Three Steps to Building Confidence After Trauma
In this insightful episode, trauma survivor and coach Michael Unbroken shares 3 transformative strategies to help you develop self-love and healing after experiencing trauma or abuse. Discover... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/three-steps-to-building-confidence-after-trauma/
In this insightful episode, trauma survivor and coach Michael Unbroken shares 3 transformative strategies to help you develop self-love and healing after experiencing trauma or abuse. Discover how cultivating self-compassion through kindness, understanding and patience can radically shift your mindset. Learn the crucial role of boundary-setting for self-protection and surrounding yourself with a supportive environment. Michael also emphasizes the immense value of seeking professional support from therapists or coaches who specialize in trauma recovery. With compassion and wisdom from his own healing journey, Michael empowers you to become the hero of your story and achieve lasting inner peace.
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What is up, Unbroken Nation! Hope you guys are doing well.
In today's episode, I'm gonna talk to you about “Three Ways That You Can Love Yourself After Trauma and Abuse.” If you do not know this, by the way, you can schedule a FREE coaching call with me literally at any time, if you just go to thinkunbroken.com
People ask me all the time; how do you actually learn to love yourself? How do you heal after trauma and abuse? How do you let go of the impact of the past? How do you become the hero of your own story? How do you get unstuck? How do you become unbroken?
Well, I'll tell you this, it's a lifetime of work and you've heard me say this before, I'll never pretend that it's not, but I also want to give you something tactical and practical that here in just a couple of minutes we can take away and use in your day.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF AFTER TRAUMA AND ABUSE
- Self-Compassion
- Kindness
My friends, I cannot tell you how important, incredibly, unbelievably important it is to show kindness, understanding, and patience towards yourself. First and foremost, kindness because guess what? You're going to make mistakes, and if you're always beating yourself up because of the make mistakes that you make, and you're not operating through a scope of kindness, you'll never put yourself in a position to be successful because you'll always be continuing to beat yourself up. So kindness first in this self-compassion concept.
- Understanding
We are analytical beings as just what it is that we are built and create as humans. We have an analytical brain. Do we make emotional decisions and thought processes, of course we do, but ultimately, we're always evaluating and making meaning. As we're very analytical, it's like, can you leverage some understanding? And in that, give yourself space to be able to acknowledge the pain of the emotions that arise when you have grief, when you feel like you're not giving yourself the same level of care. The understanding is about just pausing and looking back and going, yeah, this is happening right now, and being like, it's okay that it's happening again leveraging that idea of kindness again.
- Patience
It's going to take a lifetime. I do believe this, and I know that's not the thing people want to hear, but because there is an exponential and compounding effect in this journey, every single time you show up, every single time, you deploy kindness, every single time you deploy understanding, and you leverage patience. The exponential growth of your healing journey doubles, quadruples, and exponentially impacts you in ways that you can't even understand yet. And the only way that that works is by being patient, because here's what's really interesting is you may go for two years, or four years, or eight years of this journey, and then suddenly everything is different. But in the reality of the journey, it has been the two years, the four years, the eight years of doing the work, consistently showing up every single day in and out, that actually leads you down this path. And so, when you think about self-compassion, it really is about kindness, it's about understanding and patience.
- Setting Boundaries
I talk about boundaries all the time, and the reason why I'm bringing this up again is because arguably it's one of the most important cornerstones in the healing journey because if you put boundaries into your life, if you create a scope of boundaries, one of the things that will happen is you'll realize that two things. One, you will understand who is constantly crossing your boundaries, habitual line steppers, and then you'll also more importantly, build confidence in yourself because you'll start to recognize that your boundaries are based on your own needs, desires, limits, and communication. And what happens as you become more communicative in this, you begin to assert yourself as someone who has boundaries, thus creating and building more confidence. And so, when you are saying no at first, it's going to feel uncomfortable, I promise it because you're gonna be like, I don't wanna do that, that's not how I wanna show up, that's not how I want to exist. And then what will happen is you'll start to understand, and this is what's beautiful in this journey, that the more you say no, and the more that you are uncomfortable, the quicker back to that point of exponential growth that you're able to keep your boundaries in place thus leading to on a long enough timeline, a situation where you're surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who both respect your boundaries and prioritize both their and your self-care in your day-to-day, because your wellbeing is going to supersede what they want or what they need out of you. And setting boundaries is not selfish, I promise you. It is not. It is self-love at its finest, and more so it's self-protection because when you put boundaries and you're in place, it is you who controls your future and your destiny.
- Get Professional Support
Now, I've shared in my journey of my own healing from abuse and trauma that it was a very intricate process, that there were a myriad of supportive professionals in my life who helped me go down this path. And there's nothing better for you than a qualified mental health professional who has been there before you, who can walk down this tunnel with you and guide you into what they understand about change and how you facilitate growth after trauma and abuse
Now, many of you know, and I've said this before, If I could go back in time, I actually would've gotten a coach before I got a therapist. And the reason I say that is because, and this is just for me, I needed behavioral changes much more than I needed emotional identification at the start of this. And so, I think I would've saved myself a little bit of time had I been able to be with a coach where I said, here's my problem, can you offer me a solution? Hold my hand and guide me through this. And so, if that's a place where you find that you need support, go to thinkunbroken.com. You guys can hop on a FREE coaching call with me whenever you would like, absolutely FREE. No worries. If you need help, if you need support, reach out. So thinkunbrokenpodcast.com or thinkunbroken.com for that scheduling. It's right there. You can't miss it.
So, if you go the other route, right? Let's say it's the opposite. You've been in therapy for a while, but you're not really getting the outcome that you're expecting. It's okay to change therapists. This might actually become a form of self-love and self-care for you, because I will tell you right now, I have been able to work with multiple incredible therapists in different modalities from CBT to EMDR, there's so many, but at this point in my life, I've now worked with probably eight to 10 different therapists in different modalities. Gestalt was one that for me, really became a game changer. I really was allowed and use my analytical brain and mind in that practice. And then I've even done just traditional talk therapy where I'm just like, I need a couch. I need to complain. I need to understand, I need to vent, I need to grieve for whatever that is.
And so these are the three things that I think that one can do in order to start to create self-love for themselves after trauma and abuse. Number one again, and most importantly, have self-compassion, leverage that kindness, understanding, and patience. Number two is set those boundaries. Remember those boundaries are for you, they are not for them. And number three, get professional support in this journey because I can tell you right now, if you do not try to do this alone, you will exponentially grow and heal in a way that you don't even understand yet.
My friends, thank you so much for being here.
I hope you found a lot of value and support in this today.
If there's anything I can do, reach out to me michael@thinkunbroken.com or @MichaelUnbroken on all the socials. I will respond to you. We will connect. I will do my best to serve you.
And Until Next Time.
My Friend, Be Unbroken.
I'll See Ya.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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