The Secret for Abundance Mindset | with Chance Welton

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with another episode with my guest, an amazing friend, Chance Welton. Chance, my man, what is going on?

Chance: Good to see you, brother. I'm glad to see your new studio that you got set up and thanks for having me on the show. I know we got to meet a while back, had you on our show at Abundance, and we just had such a deep, awesome conversation and have become like really good friends ever since so, I'm honored to be here.

Michael: Yeah, same dude. I mean, you know what's so funny is you don't know who you're going to meet and just be like instantly bonded. There's that terminology, I don't know if it applies to platonic male friendships or not, but like twin flames. I'm like, dude, it's like, I feel like I've known you my whole life, it is the strangest thing.

Chance: It really is, it's powerful.

Michael: So, for those who don't know you, tell us a little bit about your backstory and, and what you're doing today.

Chance: Well, I'm 34 years old, but I feel like I'm 70, just with all the experiences that I've had, I heard that entrepreneurs live longer lives because things are so different for us every single day, that that's how our brain like analyzes time, it's not actually how long it took, but how many different experiences we have every day. And so, to that point, I feel like I've lived a hundred lives and it's kind of funny inside of our family, like people will google my name and go look at like old photos of me and they're like, which chapter of Chances life is your favorite? When he was like, hippie Chance or homeless Chance or rockstar Chance or model Chance or like bartender Chance, like what was your favorite era of Chance? Because I've had so many of these different chapters because I've always just been such a searcher and so curious with life of like, man, I want the most out of life, I wanna be around the most amazing people. And so, it put me in a lot of really wild experiences, even at a very young age, ‘cuz I was always just like such a secret I still am today. It's really been all over the place, man, I'm open, I'm an open book, I'm open to share anything along that line that you think would really resonate with your following.

Michael: If I wanted to know you at a deeper level, what is one thing about your past that has defined who you are today?

Chance: Definitely without hesitation, my father committing suicide when I was 19 years old, like, my best friend, my father figure, like, everything that I knew about life was him. I'm spitting image of him like you look at photos of him when he was my age, and like, it freaks my mother out to this day about how similar that we are. And again, that also shaped me as a person of like we always procrastinate things that we want to do in our lives to better our lives, always say, oh, I'll go have dinner with that friend at some point and then years and years and years pass and you lose connection with that person. Same thing happens with fitness goals or health goals or travel goals or whatever. And I remember my family or people that I looked up to at a very young age were like, oh yeah, well when I'm retired, I'll go travel. I'm like, when you're 65 years old, you don't wanna go hike Machu Picchu, you don't want to summit Everest, you don't wanna surf a big wave in Hawaii. Like you don't want to do the things that are so fun about traveling like I don't, I don't wanna wait till I'm 65 to experience these things that I want to experience now. And then see my father pass at 49 years old, I thought I saw another 40 years with him, 50 years with him, I thought he was gonna meet my kids, he wasn't, you know, life is short. So that moment really was like an eye-opening experience for me of like pretty much all this sh*t I'd heard my whole life was like bullsh*t. And it was like, no, you gotta self-define what you want today and like start working towards that because what I thought was that I would have a whole lifetime with my father was not true that didn't happen for me. And I knew that I wanted to be around for my son, you know, I have a year and a half year old now and I get to see him every single day yesterday he walked for the first time I ran across the living room and I was there to see it. You know, I was there and that's what's so important to me now is ‘cuz I was the strongest relationship and it took me a long time to come back to a place where I could love like that because after that, like I've always been like a pretty optimistic person like pretty just happy person in life even though I've gone through a lot of stuff, including that with my dad. And I really numbed myself out after that like, just with all the fun times, like drinking drugs, women, like just chasing the next high, chasing the dragon, right? Never got into hard drugs, but did all the ones that are fun and would keep me at a safe distance emotionally. And that went on for a long, long time and one of the girls that I was dating at the time was like, you only let me love you so much. And I was like, whatever, you're just being such a woman oh, I'm not emotional enough, I'm not available, it's like, I love you like I absolutely love you, like you're my best friend. I'm showing up for you, but there's like this. I can fill this thing in between. Well, eventually I let my ego kind of come down a little bit and I was at a conference and they were talking about brain state, like a brain thing that would like, help you process trauma and all this stuff. And I was like, ow, whatever, you know, I'll give it a go. Let's try it out. And sure, enough she hooked up my brain she's like, your subconscious is locked down, like you're not able to feel emotion. She's like, when was the last time you cried? And I was like, it was my father's death, I was 24 at the time, my father died at 19. I'd been five years since I'd shed a tear, not a happy tear, not a sad tear, not crying when another family member passed or losing a friend or whatever, not just like, I was like, that sucks, but I'm not gonna allow myself to feel that ‘cuz I was protecting myself and we all do that. We really just protect ourselves from it, we're triggered by certain experiences that allow us to shut down and go into this safe space and whatever emotions we operate on, we always go back to that. Like, you meet people that are always pissed off it doesn't matter, they're just always pissed like that's just their emotion that they're comfortable in so they always just operate from that place. Mine was like humor and having a good time so, like I just always wanted to get back to that where we could be laughing about something or having a great time. So, I was doing whatever I could to always get back to that, but I was always chasing the dopamine high so that I could avoid the pain and avoid that situation, not let people too close to me ‘cuz then I didn't ever want to experience what I experienced. So, eventually I realized this cycle that I was in and my good friend Dr. Lo, the rewire doctor is talks about how like if we're always chasing that high, there's always a comedown and then we feel depressed, lonely, not enough energy to get through the day or whatever. So, if we're always doing this, always looking for the positive or vice versa, always looking for the negative, it's like there's always gonna be a swing. And so, if we're not more balanced in our positivity, then we can have these downfalls so, I started experiencing that where I'd have like these huge, like real lows, like I never wanted to be alone, I never wanted to not have something fun or exciting or whatever, like planned for that week so, I had something to look forward to on the weekends. Like if I didn't have that, I was like super down and depressed, not like debilitating, take my own life type of depressed, but like enough to where I was like, I do not want to feel like this. And so, I did the brain state and I did 25 hours intensive, I did five hours a day for five days in a row, that's just how I am. I'm all in. It's like if we're gonna, the time is like if we're gonna go party, we're gonna sit up till fricking eight in the morning. If we're gonna go climb this mountain, we're gonna climb it faster than anybody else. I was always just like freaking all in so with this, I'm like, what do we gotta do to fix this thing like this week? And she's like, well, we can do an intensive if you want to do that and she's like, it's five grand. And which is a lot of money for me at the time, but like, we'll get it done and like this is gonna like rip you open in all the best ways. I said, fantastic, it's the equivalent to doing 30 years of meditation or whatever she wanted to call it. She's like, great, let's dive in. So she hooks on my brain she's like, yeah, your subconscious literally shut down like you're not allowing yourself to fill emotions which a lot of people are in, but it's also not allowing you to love, you're probably hitting a bottleneck in your business, you're probably kind of hitting this plateau in a lot of areas of your life. And again, I didn't wanna hear it from my girlfriend, but I would hear it from this woman that studies brains. Right. So, I'm like, interesting, I've been stuck at this number in my business, I've been stuck at only going so deep, like I still having very shallow relationships. And essentially having the same relationships with people that I had since like high school or shortly after. What I mean by that is not just with those people, but like the same level of conversation or still talking about the good old days and still talking about things in the past that aren't bettering my future or allowing me to grow in different ways. I was being paralyzed in that sense in a lot of different aspects of my life. And I was like, whoa, this is really starting to make sense kind of how you do, one thing is you do like how you do one thing is how you do everything right? So we do this 25 hour intensive and then she's like, just be really easy on herself ‘cause you're probably gonna be really emotional. And I was like, I'm not that, I'm not a very emotional person. Well, a few days after everything kind of settled in, I was just crying about like everything like everything, I called her up, I was like, you gotta turn to this thing back. I'm freaking, freaking cute cat walked across the road and I just started crying. And she's like, she's like, it's gonna be intense because you've kept all this inside of you for the last six years on top of all the other traumas that maybe you are conscious of or not conscious of with toxic relationships or self-abuse, whatever it is.

And so, it just kept going and going and going. But then I just like started to see the world like in a different freaking light. It was wild. I was just like more excited about life and had a greater connection with my girlfriend at the time. And she was just like, whoa, whatever happened at that lady's house? Like, this is amazing. And I was like, you should do it too. She's like, oh, I'm not broke. And I was like, I ain't gonna swim the bike so she ended up not doing it, but she was like, whoa, like you are a different person. I was already meditating at the time. I had been doing it for a couple years, like twice a day. So I was kind of starting to get there, but that just like took it to the next level where literally I was able to see the world in a different way because I wasn't operating from a place of fear anymore and I wasn't operating from a place of like scarcity of like needing to chase that next thing, I was just kinda like sitting and just being more of an observer of my thoughts instead of reacting to my thoughts. And it was a really profound moment in my life. And it just allowed me to really get back in touch with who I was and it was crazy when you kind of have those aha moments and you look back at all these little decisions you made leading up to that point, I just saw it in a completely different way of like, wow, I was avoiding all these next things to really take me to the next level on so many different aspects of life ‘cuz I was afraid of it. I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't wanna fail. I didn't want to have somebody that I loved and then have them be gone. Like, my worst nightmare was like my girlfriend at the time, like dying in a plane accident and like, wow. I've just put seven years into this relationship and if you were to leave, like I feel like it'd be the end of me, you know? So, that whole experience really propelled my life in a lot of different ways but it was all about so many people talk about doing the work and you and I joke about all the time people like, oh, I'm doing the work, I'm doing the work, I'm doing the work. I'm like just listening to podcasts, reading a couple books like that's part of it. But really taking action and really to understand like, I'm not gonna let fear control my life anymore and like practice those conscious thoughts throughout the day, like repetitively is what really, I think doing the work is doing. And then like choosing to do those micro adjustments in your life every day that eventually over a long period of time will have massive change. From that moment of like doing the work and like, hey, I'm gonna really invest in myself, that was really the first big investment I made for myself too. Whether it be in health or mentorship or whatever it was like five grand for that intensive, but it was like the best $5,000 I ever spent on myself. I think even to this day ‘cuz I was literally thinking differently after that.

Michael: Yeah, that's incredible. Well, a lot of things just came up for me, I think there's something people don't discuss frequently enough when it comes to loss, especially loss like that, like you went through with your father and its heartbreak. We put ourselves in this position where we are so connected with the people in our lives, our friends, our partners, our family, our community and when we lose them, people always go to this thing where it's like, yeah, I shut down and I was emotional. I was like, yeah, you should be your f*cking hearts broken. And there's research study that people who are married for long enough periods of time, like one partner dies, the other one dies right behind them like, it's incredible like people who truly like love each other. And when you have loss, it's like you lose a part of you. And that was my experience, I mean, losing my three best friends, like one of my best friends and you said something that sparked a memory for me. My best friend Seth, like I'll never get to answer the call of his that I avoided ‘cuz I was mad at him and then he was gone. You know when it's like I don't get that moment back. You don't get that time back. You don't get that sit down with your boy who's in town. You don't get that trip to the restaurant. You don't get those back. And I think you're incredibly spot on, it's like you have to be willing to operate in that space of the now and face the fear ‘cuz a lot of it is like, it is just fear and its stupid fear because like realistically whatever's in your head is not reality until you start making it reality. But when your heart is broken, whether it's somebody has left you or you lost the dream job or whatever that thing is, it's easy to make Ill-advised decisions when you're unaware. Here you are, 19, my dad's my best friend, my everything, everything I know about the world being a man, I look just like him, that's heavy. There's something of depth there that most people relate to. We all go through this; we all have that loss. I think the most difficult part about that is like when you are facing it, is to not run, but it's survival. The brain doesn't know better, the brain's like, f*ck, that hurt really bad. I'm gonna go have all the fun. No matter what.

Chance: Oh, I ran, I was traveling at the time I was in New Zealand when it happened and I'd already bought an around the world trip ticket with my best friend Adam at the time. So, we'd already had like 15 flights booked and I was like, just survive while you're in that, you know, country to get to the next things. We're working dead end jobs, doing whatever we could to make this thing happen. So, when my father's funeral took place, I was already in New Zealand, so flew back, went to the funeral, and then went back and so I had, all of my next year was planned to be running away. And so, I took full advantage of that, like didn't really talk to my family, it was really all really hard for us and a lot of us lost touch and I was like, man, I am in New Zealand, then Fiji, then Australia, then Nepal. And honestly it was like the perfect thing for me to be running but at a young age, it was like that was also my medicine that was allowing me to really see the world for what it was and get out of my triggering environment of being around like the restaurants I used to go to with him and the town that I knew him in. Right. I was able to get out of that, which I think was really healing for me at the same time. But what's definitely full on running away from my problems, I did a full trip around the globe that year. I was living in Hawaii at the time, went all the way around the world and came back to Hawaii in that year of, shortly after my father passing.

And so, I was also torn open to where I felt like I saw the world in a really beautiful way because of how vulnerable I was after that, where I was like making friends and had this feeling of like, wow, life is short like I need to make the most outta every single day. And that was really the big learning lesson of that year, was there are so many amazing people out there that I was meeting strangers that I was just falling in love with. You know, like it was just such a rad experience to like, man, this person on the other side of the world has no idea who I am. Mind you, this is like right when Facebook was taken off, right? So, there wasn't even like Instagram and all these ways that we're all connecting now, it was like, man, if you met somebody at a bar, at a host or whatever, it's like you were writing down their email like on a piece of paper and like, man, email me anytime you're in town. And so, we started building these friends because we landed in New Zealand and then started traveling back the other way, which everyone from Europe would come around in New Zealand kind of be like their last stop when people were like on gap year and whatnot. So, we're meeting all these people in New Zealand and then starting to go back around the other side of the globe and we're meeting up with all these people in these different areas and just people just like opening their doors to us and being like, super amazing. I'm outta town, but my mom said, come stay with them for the week and she'll cook your dinner. It's like somebody I met for an hour at a hostel in freaking New Zealand. And you're like, wow, people actually truly care about strangers. And that was like such a aha moment for me ‘cuz growing up it's like, don't talk to strangers. Don't get in cars if you don't know them.

Michael: Which is probably ideal.

Chance: Yeah. If you're under 15, you're under 18, probably not, but as an adult it's like, I have learned the most from strangers. I've had the biggest opportunities from strangers. I've fell in love with my wife, she was a stranger, just met her at a random concert and decided to walk up and talk to her. Now we have the most beautiful son ever, you know, it's like there's so much magic that comes from it. But again, it goes back to talking about fear like when you remove the fear and you genuinely want the best for a stranger that you don't even know, like you're gonna find those other strangers that have that same frequency, that genuinely care about you that would take the shirt off their back. So that was like a big learning lesson that year of like, wow, all these things that I feared, you know, majority of my family had never been outta the country at the time, either went right into a job or went right into college and just kind of stayed close to home. Still the state, my entire family lives in Idaho. I'm the only one that lives partially outside of the outside of the state later on, my sisters travel a lot we gotta do some really fantastic trips together. But it was this big unknown, this big scary thing. I remember we were going to Nepal and my mom researched it and like 10 years prior there was like a bunch of like free radicals that were kind of creating their own Malaysia and she was like, oh my God, you're gonna get kidnapped like, don't go there. And we didn't have phones, we didn't have computers so like, she wouldn't hear from me for three, four weeks at a time but it was like go pushing through the fear and the unknown to really find like some of those magical moments in my entire life.

Michael: And I'm a proponent of all that. I always tell people, one of the first things I advise people when I'm coaching them, I'm like, if you still live where you grew up, you have to leave. You must leave, you have to do that. I share that all the time on this show, so I won't go into it. But when I made the decision to travel the world, dude, it put me in a position to learn about me, about how resilient I could be and do talk about fear. I'm the kind of guy, when I was young and in my early twenties, I'd walk around with a pocket knife all the time, keys in my knuckles, I had a concealed carry license. I carried my gun with me all the time, just constant f*cking fear. Like, someone's gonna hurt me, someone's gonna attack me and then you learn like, actually the worlds really beautiful, it is incredible, the kindness of humans, the willingness of people to connect. I think if anything, I'm more concerned about walking down the streets in America than I am half the back alleys I've been in across the world. You know what I'm saying? And I think that more people have to have the willingness to step into the unknown, but that, that applies across the board. But we're laid and what is put in front of us are all these ideals, all of these things that we don't necessarily agree with. And I think to a lot of extent, you have to be a contrarian, right? You have to be willing to push against what everyone else says and the social norms. But it's difficult because a lot of those things carry over those norms and they help you and it's about finding the balance. And you said something I think is really, really beautiful. You're like, I got like the best one and a half year old because I was willing to talk to a stranger. And I want to ask this question. I don't have children, but I one day, if I do slash win, I'm always thinking about questions like this, you and I have kind of gone in this once before, but I never asked you this question. What is a lesson that you learned from watching your father that you bring into being a father?

Chance: That's powerful. It didn't matter where we were at with my dad, he always made sure that we were like, taken care of and having fun, like having an experience, he always wanted to show us things like, always like, oh, come over here and like, look at this frog. Or like, we're hunting and like, oh, come over here and like, this is how you dress an animal or we're farming. And he just wanted us to experience it and like, see the world through his eyes and live like the best experience possible through him. And so, he was always just like a teacher and always so involved and very much so lived in the present. And so, I've really have shared that with my son already like, I just love showing him things and he just like, they, they remind you about how magical life is ‘cuz it's like even just like seeing a flower for the first time, like with this big succulent plant outside of her house and it's never bloomed before well, we had so much water this spring that it bloomed and all these big, beautiful pink flowers were like coming off of it. And he's like freaking out, like, pink, pink, pink. This is crazy. Dad, are you seeing this? It never was like this before. And I'm like, wow. You know, you hear that saying, stop and smell the roses. That was a perfect example of that like situation, like we're always moving so fast. I didn't pay attention to all that thing that had never flowered before. And so then I was able to like share that experience with him because it was so magical. But really that's what it is, is like just being so present with him because my dad was always so present with us and I always remember that like, there's three of us, you know, we're running around, we're on a farm, there's a lot of dangerous stuff out there and was always just so present and making sure that we were having a great time you know, enjoying life and that's what I've been able to share with my son is really just showing him things and just so excited to be able to be there with him all the time.

Michael: Yeah, that's beautiful. I often think about all the lessons I didn't learn, not having a father and I'm like, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be really good at this, I know all the things not to do. Are there elements of your childhood in relation with whether your father or your mother that you thought defined what, like being a parent was that are no longer true for you as you're now a parent?

Chance: I would say, you know, before you're a parent you think, oh, mom and dad are crazy. Like all this stuff that they did and mom would always be like, ah, so many sleepless nights, you know, raising you kids. I was always like, whatever, you're crazy, okay, mom, don't be so, you know, dramatic. And now it's like, a year and a half in with Dee and even before he was even born, so many sleepless nights. Like, babe, are you okay? Like having weird pains in the middle of the night like there is so much around having a child that a lot of the stuff that, you hear parents say, I definitely was finding truth in that. But my mom and dad, parents can be kind of like over controlling where they really want to like guide you in the direction and always like, well this is the right way to do it and this is like the only way to do it, kind of a thing where later it broke out to be like, all the stuff you told me was like not right for me and I had to go out and find it.

So, ‘cuz again, it was coming from a place of fear, like, don't go travel, get a job, take over dad's farm, like stay here like, it was very much so, like, this is the right way and it wasn't for me. And thank God I did go out and experience the world because I'm adding so much value and in my true divine self now being able to impact people through abundance and I've taught over 35,000 people how to start a business at this point and really given them true freedom. I wouldn't have been able to done that if I would've stayed on the farm. And so, you know, now raising my son, just putting so many things in front of him and letting him really kind of steer his way based on what he is naturally attracted to. We put guitars in front of him. We put little drum sets in front of him. We put paints in front of him, books in front of him, cars most likely. What are you really like drawn to and really living that wide open because I think that we're all born with superpowers. We're all born with gifts, and we need to find those because that's how we're truly going to provide as much value as we can to this world and really find the people that are actually gonna support us and find true happiness. I feel like a lot of people make the mistake of ignoring that and trying to fit into a different thing that they're not meant to do. Or, my dad was a doctor, so I'm gonna go be a doctor. And you hear that so many times where there's like four or five generations of people doing the same thing. Sometimes that is a proof fit and that's great and if you're happy and you're providing and you love it, and you wake up every day and you can't wait to get to that project or that job, fantastic. But if it's not, it's like that's time to really start looking at like, what did you let go of years ago that you're like, man, that was where I was really happy. Because when you're doing that, you can actually show up and create amazing connections, build an amazing business around it. I mean, with the internet now, literally, whatever you're passionate about, you can make a business out of it. I know a guy that loves guitar. He does guitar lessons, and he's not the guy that's just sitting in a local shop charging 25 bucks per lesson. He's a dude that went out and built a massive online presence. And the dude's making like $8 million a year teaching guitar lessons. But that's what he freaking loved to do. And he found a marketer, found some guy that was great at video production, said, Hey, let's go build this thing and a million of sub subscribers. And so, I tell people that all the time and like, and that's what we teach inside of abundance is, how to get your skills out there to the world. It's like if you understand marketing, you understand pai d media, you understand sales, you understand things like you can take literally whatever you want and you can take it to the world and create an amazing life. So, that's really the thing that I want people listening in to think about is like, are you truly doing what you love to be doing? And if not, why not?

Michael: Yeah. Well, the why not is easy, man. It's not just indoctrination, right? Which is a big part of it, right? We grow up in schools, walk on the right side of the hall, do this, do that, that's a part of it. Like we all have that.

Chance: Yeah, don't shine too bright, just show up and two o' clock in and don't be too good.

Michael: There's nothing on planet Earth that pisses me off more than that. I had a conversation with somebody the other night. And they said, you know what? I always feel bad. This was in our entrepreneur coaching group and they were like, I always feel bad when I do good stuff cuz I want to tell people, but I feel like I'm bragging. And I'm like, that's the problem.

Chance: And you're only bragging if it's not true.

Michael: You're only bragging if you're a f*cking liar. If you didn't do the otherwise, it's like, give yourself flowers, shine your light. I remember the one thing I would always get in trouble for as a kid well, two things. One is asking why, not for the sake of asking why, but so I could understand, don't tell me what to do if you cannot give me context and why I should do it. And two being like, look what I did. And part of that, like, I get it, for me, I was ignored as a child. I was invisible. Like, and so if I did something cool, like win a wrestling tournament or get the MVP or like win the spelling bee, I would be like, I would want everyone to know.

One time there was this girl I had this huge f*cking crush on. And I just won this giant city wrestling tournament in Indianapolis and I took the medal to school the next day ‘cuz I only was like; I'm going to show her because I'm like 17.

Chance: The things we think that are really gonna impress chicks.

Michael: Yeah dude. She could give two sh*ts. And it was such a great lesson for me at such a young age ‘cuz I was like, actually this further proves the point that it doesn't matter what other people think about what you do as long as you're in alignment. But I think you have to go and try a bunch of different things. You talked about all these phases of you. I've had those too. I had the corporate one, I had the drug dealer one, I had the professional photographer one, I had the blah, blah, blah. And now it's like author, speaker, coach, podcast host, blah now I have like nine and one. But all of those things, like I had to try them and a lot of them were in alignment for a moment. And then I was like, wait a second, I'm actually not in alignment, this isn't really who I am but I was willing to experiment. I think people get so trapped in that and you have had many revisions of Chance of who you are as a human being, some per your own doing, and some, because of the nature of the universe and the timeline that we're on while not always linear is in terms of start and ending. And so how do you determine? I want to go deep into this in the nuance of the understanding of who you are, ‘cuz this is where I believe the number one place people get stuck. We talked about fear, we can agree with that. I've talked about fear to the point, everyone knows we all face it. But what do you do about that thing that keeps you awake where you're like, I need to go and see what's on the other side of this door? I need to try the modeling going around the world, starting the business. Right? You said, I've been homeless Chance, I've been the server bro Chance, I've been party Chance like all these things. Like how do you allow yourself the space to explore who you are?

Chance: It's a great question. I think at one point my biggest fear became I don't want to die with more left in the tank. I don't want to die without going to South Africa and swimming with great white sharks. I don't want to die without having multiple kids. You know? I don't want to die not seeing my grandchildren, all these things started to stack up against it where the fear outweighed of not experiencing it forced me to go experience it. Especially when my dad passed, I was like, you know, life is short and he had all these things on his bucket list that he didn't get to do that had just been hung on the wall. Right. And I never wanted to experience that. When I go to rest, I wanna be like, I did it all. And I'm motivated by that because also the unknown used to scare me. But I think traveling is such an important education, educational process to teach you to embrace the unknown because the unknown is excitement, the unknown is experiences that people don't get to experience, the unknown is meeting people that are gonna help you advance in your life in a lot of different ways, the unknown is gonna allow you to learn the things that you need to learn in your business in order to grow it. The unknowns are gonna save your marriage. The unknowns are gonna save your friendships. The unknowns are gonna bring the right people into your life that actually give a damn about you. Right? ‘Cuz if you're not losing friends, you're not growing. You have to make space for these things that are going to push you in the right direction. And it's scary. Change is scary. People are afraid of change. But in order for your life to change, your day-to-day has to change the way that you perceive the world has to change. And in order to do that, you really gotta find out where your beliefs and your values and your principal stand. And it's like, are these actually serving me or is this something that I was indoctrinated by my parents, or by the school or by my boss of keeping me belittled. And people don't do it, not necessarily do it intentionally, it's a lot of this is subconscious programming that we're not even aware of. But you need to start thinking about are those are my beliefs? First of all, are they mine? Do I truly believe in them? I'm not talking about just spiritual beliefs. I'm talking about the beliefs and the world, the beliefs and money, the beliefs in relationships, the beliefs in diet, the beliefs in whatever may be like, I challenge people to write those lists down like money's a perfect example. Write down like all your beliefs around money. And Dr. talks on this in depth. It's like once you understand where those beliefs are, you can actually change the way that you perceive the world because you gotta figure out, are these my beliefs or are they not? And if they're not, you get rid of 'em or you rewire the way that you think about 'em, right? Because I always was taught money's bad, money's evil, you gotta screw somebody over or not pay somebody enough to make a lot of money. And all the rich have screwed somebody in one way or another. Well, it's true for a very small percentage, but for people that actually continue to build these massive empires and have impact and do these things, like no, they're doing stuff right and money is just energy and if you have energy, you're able to have more impact. So if you're a great person, you make more money, you're still a great person, but you can do great things with the resources because once you take care of yourself, then you can take care of your family, once you take care of your family, you can take care of your community. Once you take care of your community, you can take care of your town, your state, your country, the world. And that's allowed us to start nonprofits in Uganda and Pakistan and teach our students how to go out and have impact as well because once you're an awesome person, you have more resources, you attract more awesome people, and then you guys can go do big things together, that's all it is. So, I had to change my belief structure around it ‘cuz I grew up on a farm making five bucks an hour, and I was like, man, to make a million dollars, like I can't, I can't because I'm only in my mind, have only said I'm valued at $5 an hour and the work that I'm doing is only valued at $5 an hour. So how do I get to a million dollars a year? Well, I have to change my belief system around money, I have to get around the right people that have already done it in an ethical way, and then I need to go learn from them because when you learn from mentors, when you invest in mentorship, you are condensing your time.

So, a lot of these mentorships are coaches or people that I've had it's like they're taking their 50 years of experience and giving it to me in one seminar or giving it to me in one four hours sit down. Here's all the million-dollar mistakes or multi-million dollar mistake that I had to make and I'm gonna give it to you all right now, that's why I've paid 50 grand for a four hour consultation, that's why I've paid mentors over hundreds of thousands of dollars in a year to help me fine tune my process, to get my business, my life, my relationships to the next level because like, I don't wanna be sitting there at, you know, 65 and be like, man, I finally figured out my health, or I finally figured out my finances, or I finally figured out my relationship, or I finally figured out X, Y, Z, no, I wanna know what now I wanna have abundance in my life in all these different areas now. But in order for me to have been able to even get to that is I had to again, not let fear control me, let my ego go because a lot of the times, while we don't fix ourselves or want to fix ourselves is cuz we can't let go over ego of like, oh, I'm right about everything. You know, like, oh, my wife's always wrong, well she's the lazy one. And you know, when I come home, dinner should be on the table. Like all this like dumb sh*t that we keep telling ourselves because we don't want to be wrong, we don't wanna be weak. And I feel like people get those two things confused, like I love admitting that I'm wrong. I love taking extreme ownership because then it allows me to find the answer much quicker. If it's someone from my team or if it's my wife, or it's my business partner, it's you, I'm like, help me. I'm ready to get to that next level.

Michael: But man, it takes such a willingness to sit in that because it's so uncomfortable, especially at first. I don't would even argue, it's probably still very uncomfortable.

Chance: For sure. But when you talk about uncomfortable at first, it's like, oh, I'm being challenged and I'm gonna seem weak or whatever. But if you change your reframing around uncomfortable, you're growing when you're uncomfortable. So, now anytime I'm uncomfortable, I'm like, oh, here it comes again, I can feel it up. I gotta go get on this stage, or I gotta do this podcast, or I gotta do whatever. And it's like, oh, you're experiencing something new, this is exciting now, what used to what the uncomfortability used to be the unknown, but now I know what the unknown's gonna bring me. Now I'm excited about being uncomfortable ‘cuz I know what the outcome is. So, when we can really understand that, it allows us to step into these things. And it's just so fun.

Perfect example is like, my wife, she's always like, oh, you know, I don't like being around a lot of people and the concerts and a lot of people just kind of freaks me out. As soon as I get her to a concert, she's dancing and it's like you get her there and then she's in the moment and then she's dancing, having a great time, and doesn't want to go home. It's like you have anxiety about something that you don't know what the outcome's going to be, but you're stopping yourself from wanting to be there. And then once you get there, it's like the anxiety is really us being afraid of the future and that's all its anxiety ever is, that's all it ever is that you're there and then you're not anxious anymore.

Michael: Yeah. And that's why it drives me crazy that people are so quick to medicate and look, medication is also the fun, the girls, the drugs, the alcohol, the late night, like those are also the medications, right? Let's not get it till, I'm not talking just strictly from a prescription standpoint, and I have found, man, when I'm staring down, for lack of a better term, this concept, this tunnel of the unknown and its f*cking pitch black down there, man. I'm like, I have no idea what's down there. Do you know what I do? I call somebody who's been down that f*cking tunnel and I say, will you help me? Please. I don't know what I'm doing. And that level for me it was humility because Chance, believe it, this might surprise you ‘cuz you didn't know me 15 years ago. I was always the right one. I was always right. No matter what you told me. I'm always right. Even if I'm looking at it and it's clearly wrong if my ego had decided it is right, it is right even though it is wrong and that cost me so much, it costs me love, it cost me friendships, money, relationships, opportunities, career. It cost me potential, it cost me time, it cost my brother coming to me one day and saying, never talk to me again, it cost me everything. And then one day I was sitting and I was like, I'm gonna go down this path. I'm gonna do this f*cking sh*t, this healing. I'm gonna figure out what this is and it's tremendously uncomfortable. It sucks. It's expensive. There were periods of time talking about being flat, f*cking broke. Like I literally had to borrow money to go to therapy like I don't want people to get it twisted ‘cuz they see my life now and they're like, oh, you've been able to build success and write bestselling books and billboards and Times Square.I'm like, yeah, but you don't know what it's like to call your friend and say, Hey, can I borrow $150 so I can go to therapy this week? I will pay you back. And that to me is why I'm so willing to just go for it because I'm like, I already know what the other side is, man. I know what rock bottom is. I know what it tastes like. I don't like it. But so much of it is the doing of self, the choices I made, the decisions I made, the f*cking people I was hanging out with. And it's not to say that I don't love the certain people who are in my life, but I go look at their lives now and their lives are not different. And I look at my life now, my life is completely different. Doesn't mean I don't still, one of our mutual friends, David talks about that doesn't mean I'm not paying the dummy tax. Meltzer talks about this all the time. I'm like, dude, I'm paying the dummy tax. But that's why he mentors me, that's why Tom Bill mentor me, that's why you mentor me. I'm like, I'm not trying to f*cking figure this out on my own anymore. And it kills me that so many people do, it's like, you can consume this podcast, and I mean this seriously, you could consume the 600 plus episodes of Think Unbroken for the last five years and your life could be totally different, but then you're going to walk into another tunnel, they're coming. It's inevitable. Like cuz there's a guy, TD Jakes, you know TD Jakes?

Chance: No.

Michael: So, he is a bishop from like down south, like big booming voice. He talks like this awesome personality, larger than life Pastors church with thousands and thousands and thousands of members. And I was watching him, I don't remember, it might have been one of Cardone's events who knows where I was, I don't know, how these things are. I'm sitting in the room but he goes, one of the things you gotta understand about life is new levels, new devils. And I was like, yo, that's so true, and when you face those new devils, and it might be healing, it might be self-love, it might be, I need to go do this brain scan thingy. And it's like, are you willing to face the devil? Right. Maybe not literally, you know, maybe it's a metaphorical devil that's in your head, but there's something about that in the willingness when you are like, I'm going to address my ego.

One of the things that I had to do, this f*cked me up really bad, dude, my little brother telling me that destroyed me. I'm sure it is literally the reason my life is different today because all the other straws on the camel was doing fine, bro, we were good 50 grand in debt, 350 pounds, drinking myself to sleep, cheating on my girl, we're good, camel strong. Little brother going, f*ck you, never talk to me again. That crushed me. And you're talking about ego. What was a part of your ego that you had to give up to become who you are today?

Chance: That's a great question ‘cause I was never a person that like needed to be. Right. Like that wasn't my ego I mean, ego is always still present, there's a healthy pushing of ego that helps you show up. The ego, I feel like, it wasn't about being right, it wasn't about being like an alpha male, it wasn't about any of that type of stuff. It was more like I just had to man, I don't know, it's hard to break it out in that sequence, it was more really instead of operating in like this ease and like kind of going against the grain was like really just allowing things to like just have more ease to it and like really. I think it was like, I need to get around the right people and my ego was like, no, you're fine. And like, kind of keep me in this comfortable, like, you don't need to be around these other people. You don't need to be pushing yourself every day. It was like a more of a self-destructive ego. Like, oh, you already got it taken care of, it's already figured out. You don't need to keep investing in yourself. And that was like almost the end of, you know me at the time because David Melzer says it multiple times, it's like, you know, successful multi-millionaires these days will probably experience bankruptcy twice in their life, whether that's emotional or mental self-sabotage, which Gay Hendricks from the Big Leap talks about it as well, a lot of people talk about like the upper limiting factor where we only allow ourselves to feel so good and then we self-destruct. I feel like I got more stuck in something like that as opposed to just being more ego-driven of like the self-sabotaging, because when we're growing up, we're always struggling with something, whether it's like relationships or health or financials.

Well, for a lot of people, when they figure out financials and now all of a sudden, they got a couple hundred grand in the bank or they got a million bucks in the bank, now we try to find other ways to self-sabotage because we're always fighting to survival. Now I got enough money, enough living expenses to live off it for the next five years if I'm never made another dime, okay, now I need to go f*ck something else up in my life. Because it's just a way where that we're f*cking programmed. Right. It was like I had a great relationship with my girlfriend at the time, had great finances and then I was like, now I'm gonna put this limiting kind of cap on me not to keep growing in my entrepreneurial journey of like what's next, right? Because it's like, oh, I have enough money to sustain my lifestyle. And you talk about people that just keep pushing the envelope and just keep growing and just keep growing. And I thought it was always about the money, but no, it was like if you're not growing and moving forward, then you're in the stagnant place you actually certain parts you start dying. And I think that's where I got in a self-sabotage like yo-yo cycle where I didn't have that next goal set. I wasn't continuing to surround myself around the people that were at the next level. I think that's where ego came in for me, where I was like, nah, I'm good, like I'm good. Like I don't need to go listen to this guy's podcast anymore. I don't need to show up to the seminars. And I kind of went like living under a rock for a while and I noticed my business and quite a few things just again started to get stagnant again. I was going back to like kinda that brain state thing where once that unlocked me, I understood how I operated as a human and it was constantly being around people that were doing big things kept me inspired and kept my business growing. And so that's the thing is when you do start a business, it's always like, just keep pushing to that next level because you actually need that as an entrepreneur to keep pushing like, it is a necessity. You cannot ignore it. You have to be in the right rooms with the right people. You have to be going to seminars, you have to be continuing to invest in yourself. Especially if you're a coach or a consultant or somebody that's leading a big, big group of people like you gotta keep digging like you gotta keep investing into yourself and pouring into it because you will burn out like burnout is a real fricking thing. And I went through that as well because again, I wasn't filling the tank. I was like, putting it out to my community, building the business but I wasn't filling myself back up. And again, it was ego it was so subtle though that it started eating away at me to where I was like, I mean, there's a point in time where my wife now was like, she's like, there was a moment where we were sitting down and she was like, if life is gonna continue to be like this, like I'm gonna leave you. We're living in this beautiful beach house in Laguna, driving a nice car but I was just like working myself into the ground ‘cause I couldn't say no to projects. I was bringing on too many projects and wasn't filling my tank and just wasn't topping off. And it was like, it was eating me alive and I'd lost, I was like now I would go back and look at photos. I was like really skinny and just like living on just like tons of caffeine and just like eating sh*t food on the go. And she was like, if this doesn't change, like I'm not gonna live like this, like this is gonna be over, there's nothing left for me right now. And so that's a big thing for people to think about when we talk about the brand Abundance is like having abundance in all aspects of your life, not just in health. You know, these people that I know, they're in insane shape. But are still living paycheck to paycheck and like really struggling with it. It's like, man, yeah, all that energy that you've dedicated, you know how to get healthy in that environment, it's just applying those same principles now to the other aspects of your life, right? For you to get in insane shape, like you've figured out your own path to getting there, you're not full on one person's program. You're not like, oh, I'm just like on the paleo diet and that's like all I'm doing. It's like, no, you do all these things to operate your body in the right way, to get you in that place of insane fitness. It's the same principles you apply to business and relationships like you gotta find out how and what you need to do in order to operate your highest level. When you go in to start your own business. It's the same, same discipline, right?

So, for me, I learned, okay, because again, he goes like, finances are good, bro, everything else is, you know, it has to take a second or a third or a four seat. And I'm telling you, like my wife at the time, she was like in the third seat and she's like, I ain't doing this. I don't blame her. I needed to hear that because it was like, oh sh*t, my relationship doesn't have abundance now. And then we're always taught that it's either it's a lot of money or you're gonna have family.

Michael: I don't agree with that.

Chance: I don't either, but that's what people say. Growing up, of course, again, it's that fear, spoon-fed poverty mentality, bullsh*t that we all accept, like I said, your beliefs, right? I had taken that belief and a lot of it was from childhood. It was like, oh, if you wanna go make a bunch of money, you're never gonna see your family. And I was like, oh, now I'm living this.

Michael: Which is probably true of a farmer or son. You were faced with a decision in that moment though. So, I spent a tremendous amount of time studying humans, as a coach for now, almost eight years, and writing these books and having these conversations, this is just me studying people because my measures for people were not that good growing up. Right. You know this, everyone who listens to the show knows this. I became studious about it to the point of possible insanity, and I might be in it right now. And I mean that literally the amount of content I consume, the amount of books I read, the people, the number of people I interview, trying to always understand us better as both individuals and a collective because there are secrets, like there are secrets to life that people don't understand without diving into the nuance. And a couple weeks ago, I had a date with someone and I left and I remember thinking to myself, there were things about the way that this woman spoke. I will never go out with her again. Right? And I realized there's two, and I could be wrong, this is just my opinion on the world. There are two kinds of people in a relationship, but there's also two kinds of people in the world. And this will tie into like the fixed slash growth mindset. Carol Dweck work, right? Kind of married these two concepts and ideas. One is you have the person when they're approached in this moment, hey babe, you're working too hard. You're f*cking up the relationship. Look at you. Clothes don't even fit. You're not taking care of yourself. I'm gonna bail. What are you gonna do about it? There's two people in that moment that exist, and there may be a third, I haven't yet discovered it, so we might talk that through here. Person one, this is just who I am. Deal with it or get out. Person number two, thank you, what do you need from me? And I believe that because of that, if you can remove, and this is so ego driven, right? We're talking about this today. If you can remove that person, number one, which it's the criticism that actually is for your benefit that hurts you and recognize that's not about taking from you, it's about helping you ‘cuz dude, you can't see the forest for the trees. We're so deep in this sh*t, especially as entrepreneurs, you let us get away with it dude, we won't shower for a week. You know? We'll be in it and we've been there. And then if you're person number two and you're willing, this concept abundance, which we're gonna get into in a moment. If you're willing to accept what is in front of you, not because it's the reality you f*cking want, but ‘cuz it is the reality that is and if you step back and you go, you're right. How do I fix that? You can have everything.

Chance: For sure. I agree. You know, you're either aware or you're unaware, you're either conscious or unconscious. And a lot of people won't even hear that, they just won't even, won't even think about it for a second. Fine leave. You know, you're crazy, crazy bitch. You know? It's like, I'm tuning out. I'm gonna drink my six pack and watch my football. I'm not gonna listen to you. Right? And it's sad, but so many people stay in that place where they are completely disconnected from their partner, but they'll just stay together ‘cuz they have the fear of truly loving them and doing the work on their relationship, which we're also not taught to do in school, we're not taught to how to build a relationship and how to communicate. So at large, it's not really our fault. But what happens is at that moment, it's like a majority of people then will stay in that relationship because there's a fear of not being able to find somebody else that's like, that's gonna put up with me or that's gonna provide for me, or whatever. And so, we stand this super toxic relationship and then that just becomes our whole life, right? So again, when we're talking about fear and ego and the unknown. he more that we push that envelope, and I've seen it with my mom, or she's actually gone out and found true love after my father passed and leaving a toxic relationship to actually find a relationship where she's fell in love, but it was terrifying. She's like, this has been my whole life and this is who's taken care of me and who had my babies and all this stuff. And there's like, it's really scary and then as soon as she had the strength and the courage to go out and start dating again and be vulnerable again and fall in love again, she found love. And that's like the perfect example of it. But yeah, I mean you just gotta decide. And I think when people can really just sit back and look and just be honest with their situation and be the observer instead of the person in the victim state, there's a lot of power in that of like, because the world happens for us, not to us, and people need to really understand that like people are in a victim state of like, oh, every, everything's happening to me to me, to me, it's like, no, everything's happening for you. When you start making the right decisions in life, that current's gonna move in fast, pushing in the right direction. You hear about these amazing stories of transformation in a very short amount of time because they started asking the right questions. If you ask the right questions, the people that you're around aren't giving you the right answers, you're gonna find the people to give you the right answers. Pretty quickly. Because once you start saying, no, that's not, that's not it. You can start finding out, because so many people wanna talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and not listen, not ask questions. And that's why they keep getting their own same answers of scarcity and finances, relationships, whatever it may be. And I think that that's a super small change when people want to talk about doing the work and finding the right people. I say start asking the right questions to the problems that you have now. And if it's the people that are training you don't have the right answers, go find other people to be around.

Michael: Yeah. Part of the difficulty in that, and I agree with everything you just said, part of the difficulty is people don't know what question to ask and because they don't know what question to ask, they are asking the wrong question. And I think that was my problem for a long time like, I look at the scope of like many businesses I've run in the years that I've been an entrepreneur going into 13 now, it's like for a long time the question and this is because of the mentors I was looking at, the question wasn't how do I help people? The question was like, how do I make money? And like you can always make money, which is what I've come to discover but there's a cost for that.

Chance: But even to that point, like you were asking the right questions, but not in the right sequence. Right.

Michael: I was asking the right question, but without the right intention. And so when I found the, actually it's really about this combination of all of the above, that's how you find the right people to be around, that's how you get in synchronicity, that's how you get into the vibe of energy of people because you're in the right place at the right time because you did the right things leading up. But it it's also through the failure it's like, dude, I have f*cked up so many times, it is insane to me. And I don't mean like minor f*ck, I mean like burning down sh*t, like really f*cked up. And I think about those moments and I'm like, dude, I'm so glad that happened when I was like 24 and 31 and 35 and I know they're still going to happen, I think that I have a better way to like foresee those coming because it's like you're always laying the path, laying the path, laying the path. When you think about failure in conjunction with now having built a like sizable business, one of the things that you had to do was, as you talked about, change your mindset, lift this lid, John Maxwell principle, the law of the lids. If you're familiar with that, that's really kind of what that ego-driven stuckness can be. When you get to that place where you're at the start of, I know what I want to create abundance like how do you handle the failures at the beginning?

Chance: See, you will learn more from your failures than you will from your successes because if you get it right, you're like dope on the next, like replicate, let's go. But when you find those massive failures, especially at scale, right? Because if you're at scale, if you lose a couple dollars on a product, but you're selling a couple hundred thousand units a month at scale, you're like, now we're talking millions of dollars lost on those little failures, right? So that's was where you learn like, okay, now I'm solving this major problem in my business and that's why we love to go fast. I always talk about moving violently fast and taking imperfect action ‘cuz the faster you break it, the faster you fail, the faster you're gonna become successful and grow a business.

And again, that's that fear of failure. It's like no fail fast. You hear a lot of people say it in different ways. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail fast. I had to go through so many different businesses and so many different jobs and just like not finding like abundance and like meaning and success, but I was like, oh, I'm just doing the wrong thing like I was a musician for a long time and wanted to be a touring musician. I was on all these stages and it just like wasn't quite hidden. And I was like, now I think about it, I was just on the wrong stage. Now that I'm speaking and growing abundance and doing these podcasts, and it's like all the right people are showing up, it's like, oh, I was asking the right questions now I'm living in this life of abundance because now I'm on the right stage, I'm around the right people. Right. So, I had to go try all these other things and I did it quick like when I had these different chapters, it was like I went hardened the paint for a month or three months, or six months or a year, and I was like, not the same. Right? Boom. Yep. Eject button. Next one. And with our companies now is ‘cuz now we have like six under our abundance brand with each of those first three, 400 grand of just fail, fill, fulfill, we gotta figure out the funnel, the offer, the product, the service, the whatever and just fell it fast. But we knew on the other side of like, okay, eventually we're going to find out how to get this thing just right, where a lot of people would give up. But we had to go through that and in some cases be 500 grand in debt on a new project to realize, oh, now we're seeing on the other side where most people give up. Now we understand this part of the process that we know is gonna get us to where now that one brand is gonna do 15 million this year. Right. But it was like you had to get through that fearful 500 grand of like, it's going out, there goes another three grand of Facebook, another five grand to Google.

Michael: And it's not like that money is like not real, you know what I mean? Like, I think that something that came to mind as Cardone where he is like, you don't have a $5 problem, you have a $500,000 problem. Right. And I think people get so stuck up ‘cuz they're like, I don't want to invest $5 or 50 or 500 and it's like you started at 5k. Right. I've invested more money; we're closing in on 300,000 into my own personal journey. And again, that's not a flex. You and I have both been homeless. You and I both have done sh*t. We don't want to even say publicly to make it through. We know what it's like to struggle to do whatever it takes to survive, and I just cannot help but think how much better life is when you actually start putting yourself in those rooms, in those circles, and you're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna make money mistakes, friendship mistakes, relationship mistakes, but damn, you're gonna be better for it, man.

Chance: Yeah. Big time. And if we don't learn from our mistakes, we'll just keep living them over and over and over and over again. And when you get into like Buddhism in some of these ancient religions or theories or whatever you wanna call it, they talk about, if you don't learn this lesson in this life, you're just gonna repeat it again.

Michael: Yeah. It's ground Hulk’s Day.

Chance: Yeah. Again, and again and again. And I want you all to who's ever listening and really start thinking about that like if your life isn't where you want it to be right now, in whatever aspect that is, or the finance relationships, whatever it is. I want you to think about how many times you've been in the same situation over and over and over again and it just keeps showing up and you just keep struggling with it? Guys, I'll almost guarantee you that you have not learned the lesson from that experience yet, that's why I keep showing up because once we do, we start making those changes in our life to not experience it again. Another thing we teach in abundance, be a one mistake learner. If you made a mistake, just don't do it. Don't do it again.

Michael: Chance. I am the king of, I gotta do this nine times. Didn't sink in the first one. I'm also the kid who, despite the warnings of everyone, don't put your finger in the f*cking electrical socket, dude, literally put a fork in there. Got fried. I'll never forget that. I was like six years old. I was like, yeah, got it. Figured it out. But like, I think one of the really difficult parts about life is we are destined often to repeat our mistakes. One of the things I try to teach my clients, because we're talking mental health, we're talking about this really arduous journey, a journey that now probably more so than ever, a light is shown on it, but the lights incorrect, the light is take the pharmaceutical, you know, get all the PTO that you can, but it's not really that. It's not really that, it's the little things, it's the nuance of the day to day.

If I can stretch the window of time in which I make the same mistake, that's a huge victory. And so, if I f*ck up something today, if I cannot have that same f*ck up for 25 years, I'm gonna be pretty happy about that. And I think that people they get so caught up in like, man, this happened. But it's like you have to let go of the past. You have to be willing to sit it to the side, forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive people who hurt you in inadvertently, or perhaps purposely determine what that means for you. I think forgiveness is different for everyone and put yourself in a position where you actually take control over your life. It's easy to be the victim, dude, You have every reason to play the victim. Losing your father at 19 in that way. The reconciliation you have gone through, like, I don't wish on anyone. And you could blame that for having sh*t relationships, being a shitty dad, having sh*tty money, living a normal life, and sitting here and going, well, if my dad wouldn't have done that, this wouldn't have happened. And I can never take that away from you, bro. You could run that all day long. Run that f*cking play and I could too. I could sit here and be like, my mom was a drug addict, alcoholic, cut my finger off, beat the sh*t outta me, put me in the hospital. We were home, the whole nine. I'm not taking that away, but what if you chase the thing that you demand of life? What if you chase abundance? What if you could step into, man, I want a great relationship and great money and a great business and great friendships and a great community, I want it all. And there's something that I remember recently, my high school wrestling coach, he and I still stay in contact, he probably is going to live listen to this. So, Derek, I love you, brother, but I'm gonna say this, I had been talking about getting back into dating recently, and I kind of laid out this concept and I was like, I'm not going to negotiate with anyone about the expectations of the woman I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. And he goes, don't you think that you're being too harsh on reality? Something that I'll paraphrasing basically saying, well, you know, you should just be happy and satisfied with whatever comes your way. Not in those exact words again, I'm paraphrasing. And it was the first time I think I've ever gotten mad at him; I don't think I've ever been mad at him before. And I remember in that moment being like, no, absolutely not. I will not succumb by any scope of the imagination to allow normal to exist in my life. We are so indoctrinated into it, so stuck in it, so told, don't go for it. Chance, people are told, don't go for your dreams, from the moment that they have them and it's like, well that's one way to do it and the other way is to like re like literally go to war and I think so much of that, like going to war is within the inner battle of yourself is you have to break free. You have to break free of all the things. This has really been a big point of this conversation today is like leading into this question, I've been really curious about when you're going to war with yourself to go and build this life. How do you reconcile who you were with, who it is that you want to become? That is the place where people get stuck.

Chance: That's a great question. And I always reverse engineer the outcome and bring it back to figure out what I need to be doing day to day in order to get there ‘cuz we overestimate what we can do in a year and we underestimate, underestimate what we can do in a decade, Tony Robbins says it all the time. Because we're like, okay, I'm starting this new business. I'm gonna make a million dollars this year. I'm gonna get my dream home. I'm gonna get in shape, I'm gonna fix my relationship. I'm going to have my dream car. I'm gonna move to Florida or wherever your dream spot is, and it's all gonna happen this year. Probably not. You're gonna get overwhelmed and you're gonna start thinking all the things that have to take place in order for that to happen. Right. So, what I've done is knowing that every little thing that I do today is building towards my future. And we gotta really learn to be like long-term thinkers ‘cuz it's really easy to be short-term, we always do this short-term gain, long-term pain, right? We have to learn to flip that around. So, we sense continue to get those dopamine hits. We continue to, you know, go to seminars or go read a book or go get that dopamine hit and say, oh I'm gonna make the change and then not do it and we just do that again and again and again. And so, it's those little things that you can do every day to start pushing towards your goal. So, whatever your goal is, figure out that is and I always tell my students, you got two numbers, these are your freedom numbers. One is how much money you need to make to change your reality of whatever that needs to be, everybody has their different number. And then when is that time? When do you need to hit that number? When do you want to hit that number? ‘Cuz most people say, oh, I wanna start making 10K a month and I wanna start a business, that's great, but there's no timeline. There's no deadline, there's no urgency, there's no goal setting. Nothing is going to happen, period. You say, oh, I wanna get a six pack by when? You wanna fix the relationship with your partner by when? It's pretty simple. You gotta figure out where that time is and what that goal is, and then start working backwards so that you know what you have to do every year to get to that point, you know what you have to do to every month to get to that next year, you have to do every week to get to that month, every day to get to that week, and then every hour in your day to get to that goal. Right? And so, many people are like, I don't have time and that automatically takes all of your power away because even when you're going to work 40 hours, you're going to the gym seven hours a week, you got 40 hours of miscellaneous work hanging out with your kids, whatever it is, you got 56 hours that you're sleeping, you still have 25 extra hours in your week, 25 hours to do it, whatever you want. And the trap that I kept falling into is in those hours, like I'm going to relax and we start taking our mini vacations and our mini retirements, I call them in those 25 hours instead of building our empire. And like if you dedicate like, and especially with the internet, everything that we teach at abundance and how much knowledge there is out there in our network and the people that I know, you could literally, anybody could sit down in the next one to two years and dedicate yourself to creating a business and set yourself up for the rest of your life. That's the beautiful, amazing world that we live in right now. Back in the day, during the Industrial revolution, you could like to make a million dollars, you needed a massive farm, you needed a massive factory, you needed a lot of people working for you like it was really hard to make that kind of money. Now, in today's day and age, with all the drag and drop software’s and the funnels and the like, I mean, you can launch a product in a couple of days and find a drop shipper and a white labeler and a marking, like whatever you want to bring to market that adds value like you can build that sh*t overnight these days. Like, it's so insane, just with me wanting to launch a podcast and didn't know how to do it or whatever, we met and you're like, bro, this what you need to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you saved me hours, days, probably years of trying to f*cking figure, figure it out. But I was like, no, how do I do it in the best way and make this thing like get my message out there and you're like, boom, this is what you do. It's like you guys can literally, in the next one to two years, set yourself up for the rest of your life. And if you build a business for yourself, like people talk about, that's really scary. The thing that's terrifying for me is that there's only one employer responsible for my paycheck. I'm saying like when you're working for somebody and you got that one check, that's terrifying. But when you can go out there and you have multiple clients or you have multiple people you're mentoring or multiple people you're coaching, or multiple products that you're selling, multiple events, you're selling whatever it is. Like those are multiple streams of income coming in inside of one business. And before the internet and before all the information that we have now to really set up those multiple streams of income, you need a completely different industry, a completely different arm, a completely different whatever. But nowadays it's like, man, these companies that you see that are scaling extremely fast, like they're just staying in their lane and just adding more value to a product that they already understand, that's so amazing.

Michael: Entrepreneurship is never easy, so let's not get it twisted. But the access to entrepreneurship is easier than it's ever been. When I started my first legal business when I was 25. Right? And you had to do everything, I had to learn how to code on WordPress, I had to learn how to do, ‘cuz I made t-shirts for this company that I created and I had to learn how to press the T-shirts and ship them and pack them. And I had to go pay all this money for these software’s and like, I remember we made our first sale, the day we launched, the day we launch. And I just thought to myself, this is incredible, right? And it was like, I think people get stuck because they have the dream but their TV is 70 inches and it's way easier to go sit in front of that and zone out and disappear ‘cuz life is stressful. Life has never not been stressful. I don't know what time in human history when life was not stressful, but what I do know is like life is, it is the safest time in history. Ever. No questions asked.

Look, America's the greatest propaganda machine ever. I love America. Let's not get this twisted. This is the greatest country, unplanned earth. Point blank period, nobody even comes close. But damn, if you aren't paying attention, you are in trouble. So, as we kind of tell off into this, because that could turn to a tangent, we'll be here for another two hours, when you think about this journey and stepping into abundance, you use the word freedom. I think, that might be the greatest fear for people because in order to have freedom, and this is my belief, you have to step out of the matrix. What does freedom mean to you?

Chance: Freedom is literally being able to go wherever I want with whoever I want and do whatever I want. Like that is what true freedom is to me, to be like family, pack your bags, we're freaking going to Europe for the summer. I'm going to, you know, this was the last-minute trip. I was like, I'm gonna Vegas for 24 hours. I'm gonna go see my buddy, Michael. We're gonna hang out, have a great time. I'm gonna go see my buddy, Johnny. I'm gonna go be on this other podcast with John. I'm gonna eat lunch and not even look at my phone. Nobody's telling me what the f*ck to do. That's freedom. And like, that's why I go to battle every single day. And for motivation, when I am in my hometown, I drive past the old restaurants I used to work at. I drive past the alley that I used to sleep in the back of my truck. Next to these now are million-dollar homes I drive past and remember those days, they're like, that is why you show up every day. You're like, you ain't going back to that and you ain't gonna put your family in that position. Right. Because that's heartbreaking like the other day I was like, there's just so much going on. I was like having a bit of like a challenge, like motivation to get this next training done, it was a big undertaking. And my son, he figured out how to open up my door and he opens up the door into my office and comes flopping in and crawls pick over and looks up to me and he like, he looks up to me for everything. And then I'm like sitting there thinking like, bitch, you didn't wanna f*cking show up today for your son. Like you wanna put him back in like some little single why that we used to live in? Or like not give him every opportunity possible on this planet, like grow the f*ck up. And it was in that moment where, and you gotta have these moments and they'll keep coming back. It was a time I think about man, I didn't know that I had this in me to be this leader and grow multiple eight figure businesses and change people's life and have impact and being invited on shows and being able to meet amazing people like you and being able to speak on these great stages and be working on a book and all these things, it's like I didn't know that that was even freaking possible ‘cuz it's all the unknown and all the shit that I, that scared the living shit outta me were actually the things that gave me everything that I wanted in this life and more like when I look back on, when I first started my first business, I would've never in my wildest dreams imagined what my reality is today. And that's really what I tell people like looking at, it's like the sh*t that you fear the most, your freedom, everything that you want is right on the other side of that false fear. And I know that sounds cliche and whatever, but I think skydiving is the perfect thing to really put that into reality, it's like the first time I went, it was like I didn't sleep the two nights before I was like freaking out. I was like, man, I'm jumping out of an airplane with a stranger that I don't know, with a pilot that I don't know, in this old freaking airplane in the middle of the desert. I was like, this is a lot of sketchy sh*t. And so that's, I was like thinking about it, thinking about thinking about it. And I kept there and then jumped out and I was like the greatest feeling I've ever experienced in my entire life, literally flying through the air being in a place where humans are not supposed to be. Like that is a perfect expression of the freedom on the other side of this false fear wall that we create for ourselves. And when you can really break through that, it's just like the most insane feeling, it feels like you're high all day long. Like I was always like chasing the dragon, trying to find the next dopamine high, the next whatever, this is what I was chasing. And it doesn't come from drugs, alcohol, sex, not even money. It's just that freedom of choice of being able to do what you want when you want with whoever you want is what life's all about because then you're able to really plan out your life to have impact and be around the people that you want that keeps giving you that energy to really do what you're supposed to be doing. And like I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Michael: Yeah, I love that man, that's a great definition. And I am in a full agreement with you for asking my last question. Tell everyone about abundance and where they can learn more?

Chance: Yeah. So, we're gonna create a link for you that they can join below where you guys are gonna get a lot of awesome stuff from our team. We just add so much value to you guys. So, what you do at Abundance is you actually take an entrepreneurial quiz, we're the only one that has one online where we've spent the last like year putting this together after analyzing like 150,000 students, we figured out like why people were becoming successful in business and why they weren't worked with like some of the top personality, like creators out there and created the first entrepreneurial archetyped quiz. So, you take it, you figure out what you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and then based on that, you actually go through our abundance training, where we teach you about mindset reshaping reframing your beliefs, I've talked about a little bit on here. And then really how to find like the right path for you with where you're at based on your time, your resources, your knowledge, your network, based on all those things. We have at this point, seven different online businesses where you can create semi passive to passive income. And it's not just like, hey, this is like the next cool thing to teach and talk about. It's like, no, we've partnered with leaders in these different industries that have already done multiple six figures, some of them have had exits and they have come back to like really teach people how to get off on the right foot so, it's not guesswork. I mean, at this point we've taught over 35,000 people how to start online business and it's these huge communities of theirs 15, 20 coaches in each of those communities helping you along the way. And we knew it wasn't just mentorship and teaching and online education, it needed to be a community, it needed to be a lot of people rolling in the same direction. It needed to be culture, it needed to be events, it needed to be these things because I'd experienced those different elements in different areas of my life, searching for something great. And I knew if it was all in one place, we would just help people find freedom, whatever that means to them in a much faster way. So, that's what you get at abundance, you helped us with our podcast that's gonna be coming out soon and like I said, we'll drop the link. So, we'll give you guys a bunch of awesome stuff and add tons of value to your life just by going to abundance, by going through the unbroken link. And uif you guys come join us, I look forward to getting to know you and we're gonna keep growing this thing. And you know, our goal is to teach 1 million people to be financially free so that they can go out and have impact in the world.

Michael: Love it. And I obviously support that deeply. I love the mission. My last question for you, my friend, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Chance: You told this to me and I've been, you asked me this and I was like, man, I gotta come up with a good one ‘cuz I'm sure you heard some great ones after 661 episodes. I'm sure people have brought some fire to this question.

To be unbroken, honestly, you really gotta get broken to be unbroken, you gotta hit rock bottom, you gotta know where that's at to find out truly who you are. I wasn't able to truly love until my heart was broken. I wasn't really truly ever to like experience life until my heart was broken, because I just learned to love it like such a deeper level, and I feel like people are so afraid, and I was of being broken to really find out of how I could build myself up to be unbroken and now I'm unshakable. It's like my emotions do not control me. People do not control me. The government does not control me. The banks don't control me. The media does not control me. Instagram does not control me. And I really feel like that's what the definition of unbroken is, is I know who I am, but I had to go through those broken times to really figure out where I stood and who I am today. And so, that's what unbroken means to me.

Michael: Beautifully said my friend. Thank you so much for being here.

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