Stories of Healing: Uncovering the Truth About Generational Trauma

How To Overcome Chronic Illness Through Holistic Approach | with Louise Swartswalter

Michael: And so let's go into this cause I don't want to lose people in this because I you would have lost me by now. What is energy? If you were to lay that out and explain it, you talked about these inner entities being attached to you energetically. What is energy? What is the energy field? What does that actually mean? 

Louise: Yeah. We have an energy field around us. Like we're energetic beings. So like Greg Braden says, we're 99% in 1 percent matter. So your energy field is just space around you and it goes all the way out to the stars and the moon. We have these energetic fields that are around us. Now some people would call it an aura, but it's bigger than that, okay. And so we are energy and I work with a woman that helped me understand that you also have an energy around your brain, okay. And that the brain is like an atom with rings around it. And there's capacitor rings, like these rings around the atom are around your head or around your brain. And if they're off, you'll feel off. And she figured out how to tap into math, the universal language that speaks to your energy field, and came up with codes that go seven generations back and seven forward. And so when I first learned this work, these codes for success, I came home after a weekend in class. My kids were teenagers then, and I went, wow, I came home and everybody's different. What happened while I was gone? And I didn't know that I changed. Took me a while to realize that I had released ancestral fear for way back generationally, and that shifted my life and got me healthier than I was even before. And then I started using it and teaching it. And then I, later I developed a whole system, right? So I developed a system that works on the body, mind, spirit, and the energy field, because what I found is if we're not working in the field, in fact, I show people in my events that pain, the pain in your shoulder doesn't start here. It starts out here in the field, and if we don't work in the energy field, we're missing the boat. And I show that with kinesiology. with muscle testing. And in five minutes, I can take someone's pain away using these codes, using the emotional work, clearing the spaces in the brain where that trauma got stuck.

Michael: Yeah, and it's funny. I think about some of the experiences that I've had and how sometimes muscle testing is spot on. In fact I thought it was nonsense. I was in, where was I? I was in Thailand, I was in Copenhagen, with my friend Ryan and we were at his house and he was like, Hey, I want to muscle test you. And I was like, this is stupid, you're going to tell me that you're going to have me hold something and figure out whether or not my body wants it. That's what muscle testing is. You take an object, you take a product, you take a thing, you put it in your hand and whether or not you can hold stationary. Somebody test and see whether or not your body wants to accept it. And I said, bull shit. And so look, pure transparency. I am a person who it's like, prove it. Like I am prove it right. And so I go, I don't believe you. I will, I'm going to test you testing me. And what I did is I put on, I had a t shirt, I wrapped it around my eyes. So I was blindfolded and I had him hold, I had him give me things to hold. And as he did that, every time he did one and he pushed my, and my arm fell, I would ask him what was in my hand. And one time he was like, Oh, that's a piece of bread. And I took the thing, took the blind, the t shirt off my eyes. I looked down, there's a piece of bread in my hand. I haven't been able to eat gluten in 15 years at this point. And then he gave me like an orange and it was fine. And then we tested like some random vitamins that we had and we did all these different things and it's like that's so energetic. It's if the body keeps the score, the body also knows the answer, right? Yeah. I believe that I would love for you to extrapolate on that a little bit more.

Louise: Yeah, absolutely. So if the body keeps score, the body knows the answer. So what muscle testing really is, it's called kinesiology. A lot of chiropractors use it, coaches, therapists I got really good at it. I'm almost like a medical intuitive, but really what's happening is your nervous system is connect to your muscles, and your whole body. So when you see somebody who's working with someone using kinesiology and they put their arm out and they ask them to hold, and they push down gently and they get a yes and a no. They're calibrating your system, figuring out what your yes is, what your no is, finding out how you're going to respond. And the simplest thing is to respond to a supplement. But I teach people how to tune into the energy field and figure out What are the traumas and when do they start? Age 6? 3? In the womb? Great grandmother? I just did 40 generations back on a woman earlier today. We cleared patterns 40 gen the generational patterns are coming up big time right now. So I can go into the field and actually muscle test and find out, intuitively, What's happening for a person when it all started for them and clear those traumas so that they don't have to hold those patterns anymore. And then we rewire the brain using these codes. So think of it as taking out, the trash and then putting in how you want to show up your dream life, how you want to show up in your world. And so it's really a system, it's a five part system. And again, it came from my own experience. It came from all the things that I learned just like you going to all these different healers and people and everything else. And then I put it together and figured out that it spells brain and B is body, it's the body piece. You can't eat gluten, neither can I, you know, I don't eat dairy either, or sugar. It's like knowing your body, right? What are you eating? What supplements are you taking? Sleep, exercise, that's foundational. Then the next piece is release. R is releasing. And that's releasing all the trauma, all the patterns. The emotions that are stuck. Whatever's in the way of you living your day. genius life. And then a is the line with spirit. So spirit, the divine God, whatever the person believes in is always part of healing life, healing business, living your optimal life. And then I is integrate your brain frequencies to your soul's true purpose. So when that's all integrated and someone has a purpose, it's easier for them to heal. Again, whether they're healing their life or they're healing from a autoimmune disease or whatever, and then add his new program. And I think that's missed a lot, honestly. So if we're not rewiring the brain and the energy field, and you with your program, Then we release some stuff. Great. You might feel lighter, but there's that other piece that we have to do, and that's the rewiring.

How to Find the Courage to Be Yourself | with Leila Hormozi

Michael: How do you navigate those moments in those break points of fuck, I really want this, but I am destroying my life right now?

Leila: I think that, for me going back and I would say that I gained a lot of wisdom through what happened when I was a child and I rose above it and was on a decent path. And then I allowed the, I would say like anger to overtake me. And That's really what happened that drove me into partying and drinking and doing all this stuff was.

Michael: Anger at what?

Leila: Everything. I just felt pissed. And I remember like the moment that I realized, I was like, I'm fucking mad. I was at my dad's house because my mother had tried to kill herself. And then eventually the police came, found out I got taken away from my mom, right? I was like 14, and ended up living with my dad. And I did good for a couple years, and then it was close to when I was going to graduate high school, and I remember I was Because I'd been living on my own for so long and then I came to this house with all these rules and they start telling me what to do. And I was like, what the fuck? I fucking took care of myself, I took care of this woman, I took care of 13 animals. I took it like I've done this for years.

Michael: I got the bills.

Leila: Yeah, I don't. Yeah. 

Michael: Dress yourself. Yes.

Leila: I drove a car. Like I was like, I don't need these rules, and I had stepsiblings in the house and I think they needed the rules, but I was like, I can take care of myself. And I started getting really angry. And I think the moment I realized that I remember specifically. I said I was leaving and they were like, you can't leave because, we made these new rules in the house and we don't want any of you leaving like past this time. And I was like, this is stupid as fuck. I'm just like over it. And so I was at my car and they were like, give me your keys. And I just remember my stepmom was standing there and I was so mad. I took my keys and just chucked them at her face. And my dad didn't speak to me for a month. And I remember after that.

Michael: How old were you?

Leila: 18. Okay. I remember he sat me down and was basically just what the fuck, you could have really hurt her. And I just remember like thinking, I was like, I'm just so mad all the time. Like I'm just, and I didn't know why, and I think that there was, what I realized was that, though I had gotten through what I did with my mother, I still refused to solve a problem that somebody else started. I did not create the circumstances that created my problems. And therefore I thought that this isn't fair. I shouldn't be the one to solve this. And I think that's what, when I finally came to the other side of realizing that I was completely fucking my life up, like six arrests in, overweight as fuck, like just a deadbeat. I remember my dad sitting me down, and saying, I think you're going to kill yourself. And the first thought that popped in my head was, I think he's right. And the second thought that popped in my head was like, this is not the person I want to be, but I just don't know how. 

Michael: Yeah. One of the things I teach my clients, it's like the first thing when they come in, I make this frame and I say, the problems in your life from your childhood are like owning a house. And when you go outside, there's trash everywhere. And even though it's not your trash, it's your house. And it was sitting in my therapist's office, I was like 30 years old. I'd been like four or five years into this work, but I was still just fuck, because I destroyed my life at 26. I had made a million bucks, I was 50 grand in debt, 350 pounds smoking two packs a day, car got repoed, brother doesn't talk to me, cheating on my girlfriend. And I was like, fuck this shit. I'm going to fix this, and it was like, I had spent everything. everything, time, effort, energy, money to go down this healing journey. And here I am four or five years into it and like things aren't progressing. I'm like, why am I still dealing with this? And I remember sitting in my therapist's office and he, and I was like, dude, I don't want to be here. I'm tired of your fucking face tired of I literally, these were my complete honest to God words, I'm like, I'm tired of your fucking face. I'm tired of this same chair, this dumb chamomile tea, the same clock every Wednesday night for years. And I was like, why am I having to clean up the mistakes of my parents? And he was like, you don't have to, but what else are you going to do? And I think that there's so many people who just play into that victim. And when we're in that victim space, letting anger be the driver, you can watch what your life looks like through a frame and scope of anger. What was it for you that became the pivotal turning point? 

Leila: It was in that moment realizing that the times when other people quit are an opportunity for others to step up and win. And when I say win, I mean win at life. And that was what I really realized. I was like, I'm so angry at the things that my mother did to quote, ruin my life. But I was a kid when that happened and now I'm an adult and I'm just choosing not to acquire the skills to fix these problems.

Michael: Do you, I'm going to interrupt you because this question is killing me right now. I have to ask you, I always felt like I was exactly what everyone told me, even though I had made money and had a relationship and cars and clothes and all that. And all of my childhood I heard, you suck, you're a loser, you're not enough, you're fat, you're dumb, you don't matter, and even though I had these glimmers of success, I felt like I was living in the expectations of other people. Does that resonate with you at all? 

Leila: It doesn't anymore, but it did back then.

Michael: Yeah, then. 

Leila: Yeah. I think I let a lot of what other people told me about what happened to me, what it meant, and what it meant for me, and what it meant about me, and what I needed to do to get over it and I need to just sit there and keep talking about it and because I just need to keep talking about it because I'm so angry because I need to talk about it more I'm like I've been talking about it for five fucking years and like I don't feel any better man Like I feel better when I don't talk to you about this shit. And so I think it was that combined with a lot of labels that people put on me They're like, oh you should go on, they put me on antidepressants and anti anxiety medications and like shit that's like It has long term repercussions that you should not be putting children on. And it's, they told me all of these things that I was feeling and experiencing were bad and wrong. And because of them, it's a problem, right? And I think that a lot of where my anger and anxiety stemmed from was believing people that were in authority, authoritative positions and believing what they told me about myself. Until one day I remember that my dad was like, I want you to see a psychiatrist, right? Which we all know differences, psychologists and psychiatrists. One prescribes medication. And I went in and it was a 20 minute session, and I remember the questions this guy asked me. Like he literally even said, he's do you have more energy on the weekends? And I was like, duh, I'm not getting up for fucking school, motherfucker. And after the session, he's I think I know what's wrong. He labeled me with three different disorders. I think it was like bipolar, depressed, generalized anxiety disorder, yeah. I think it was those three. And then he gave me six medications.

How to Heal From Childhood Sexual Abuse | With Yemi Penn

Michael: But what I am saying is so are you and you have to face that fear, but I have this inkling of a hint in my body that says people are more afraid of success than they are a failure. And so I'm just wondering, like, how do we actually transform? What does that look like? If you were to be like, all right. Do these two things, three things what would I do?

Yemi: I love it. Oh gosh. I feel you just spoke to me. I'm still working on my fear of success over failure, but let's come back to transformation. The best definition I have for transformation, which will allow me to define some of the steps is shift in perspective. It's feel so simple, so achievable to anybody, like how, if you could just be standing straight on transformation for you can just be literally turning a couple of degrees to the left because then your vision is different. So I just want to highlight that, that if you want to transform anything, you want to transform your bank account, your relationships, you are just going to need to be open enough to shift perspective. One way that I think transformation works. Brilliantly. It comes from liminal thinking. It's this idea that you need to suspend your ego. And I know that sounds once again, heavy or light to suspend your ego. All I'm saying is I want you to just play the game that let's just say you do not know, or have a grip on all of reality. Is to assume you do not know everything that's happening to assume that there is part of your vision or part of your perspectives that is unknown to you. The minute you can accept that the minute you can suspend disbelief is the minute other things start to come in, whether you believe in a higher being or spirituality as a minimum, start to believe in yourself. There are so many things in your unknown that are waiting and open to working for you, but most of the time, we just need to be aware that we don't know. And that's what allows us to shift our perspective, ‘cause when we shift our perspective, I'll give an example, ‘cause I love examples as a good way for people to actually apply it. I went to another event and I heard someone say, people always talk about think outside the box because I was thinking, how can I change my life? I need to change, I'm single working parent, I've been doing that for all of my daughter's life. I felt like I was struggling and I was trying to figure out what to do with my businesses, but I was just, I was in this tunnel vision because I believed I knew everything. And I don't mean that in a really arrogant way. So many things that happened to me that for me, this was truth, so when this guy said, people say, think outside the box. I was getting cute. I said, yeah, I think outside the circle, I think outside the triangle, I started giving different shapes until he said, there is no box. And my mind got completely blown, but for two reasons, the first reason was you're telling me. That even if I make my box bigger and there is no box, that means I have no constraints. That means I have no safety, that was the first thing that came through, that was my shift in perspective. I had a shift in perspective that I need a box in order to feel safe. I needed to change that, what happens when there is no box? Then the other part was the excitement. Okay, if there's no box, that means I've got free reign to be creative. So I now dangle with this fear and excitement, to transform is to suspend your ego. Assume you do not know everything and just tilt yourself a little bit to the left. Pretend as if there is no box and try to get curious about where does that fear come from? Do you feel you can only do your best work if you're in a box? Question that. Look for people who are doing it differently. And who would you become knowing that there are no boundaries? You're outside of your five senses.

Michael: Yeah, and it's a huge part of that is suspending your own reality. And what I mean by that is people want to live in a fantasy world, which is very dangerous game to play, but sometimes they are so close to reality. Yeah. That they don't even see the potential to have the fantasy, and so it's this really interesting dichotomy or maybe juxtaposition of looking at life through reality and fiction, holding both true and then deciding which one you want more. Because on the one hand, you can look at your life and be like, okay, I was homeless as a kid. I was a drug addict when I was 12, I lost a million dollars by the time I was 25, I was 350 pounds, blah, blah, blah. All these things were true for me. And then I could look at it from the other side and I could go, actually, I think I can do that over here. I think I can shift my life, I think I can be this person, but I'm going to need evidence to support me in that, that is possible. And you're at this event hearing. There is no box, I always go to the Matrix, which I know everyone's heard me say on the show a thousand times, but the concept that there is no spoon, and effectively in the film, it's a moment where Neo is going to see the Oracle. He's about to find out whether or not he's destined to be the one. And the short of it is the Oracle says something to him. At the end of the day, you don't believe in this fate crap anyway, and what that really truly means is that the reality of life is whatever you want to create it and nobody chooses the life that they're born into, but you choose what you do in this moment and what you choose in this moment is letting go of the reality that you don't know everything because what most people think they know. Especially people who have suffered traumatic experiences, what most people think they know is lack, shame, guilt, pain, hurt, suffering, dismay, ugliness, disasterness, that drop of black that floods everything, and they, and what I'm challenging people here today with you, and in this conversation is to recognize that maybe you don't know everything and the things that you don't know will set you free. And so I'm wondering for you, what is your biggest transformation?

Yemi: I love that. Oh, my biggest transformation. I don't think I can just give one. There's two, there's one that's like the being biggest transformation has been my role as a parent, I feel like I have a contract with my kids that I make every other week. I'm so radically honest with them in the sense that I tell them what they need to know. But they also know that when mom's cup is full, I can give, and I'm able to say this in a way that doesn't make them feel guilty or feel bad. The biggest transformation is my shift in how I can become, a good parent to my kids, knowing that at some point they're going to grow up and potentially have experienced trauma even at my hands, either by doing something or not doing something. And I know that's a heavy thing to say, but this is how realistic I want to be because I'll tell you now that because even though I don't think it's just been a response to trauma, but I'm a bit of a nomad, I love moving around a lot. But then I found out real quick that my moving around a lot had my daughter go to six primary schools in Australia, in the UK, where we lived. There are only six years in primary schools. It shows how much I moved and it was creating chaos for her. So at some point she's probably going to grow up and say, wow, that was a lot. I wasn't able to form friends, but I'm aware of it. Like I do this thing called trauma mapping, something I want to release in a couple of years, which is, for us to map what we think may have actually impacted our kids. What may have impacted us to look back on it, that idea of it has transformed. I've shifted my perspective of, Oh shit, this is going to be an issue. They're not going to like me too. What would it look like if we had this conversation now in love? What would it look like if I could change? So because I love change and I love traveling a lot, I've created stability. So we have a home where the kids stay and they can go to school, and I have nannies and babysitters that help me for the times that I want to go. And they know that when I leave and I travel, it's not me abandoning them, it's me filling my cup. But rather than assume I'm having the conversation, that's been my biggest transformation. The shift that my model of parenting does not need to be the way the world says it needs to be the way I build it with my children. Yeah, I probably would leave it at that. That's actually been profound for me because freedom is my highest value and what scared me was that my need for freedom could make somebody else feel abandoned. A shift in perspective really changed that for all of us.

Heal Your Trauma and Build Emotional Abundance | with Summer McStravick

Michael: And I mean that very genuinely and there's something it's human, right? Because you look at these people and at the end of the day, if you're like really paying attention and you're doing this work, what you come to realize is like they had a childhood also. And the truth is, this is a Neil Strauss quote, he said most adults are running around like hurt children. And it's a quote that I think about all the time, and we live in this society now in which, and I've, I fell victim to this as well, blaming my mother constantly, my stepfather, my grandmother, the community, the people and we live in this society now where this idea of doing the work, quote unquote, is almost like a badge of honor in this weird way where people are like, I'm better than you because I did these things. And it's no, you're not. You're still just as fucked up in one decision away from ruining your life as the next person and, but that doesn't mean you don't hold yourself to bigger and higher standards. And I think that one of the really interesting things that I've been able to navigate is leveraging this idea that the standards that I set my for myself are for me. They can't be for other people. And that's a lot of the space for forgiveness. And I'm going to fuck up too. I'm a nightmare. Sometimes that is just the human experience, but, it's interesting because you talked about as a parent, you can understand that pain that your mother must've gone through. One of the things people tell me all the time is you'll be a great dad. I don't have kids, but they always tell me that. And I'm wondering what are the positive influences that even though your mother wasn't always there for you, you've been able to pull over into your own motherhood.

Summer: I always joke with my kids I'm going to obsess someday over the things that I think I did wrong with you. I got you, I didn't deal with the other parents or kids a certain way or teachers or the school or there was that one time when I lost my temper. I'm going to obsess about a bunch of things that I think I failed at and you're someday we'll have a conversation and I'll tell you these things and you'll say, I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't remember that at all. Let me tell you where I think it happened. And then you'll tell me a whole bunch of things and I'll say, I don't even remember that day at all, that was not even right. It's like there's sometimes a mismatch of where we think we fail and where our kids are thinking we fail and we can't presume to know. So I keep that in mind, even with my kids, it's a constant question of my mom would say, how are you doing? What do you need? How can I support you? Tell me anything. I won't be angry if you tell me anything. So she kept the doors of communication really open. Even though in some ways it was an oddly strict and loose upbringing, I had, she had me home at midnight, no matter what she was there waiting, awake good things, but then the other areas were absolute chaos. So for me I try to keep as much continuity and recognize, in fact, it's funny, I had a conversation with my kids a couple of months ago and I said, where, is there anything I can be doing better for you?

Michael: Silence.

Summer: And my son said here's some things that I actually want, and he had a little tidy list, so we went through them. So I'm really always conscious about asking, what am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? And my kids are not afraid to tell me, which I take as a feather in my hat, because a lot of us were younger, afraid to, to tell our parents how we really feel or if we do we're told that we're stupid or wrong or bad for thinking that. So that's the environment that I try to cultivate.

Michael: Yeah, that's beautiful. And I do think, unfortunately, a lot of people do that. They do not actually allow the space for children to be curious or to share the truth. I certainly went through that. That's probably one of the reasons that I became a great liar. And I had to heal that journey and go down that path. And what's really interesting is you're faced with the series of variables every single day, that you don't really have control over and the only thing that you really truly have control over. And to cultivate and create, you said, this is the life I want my children to have. It actually first comes with creating the life that you want to have. And this is the place where most people get lost, they put everything before themselves, they put themselves at the back of the room. They certainly are not manifesting abundance in any capacity, there's no transformation, they're not flow dreaming, they're not going and making this life, the thing that they can have. And so what I'm really curious about, right? Because people often get missed in alignment. They do things that they should not be doing for people. They shouldn't be doing them for. And I know that's a big truth for this audience because I was one of them. I was a yes man. I was a do whatever you need. I was codependent. And now I'm like a super no guy. I'm like, no, the answer is probably no, and so I'm really curious like how do we get people into a mindset of abundance, of alignment, of clarity, while manifesting it's like all these words that I'm trying to put together into a little puzzle. What does that look like? How do you get people aligned? That's the hardest thing I think we struggle with silence.

Summer: Alignment's a word that you know, the personal growth and spiritual communities just toss around like nothing. I'm very specific with what alignment means to me. To go back for a second, you know how you were saying we often blame people in our past for how we feel today. Beyond my childhood, I've had a series of other things where, people have been villainous and there was a moment in my life where I realized every time I call up that feeling of anger against them or you messed me up or you derailed me or you took something from me, you took my money, you took my position, you took, something that's been some dastardly horrible thing. The villain who did it to me probably doesn't remember me at all anymore or they don't, they certainly don't think about it. It's not even in their world. I'm the one now, who's taken that on and institutionalized it inside myself, just like you would use institutionalization, institutionalizing with a person who, they get out of jail and they go right back to jail, right? They've created a set of comfort in that. A lot of us are still carrying these old wounds, but we're the only ones who's holding, who are holding that torch anymore. We, in fact, are giving the perpetrators what they've not even asking for anymore. Because we're still feeling the pain, we're still feeling the hurt. But we're now the ones who are bearing the torch for them, if that makes sense. So for me, one of the first steps is to release that and say, look, that person no longer has the ability to make me feel any certain way. They no longer, I withdraw the authorization for them to be, make me feel this way. And I consider anger and mad to be that as well. If I can get to the point where any of my past enemies, I want to hug and kiss, then I have actually finally trumped them. I've finally withdrawn all of their power over me. So that's one of the basis that I start with from there, it's okay who do you want to be? Who do you actually want to be? What do you think you're capable of being? And then we're going to go into the realm. When I work with my clients, we go into the realm next of I'd like to be this, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if that's really me. I don't know if. And so we have to explore what do you mean? Who says you can't be that way? There's nobody on this. I always point out, all these people are trying to tell other people how to live their lives as if they could be selfish enough to have two lives that they get to live. I'm like, nobody has that rule, there's not a single person on this earth who can tell you, here's how you need to be. And here's how I want you to be, and here's how you should be. If they try to do that, they're selfish little fucks, excuse me, but they have no authority for that. Why are you giving them any authority? You're going to get to decide. Now you and I are talking the same language, right? So we're getting that awareness. Okay, I get to decide, okay. If I get to decide what are the limits of my imagination and what are the limits of what I think I'm actually capable of. And I say, great, now we get to build this because you've been going around your whole life, waiting for other people to give you permission to feel a certain way, waiting for them to give you. Money. So you could feel a certain way waiting for all these things to give you something so you could feel something or become something. I said, what if we take all those other people out of the equation, right? Take all the power away from them. Bring it back into yourself. How do you want to feel? I want to feel like you said, abundant and prosperous. And I love talking about that abundance, prosperity, money, because for many people who've been through a lot of trauma and abuse stability and safety are a one, they're like the number one thing. Like you, I always say you can't build a skyscraper if you don't put a nice big cement pad down at the bottom, right? When you are building security and you're building money, that is your pat. You could build all kinds of stuff on top of that. So let's start with that. How do we make you secure? How do we make you abundant? And then that opens up other things like my worth is, I've only ever been paid this. And I say, okay, that was, again, was other people telling you what you were worth, telling your value in the marketplace, telling you this and that, and you believed it and you took it all in and made it you. It's not you anymore. What's you? So I say, let's feel what abundance is like. Let's practice the feeling. Let's go in and manifest the feeling.