got a whole grown human man that is my son, he's 27. I had it when I was 15, that's my fault, but that's my mama's fault. Like where you was at when I was having sex, where you was at when I was with my boyfriend all the time. You was too busy. So, that's different but I'm talking to adults.

Michael: Yeah. I agree. And my hope is we can help them get unbroken. And it's like the radical responsibility you have, your candor, the way you think about the world, your mindset. These are the same principles I'm teaching people all the time because I don't think you and I are somehow we know something other people don't know. I don't know anything most people don't know. But I've become studious about learning because the people I learned from when I was a kid were the drug dealers and the pimps. I watched my uncle in prison. I watched my family in prison. I watched the streets. I got kicked outta high school for selling drugs. Like, I get it. I sit here and I look at this life and I go, I know where I'm supposed to be Stormy, but I chose not to be another statistic, another guy in prison, another guy dead. But it, man, it is a mental fucking battle every day, and that playing the victim is so easy. And we live in this weird society where we let each other off the hook all the time, where we sit here and we look at people's lives and we go, oh, no, that's okay. I get it. You had a really hard childhood. I'm so sorry. Now your life sucks, well, too bad. Good luck with the rest. How do you pull people out of victimhood? Like, I just want you to drop some real hard truth on them, because I think it's necessary. Like, how do you stop being a victim?

Stormy: So, first of all, I do believe that we need more examples in the world.  Like people like you and myself, like, I can't wait to promote this interview. I can't wait because people need to know, like when I see you, I would never think you had anything negative happen in your life like a church. The things you sell in drugs and all that like, even your talk, you have a very professional vernacular, you're very articulate. I would never believe so when I see you, if I was someone that's going through issues of life and all of that, first of all, I want more people to meet you, to see you, to hear your story. Same thing here. So I think that when I think about these particular people, it's like, first of all, you have to expose yourself to more. I think it's unfortunate that we don't realize the power in there. So, there's five things that I tell people all the time that's necessary to create change. Five things, and I don't care what nobody says. I've seen from drug dealers to people that was about to commit suicide to people that was just by themselves introverts to obese people take these five things and create change.

Number one, right? You gotta change the words that you're saying to yourself, like, we have to. And now we live in a technology society where you could go to YouTube, you could find you a YouTube teacher, you could find you a Instagram coach, a mentor, right? Some of my coaches and mentors are dead. Zig Ziglar, I never met him. I never meet him. Napoleon Hill, I never meet him. Bob Proctor. Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet him, you know? Les Brown. Thank God I got to meet him, you know, 20 years after I first met him. So, we have to know that the world is so resourceful, right? It's just so resourceful. So I would tell them to like, quit playing. Quit playing, quit denying yourself of the good that you desire. And I truly believe that adversity is a part of life. And I have an acronym, or a saying that I say for this is adversity. Advances the assignment. Pass your test to your abundance. So adversity is a part of God's plan, whoever you believe in, we all are gonna have adversity, but can you imagine passing through the adversity and then you get to be advanced on your assignment, whatever that may be because we all were allowed to experience Earth with a purpose, nobody came here without having a purpose. And so, I just believe that, you know, we gotta stop playing victim. We gotta look around at what we have and images.

Number two is the images, the things you see. I'm really big on beautiful environments, you know? I send myself flowers every week and I know people will say, yeah, you could afford it. But there was a time when I couldn't afford it. And I would go to publix and I would buy a $6 thing of flowers because I wanted to feel like a queen. So, I did these things when I didn't even have the money because, and everybody wanna write this down, feeling good is a strategy. You gotta figure out what makes you feel good and give it to yourself.

I remember when I had a bunch of bracelets stacked on my wrist and those cheap plastic bracelets that saved different things. I used to stack those bracelets on my wrist and imagine that it looked like this and now I got a freaking half a million-dollar risk half today. And some days they get even more crazier. So, it's about the words you speak, the images, your emotions.

The third thing, you gotta manage your emotions. Listen, you gotta have emotional intelligence. You know, when logic is low, emotions are high. So you got to go and retrain the brain. But I dropped outta school in the ninth grade. Michael, and I really dropped out in eighth grade 'cause I only went for two weeks in ninth grade. So, nine just sounds good so like I have every reason to not be the woman I am today. So, the words you speak, the images your emotions, you can't be easily moved and bothered. Like, I worked really, really, really, really, really hard and these are things I say to myself, right? Self-control, the strength, thought is mastery, calmness is powe, peace be still. I still have the ability to pop off.

Listen, I could cuss somebody out real good, like I'm the girl that I learned like, I'm gonna cuss you out real good, but what is that gonna do for my blood pressure? What is that gonna do for my energy? What is that gonna do for how I feel? Nothing. So I do not allow myself to be led by my emotions and anyone that can emotionally charge me for the negative, I watch them and I'll eventually cut them off. I used to be screaming and getting mad at people. I don't do all of that no more. So we gotta have emotional intelligence, environments. It is very important that you put yourself in new environments. An environment does not mean you have to physically go somewhere. An environment is in your mind, an environment could be you going to YouTube and watching Michael Unbroken his podcast, that could create an environment. You could be in a project, you could be living on air mattress, and you could put yourself in a new environment right there on your air mattress on the floor. Like how you said, you imagine the Cadillacs, you know, everything we have, we imagine at once. And so, your imagination and also the environment that you put yourself in and that's why I love when people do events like I love events. I think that I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I didn't go into Tony Robbins room, if I didn't go into Grant Cardone's room, if I didn't go into all these rooms with Eric Warrior and Les Brown, and just all these amazing network marketing events.

So, the fourth thing is to continue to understand that it's an environment that that can't be created whether you go to the environment or the environment is in your mind. And then, the last thing is experiences like these are things that nobody taught us. But you have experiences, you gotta do things. You can't just wake up and live this boring routine life. You go to work, you come home, you know, you pick the kids up from school, all y'all eat this, you know, golden Corral and Red Lobster and no go to the five-star restaurant, even if you can't afford it, and go to the bar and order a $10 drink to look around and to see the people and the ooh and the see the cars. And so, you know, we have to give ourselves room to grow. And whoever needs to know, like you cannot continue to play the victim because it's, nobody's gonna come save you but you. And that knowingness should give you a drive to say, okay, let me take it one day at a time. It's not gonna happen overnight. But if you decide that you are going to become something, you now have to take responsibility to do the work. And no matter how long it takes, just know that, you know, you think about a caterpillar and a butterfly, it's a process. You have to be willing to go through the process and know that only you could change you, and it should be done for you.

Michael: I take 'em to church like that, that's so much of this, so beautiful and, and so well said. And those five steps that you just laid out there, those are, you could do all five of those for a hundred dollars. And I don't want people to be missed out on this idea that, that they don't have the money to go to a Tony Robbins or Grant Cardone, I mean, they have this podcast. You're live on Instagram more than any human I know like the access to information is there. The excuses are the things that are stopping you. And my hope is that especially after today, that this incredible community will continue to step further and deeper into their journey, into their healing, into their truth, their power, their energy, their hope, love and grace. My friend, this has been phenomenal, we could literally go for another hour easily. I'm just getting started with you. But obviously I wanna respect your time. Before I ask you my last question, where can everyone find you?

Stormy: So there's a couple places, so you can find me on Instagram as you said, @coachstormy. I love Instagram. Instagram is where I met some of the most amazing people that's in my life. I've made a lot of money, but people on Instagram and I'm really on Instagram so @coachstormy. Of course, I got the Awakening coming up. I know that this is gonna come out right when we're about to loss. The awakening is happening in Miami, definitely I encourage you guys to get in the environment that is going to awaken you. I don't care who in who room you get into, get into the right environment. So, I've curated a three-day event happening in September 29th through October 1st. I also wanna talk to you about it offline, because I think it'd be great to have you maybe come interview me. And so that's happening in Miami, but everything that I do is always on Instagram at Coach Stormy and stormywellington.com

Michael: Amazing. And guys, thinkunbroken podcast.com. Look up Coach Stormy. There're on the website, there'll be this and more in the show notes for you. My friend, my last question for you, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Stormy: To be unbroken is to be able to repair yourself from the things that broken you in the first place and to accept the fact that it doesn't matter. You know, if you fall apart put yourself back together and just know that I believe that life is a series of getting broken and then repair yourself, it's not going to just be one time that you feel broken, but to be unbroken is to mean that you're gonna consistently repair yourself regardless if you're chipped, if you're cracked or if you are just not together, just know that it's gonna be a series of break-ins that's gonna happen in your life, but you gotta decide that no matter what, you won't stay wherever you are. You know, as my dad said, you know, we fall down, we can get back up again. And to me that's what being unbroken mean, it means that you're never gonna stay wherever you found yourself in a place of call being called broken. So don't stay broken, put yourself back together and re repair yourself and move forward.

Michael: Brilliantly said, my friend. Thank you so much for being here. Unbroken Nation and thank you for listening. Please like, comment, share, tell a friend, subscribe on YouTube, and check me out on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken. And remember, every time you share this, you're helping others transform their trauma to triumph, breakdowns to breakthroughs, and helping them become the hero of their own story

And Until Next Time.

My Friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll See Ya.