Unlock Your True Potential | Discover How to Pursue Your True Calling | with Dylan Vanas

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with you with another episode with my guest and friend, Dylan Vanas. My man, what's going on? How are you today?

Dylan: Good man. Good to see you and good to be here.

Michael: Yeah, it's an honor to have you buddy, thank you for coming to the studio, we're here in beautiful, warm, sunny Las Vegas today. And you and I got the privilege of connecting a few months ago at a conference, and I thought to myself, man, this is a guy who has been able to figure out how to step into building and creating a life that he wants. And I think that's ultimately the thing that all of us are seeking but before we step down that path, tell us, if someone were to understand who you were in a sentence, how would you describe yourself?

Dylan: So, there's the physical stuff on what I'm doing, right? So, I am an entrepreneur, but the reality is like, what is like, who am I really? And so like, I'm an entrepreneur, but I love people, love helping people and my mission is to really become the best version of myself, to be a living, breathing example that other people can elevate their lives. And I get that vibe from you too and there's something I think about quite frequently about energy. And we might be these physical beings, but we're energetic and like attracts like, you know, it's the same way as you can be in the car and somebody's four lanes over and you look and then they look back and you're like, well, how the hell did that happen? Well, that's energy and I felt your energy when we met. I was like, I know that you're a person who is actually trying to do something of value for the world. And so, I'm wondering like, where does that come from for you? Where is the moment in your life where you were like, actually, I wanna figure out how I become the best version of myself so I can serve and go and make the world a better place?

Dylan: So, I have four core values in my life. The top two are interchangeable and they change depending on where I'm at. It's growth and freedom. So, for me,like, I seek ultimate freedom to like, just be free, do what I want, have the money to be able to do what I want. And so, I think there was something probably in my life, my childhood where I was like, you know, I probably didn't feel that and so, I started wanting to seek that. And then, growth is like, I'm from Canada, I'm from Vancouver, but even when I was trying to grow, it's like a decent sized city, I felt like capped there, there was like a limit to it. And so,I wanted to break free and so that's when I got into business and entrepreneurship ‘cuz I was like, what's the thing that I can do where I can create freedom in my life? My dad's a dentist, his dad was a dentist. And so naturally I'm supposed to be a dentist, but obviously I'm not. And so, I kinda went on this journey of like, there's a book called The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho. And I read that when I was recommended that I probably read it when I was like 18. The journey of the boy who goes through life and he's basically like following the omens and each omen is a sign of like the next place he goes in his life. But the thing that's really interesting is like, at the end of it, the thing he was searching for was ultimately like back where he started. And I read that book and for me it was like, what are the omens telling me in my life right now? And how can I go on a journey to become like that best version of myself? And even if it ends up just taking me back to where I started, there's something more to life like you said, we're not just these meat suits that we're sitting in. There's a lot more happening behind the scenes. And so, let me just tap into that a little bit and let me just like take a chance on myself, a chance on life and let's follow what I wanna do.

Michael: I read that book for the first time when I was 28, a friend had given it to me. I'd started getting deeper into my healing journey and at that point in my life, I honestly, I felt like the world was completely against me. But there was a line in it, which I often reference on this podcast, probably 8,000 times now, that the universe is always conspiring in your favor and I think about that, Dylan, literally every day of my life. People read books all the time, they listen to podcasts, they go to conferences, they do the events, and they do nothing with the information or the data that they consume. What gave you the courage to have the willingness to go down the path?

Dylan: So, I think a lot of people in our life like, were suffering, right? Like this human experience is innately a suffering experience in many ways. And at least for me, I felt the need to kind of like look and point blame as to why I'm not where I want to be and find reasons outside myself. And then, I kind of learned about this concept called accountability, where let me take ownership for stuff and let me take ownership of literally everything in my life, like if I get in a car accident that someone hit me, let me find a way to take ownership of this because what happens is then it goes from life happening to me to life happening, well, maybe it's by me. There is a bridge between that we would go from life happening to me, life happening for me, which is kind of what you said with the Alchemist, which is the universe is conspiring for us. But if we can go through to the point where life is happening by me, we're no longer a victim of our circumstances, but a creator.

And so, when I learned about this accountability, so you're telling me if I take ownership of like my life and what the stuff that's happened to me, maybe I can then create a solution to change it. And so, I started just owning everything good, bad, and it allowed me to just like to feel comfortable to take, to move in the right direction.

Michael: What were the bad things that you had to own? Because it's different for everybody. What were the parts of yourself where you're like, if I don't f*cking fix this, I'm in trouble.

Dylan: I was a bully. And I didn't know I was a bully, isn't that funny? I was sitting in my car with one of my friends, we were like about to go out to a club one night. I think we were like; we were outside of high school; we were like 1920 or something like that. And I was like, wasn't it amazing, our school had like no bullies. And he's like, dude, like you were the bully. And I started to like, think back to this like bully behavior, which I learned bullies hit first because they're scared, they're gonna get hit. So, what that is, it's like I was attacking other people and not physically for me what it was, it was more in the sense of like the class clown where I'd make a joke. But the thing is, I'd make a joke at, let's say Johnny and you know, me and the rest of the class would laugh and then like, the next week I make a joke about Sally and me and the rest of the class laughs except for Johnny and Sally. Well, if you do that enough times now, I've poked fun at, made fun of like the majority of the class and now instead of it's me against them, it's them against me. And I had that turning point in high school where I had, you know, looking back, I'd pissed off enough people accidentally through trying and seeking for attention and seeking to be worthy and approved by them that I then had made enemies and I ended up being alienated and in not really having a friend group. And so that took me into like really like, work and then from there, I started hanging out with the wrong people cuz like, the only people that would let me into their friend group were, the wrong people and it was just a search for meaning, it was a search for significance. And I f*cked up, you know, I made mistakes along the way. And so that was one of the first things I had to own like, dude, maybe you're not likable, maybe people don't like you and maybe it's because you're mean to them. And so, from there I could kind of change my behavior where it's like, let me see, like, how am I being mean or how am I bullying people and how can I start to accept people? What's going on internally? Why am I doing this? And I started going on a spiritual journey. And that is when my personal spiritual journey really started. And I started learning about this stuff called the law of attraction was one of the first things. But then like this thing called energy, it's like, aura chakras, hmm, interesting. And then, now I have an understand, not a deep understanding by any means, but I understand that this is our current reality, but this isn't what is really there.

Michael: I remember these moments when I was a kid, and having been both bullied and becoming the bully and then getting deeper into this healing work. Right? Which I think is massively important because most of the time that's learned behavior. We see it in our homes, we see it in our peer groups and sometimes it's the thing that we move towards because we're like, this makes me feel good for eight seconds. I never actually said this one time publicly, there was this girl in high school who was pretty overweight and she was reaching into this cabinet in the class and ‘cuz I heard this on like f*cking Jay and Silent Bob movie. And like knowing in retrospect like that's probably not the best place for source material, I go and loudly Dylan, everyone, you could probably hear this down the whole f*cking street, I go, there's no snacks in their lunchbox. And I remember like the laughs of all of the room were like huge and huge and I can't imagine the pain that I caused that girl, even to this day it bothers me. I tried to find her on Facebook, I couldn't find her, I was gonna apologize. And I remember like knowing that for myself as a child, I bullied people because I was bullied at home. My parents, my friends, my peers and it felt like, like what you had mentioned, there's something about you do this, you get the laugh and you feel good for five seconds, and then you get the reflection, somebody comes to you and like, dude, you were the f*cking bully. And it was never physical for me and kind of really shaped my life when I was about 27 and I was sitting in therapy or I was reading a book, something about it and one of the questions in it was, why do you behave the way you behave? And I remember that really transforming me. And so, I'm curious, like, as you kind of got into that, and I don't necessarily want you to go into the details, it's up to you. What was the transformation from that moment sitting in the car and you coming to have that realization? Like, what was the experience you were having with yourself?

Dylan: It's the first thing was shock, right? And surprise, and then like, I think we go through these, this level of like, like, is that true? Is it not true? Like, I don't believe it. But then once I came to accept it, and this was all a matter of seconds, right? I'm going through all these things in my head and I'm like, then I realized, you're right. And the most mind-blowing thing happened that night. We went out to the bar we were going to, and in Canada you can drink at 19. So, like everyone's like, you know, 19, 20-year-olds at the bar and I saw this kid now, this kid that got guy, I mean, he's my age. He had gone off to Europe to study and I guess he was back for summer or whatever. The chances of me seeing him was like pretty unlikely and let alone that night. This is a kid that I remember bullying, like, in a sense of, I wouldn't have called it bullying, right. For me, it's just like me and the boys like, we're ripping on each other. But when it's not someone that's my friend, I guess, the difference, right? We're bullying him. And this kid was like he was like, good looking like the girls, like super popular, the girls loved him and really, I was envious of that, right? And so as a way to try to pull him down to try to be like, you know, to try to make myself feel better, I used to joke and tell him like, he's gay, you're gay and I didn't think he was gay. Right. Well, I saw on social media, like x amount of time later, that he came out as being gay. And so here I was in high school, in my mind, like, again, this is not intentional, but my mind, it was like me being funny and like all this stuff lighthearted, but I was literally like picking on someone as a joke. But later it came out that he really was gay and I saw him and I saw him and I was like, dude, like I went right up to him and I said, dude, I'm so sorry by the way, I saw you came out and I just wanted to let you know, dude, I apologized, like I can't even believe what I caused you.

And he looked at me and was like, dude, let me buy you a beer and he like, bought me a drink and like, we talked for a little bit and that was it, it was like the instant forgiveness. And it's like, I had more hard feelings about the situation than he did and seeing someone come at it with that kind of character was like, I guess that was a pivotal moment in my life where I was like, wow, like, this guy's forgiving me. You know what that means? It means I can forgive myself for like all the other stuff, all the stuff in my life that I had been holding up to or feeling bad about. If this kid who I did these actions to can do that like, you know what's possible. So yeah, I mean that was huge for me, really knowing and I think those two things happening in the same night, pretty much back-to-back allowed me to see people in the world in a different way.

Michael: I was having a conversation with someone the other night, who's very close to me about the word destiny and thinking about the universe and the way that we live is to some extent, even though I want to fight it like oddly predetermined, even though I really believe in free will and red pill, blue pill, like let's get out of the matrix, blah, blah, blah, you know, Neo choose your destiny. But there's a scene in that film where in the matrix where Neo's in the back of the car with Trinity and it's before he is meeting Morpheus for the first time and he is ready to get outta the car and it's this rainy night and this dark path down this bridge, and he puts his hand on the door to leave Trinity goes, you've been down that path before, you know what's down there. And I think about that constantly. We have so many opportunities presented to us from the universe, God, spirit, mother, nature, I don't know, whatever you wanna call it, right? But there's the decision to be made and you used a word that I think is twofold, one, vastly overused and two, incredibly underrated. It is such an interesting juxtaposition, and that word is forgiveness. And so, I'm wondering for you, what has forgiveness meant for you in your life?

Dylan: So, the idea of forgiveness is that someone or something wronged me, and I'm like accepting the fact that they wronged me, but I'm making the statement that, you know, it's okay now. Like I'm not going to hold those feelings or those resentments or whatever that is. Now, is that the best method? If we think someone wronged us and we're forgiving them, we're accepting the fact that we think they wronged us, which means we're back to the victim standpoint. I like to live in the creator standpoint, so if we're forgiving something, I want to make sure what it is, is like, you know, we were in this instance, something happened and I'm forgiving the pain, I guess. I know I haven't thought much about that word before, so it's a powerful, maybe like, loaded question, but I think it's like the dissipation of that energy or the anger or the negative emotions tied to some kind of instance.

Michael: You mentioned at the bar, having the bear and being forgiven. Do you believe that had you not made that decision, you would be where you are right now to go up and talk and apologize, seeking forgiveness?

Dylan: Probably not. Maybe in a different path or a different journey, but it's crazy how little things like that like in fact, many of the people who have had the biggest impact on me will never have any idea. I think this is probably the first time publicly I've spoken about that, I've spoken about it with friends before, but he's not, probably not gonna see this. And ultimately, it's not like I'm saying this for him or for any of that like the little choices we make in life create, really create these, is it free will? Is it destiny? I don't know, like this path of life we're in, is there a world where there's like millions of little other fragments of like, other paths I could have gone on? Or is this path, was it written and I'm just going through it, experiencing it? Who knows?

Michael: Yeah. I mean, you don't, that's what's so fascinating about, I often think like on my deathbed, as I pass into whatever's next, God will be there the whole time. Be like I was trying to tell you, and I think to ignore the signs is, is dangerous, right? Because the only way that you create change in your life is by creating change like you have to be willing to accept the fallibility. And one of the things that I've often experienced is my character historically has been stubborn as f*ck and I've been that way as a defensive mechanism. And I had a conversation with someone the other day that very likely changed my life, I'm still processing, so I won't get into the full details, but effectively it was about the reflection of the simplicity of the actions, right? And looking at life and saying, is this thing that I'm doing really truly moving me forward? Because I think that a lot of times, we feel like we're moving forward, but we're not, we're kind of stagnant. Right. You said something really powerful that sat with me that I try to teach my clients when I coach them, when they come into our coaching program, and that is, you need to leave where you are because you're going to reach the ceiling. You have that experience in Vancouver looking, feeling like there's nothing else here for me, most people stay.

The vast majority of people on planet Earth, and I'm talking about like 78%, this is a stat that I saw, I want to say was the Huffington Post. Don't butcher me if I'm wrong, by the way, cuz it might be 70%, I don't know. But I am saying that the vast majority of all human beings live in this world right now within 10 miles of where they grew up. And I think to myself all the time, like there is something about the exploration of discovery and who you are by packing up your sh*t and walking into the unknown, that's going to give you the ability to really find yourself. So, I'm curious, how did you know you were reaching the ceiling in Vancouver, and then how did you know that you needed to make a different decision?

Dylan: I was ready for more, like there's like deep within myself this yearning. It's like there's something more I want for my life and look like, there's a million things I could have done in Vancouver, but for some reason I was drawn elsewhere. I started the business when I was in my third year of college and that business, the nature of it was effectively traveling so I was traveling around doing sales. And so, I started the business and then, you know, I basically was in a different city every weekend for the next like two years, the business actually became pretty successful quickly. So, I just dropped outta college and I had one year left and dropped out and I said, my dad didn't talk to me. He's like, dude, you're not gonna be a dentist now, what's the future of the family business? And I was like, gimme a year to become like financially independent, like, then let's talk and if not, I'll go back to school. Well, I didn't go back to the school actually, I did go back, I went online to finish it off to make him happy, and then it took too much of my time, so I dropped out a second time, I figured I'd piss him off even again if I could. But it was that search for war right deep within the fire inside me that was like, dude, I gotta do something else, I did it. I found the vehicle and then it just became like what you said is if you're not like breaking, moving, for me, I believe the same thing. I hate to tell someone that I work with like move ‘cuz like my mom, her heart was broken when I left. And then like my family, I barely see them like they're getting older, I've had one of my grandparents pass away during Covid that I didn't get to see and all this stuff but also this is like, this is my journey. This is my omens. This is my alchemist. But when you leave your situation, when I left my situation, all of a sudden, the stories I was telling myself that were being reinforced by the people, my parents, my family, my friends, those all went away. And I'm not having these stories be reinforced cuz all of a sudden, I'm have new stories that new people are telling me based on the new version of myself. See I wanna become someone new and someone better. Let me go create that somewhere else and then build a life where the people around me are reinforcing that and then I can become that. Right? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's not the fake it till you make it thing. It's like, just go be someone different and you'll attract those friends in those social circles and I'm like, it's way different. But I don't think my social circle and the people I surround myself and my network would be as high level if I stayed in Vancouver, because I would've been hanging out with the guys I went to the bar with, I would've been hanging out with my old friends like that would've been my circle and it would've stayed that way. But when I came out here, all of a sudden, I'm a high level person, I'm running businesses, and I just find the people that were doing the same thing, and then through that one thing happens that's positive and we just keep stacking the positive traits.

Michael: This is now probably close to 25th City I've lived in around the world in the last 10 years, from all over Asia to South America, to the West Coast, to the Midwest, and everywhere in between because I'm constantly in seeking of the thing that I know is out there. And I think people get caught up because it's like you're and I'm curious if your father really truly stopped talking to you over that because people get stuck in this idea of creating and fulfilling the prophecy that's predetermined from other people, and that feels so dangerous to me. And maybe I'm contrarian, maybe it's also because I had absented parents and I was out in the streets when I was eight years old doing crazy sh*t. But part of me really, truly feels like the stories, you said that a moment ago; the stories that we hear from our community, our family, the people closest to us, like, dude, these are stories they tell us to protect us. But all they're doing is stopping us, it's fascinating to me when I really look back and think about how many people in the world are dentists right now, and they hate themselves, they hate their lives, they're always living into the dreams of other people. Maybe it's their father, and that's a level of combat, like emotional combat that is painful, it is cutting, it gets you in this way where you can't even really understand how to navigate the world. But yet for some, you said, I still am going to do this. So, I'm wondering what was that like for you, like navigating that experience, removing effectively the lineage, the family, business, the legacy of your grandfather and so forth, how do you navigate that not only a man, but as a human being to be like, this is where I'm going and I understand that you don't like it?

Dylan: Yeah. Well, my dad's amazing. I would say him and I both think that we have a really strong relationship now, but did I have daddy issues? I mean, maybe, you know, like I guess dude, everyone has shit going on. But I was seeking for something and I wanted that from him and he was seeking for something from me, and he wanted that from me, and we just were out of alignment and that was it. Not that either one of us was wrong, it was just like he wanted the studious, you know, whatever and I was like the opposite. So, I went and did my own thing and then I went through a period of time where I was really trying to hone in on the relationship with my dad's like, how can I make this better and build to foster this connection? Cause I know it's important.

One of my mentors at the time, like literally my dad would send me a message and my instinct would be like, cool. And like my dad would send me like a nice little paragraph, whatever, explaining life and whatever's happening with the family. And he would sit there and he's like, no, dude, like write this and he would like, we put together like a better paragraph and send it then my dad would engage. But what I saw is like I was putting all this effort to try to build this relationship with him, and it wasn't working until something changed. And what changed was I said, let me just live my life, let me live for me, let me be my best self and live in my joy. And I kind of, I accepted my dad as doing his thing and I can't change that, he can't change me. Well, about 12 months later, I heard through proxy from someone else that my dad had told some of the people at his office. He said, in my next life, I wanna be Dylan because what had happened is I was living my journey, I was happy, I was doing what I wanted to do, not what I was told through the system. And all of a sudden, my dad looks at me and he's beyond proud in fact, he's some element of envious of like me going on my journey. And I know these things, had my dad not gone the path of being a dentist, like I probably wouldn't be here right now, but he would be doing something that he really loved. Dentists have the number one, I think it's the number one rate of suicide in professions, which is crazy. But now it's like he looks at me as a spark of inspiration. He came down here to visit me, my mom and my dad a few months back and I had a book by a friend of mine, John Gordon, I think it was positive thinking. I mean, he's written like 50 books. Him and his wife Catherine are awesome. Catherine actually sent me the books, it was sitting there and my dad just picked it up, was like, oh, this is cool. And he read through it, finished it in like a day and his whole thing is like, every time he's faced with the situation, he's like, how would he literally told me this? He's like, he thinks, how would Dylan handle it? Because he sees me as a light of optimism and positivity when he has more pessimism and or realism, you know, and that's pretty cool.

Michael: Yeah, that's really incredible. And I mean, to be able to build and create a relationship like that despite, going in your own direction and filling the slings and arrows of that. I mean, that's what I think about all the time, it's like you still have to go for it despite the world because my biggest fear on f*cking planet Earth is that I will die with regret, that I will have things unsaid, missions undid, relationships unbuilt, and that I will look back and go, I wish I would've done that thing. And I think the, I wish is a dangerous place to exist, it's like in a Napoleon Dynamite, Uncle Rico's like, if coach would've put me in the game, I would've won it and it's like, dude, maybe but also you didn't like work your f*cking face off to be the guy who gets put in the game. And I think people fail to remember this aspect, it's like you can have the dream that you want, you can do it like you can literally do it. If anyone has ever done it in the history of time, you can do it too. Right? That's how I look at life. I'm definitely a realist in that aspect, but you've gotta show up, you've gotta execute, you've gotta go to the different city every weekend for two years. You have to be so sure about the possibility of an outcome that is in the direction that you want to go, that it's almost you have to like be ignorant to the realities of the world. How do you define success in your life? And how do you look at this whole adventure that you're going on in towards building and becoming the better person that you're meant to be?

Dylan: So the formula for success, happiness, and everything you want in life is simple, cuz we already know, you wanna be healthy, you know what you gotta do, and if for whatever reason you don't have the information, it's extremely easy to get the information today. A quick YouTube search can find it. So, we know as humans, instinctually we know. So we ask ourself, I ask myself from one to 10, where's my life at right now? Not how happy I am, how wealthy I am, it's if I were to assess my life right now, one to 10, where is it at? Let's say it's a seven. Okay, what would make it a 10? How could we increase it? And whatever that is, I just do more of that. The thing is, I'm probably never going to get to a 10, but if I die pursuing or in the path of the highest number and striving towards it, at every time in my life, I'm not gonna die with regrets ‘cuz I know that my life is from the moment I put attention on it and realized that this was important, then I started to move towards that.

For me, if I were to die tomorrow, I would not have regrets. And while there's things that I probably should, or shouldn't have done or things I could change, the thing is I'm in pursuit of that 10 every single day. And so, for me, as my life is right now with the journey and the life I've had and the trauma and the hardships I've gone through, I'm currently at the highest level I could be since I started to know that this existed. Does that make sense? So it's that pursuit of the 10 and putting focus and attention on it, that has made my life exciting and that's what I'm focused on.

Michael: Do you feel like you're at a seven now? You mentioned seven, like does that feel congruent or is that an arbitrary number?

Dylan: It was an arbitrary number, but it is also real to my situation because look, there's been life throws, curve balls for me right now, what's the thing that would make it a 10 is if I was in peak physical condition. If I was in peak physical condition today, I would consider my life a 10. But I'm not, I'm in the worst shape I've been in. So, what are the acting steps I'm making to change it? I've been putting things in place to change it and to get in peak physical condition, and I will be in peak, I am moving towards a peak physical condition. But the thing is now when I have a six pack and super lean and look great in great shape, and then I say from one to 10, where's my life at? I might be still at a seven, but it'll be something else.

Michael: I have this concept that I build everything in my life around called the 37-year plan. And effectively what this means is no matter where I'm at in my life, I always say to myself, well, I'm still 37 years away, from whatever it's, and the reason that I do, that's a mind trick that I play on myself because I f*cking love instant gratification, right? The dopamine hit the serotonin of the instant gratification what is better than that? Like as humans, we are programmed into always feeding into the things that make us feel good. And I started having these thoughts ‘cuz as I've mentioned on the show before, but I don't know if I've ever told you at one point in my life, just ‘cuz we're talking about physical condition. I was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep and I realized like, health is everything like it's everything because I had successful businesses, but like just operating them it was like insane to me that writing an email would destroy me emotionally for the whole day. Right. And then I started getting into the work and I started learning, I started healing and I realized like that was a part of it, like taking care of your physical health. So, I was looking at measuring what it would be like to be in the best physical condition of my life and that was not a 37 year, it wasn't like it'll be 37 years from now, but I was like, if it takes me 37 years to get there, at least I'm on the path every day. And I think you really nailed it just now in saying that because it's like, can you show up every day? Can you put in the work every day? Can you move towards that goal? And then also I think a lot of it too, and you see this in business a lot, where people fell at business again and again and again and again. And it's just sometimes dude, it just comes down to maybe you just don't want it and you gotta be honest with yourself. I think that those tens that people are seeking are never going to happen because they're lying to themselves every day about whether or not they're willing to put in the f*cking work. And if you're not willing to put in the work, you won't get the 10. And look, can you be okay with a life out of five? I don't think that's the worst thing in the world, right? If you can show up and live life and we live in this weird society now where like everyone's an entrepreneur and I'm like, okay, let's talk about that. Have you put it all on the line? No. When you're probably not an entrepreneur. And that's okay ‘cuz you can be a great entrepreneur and you can be an awesome employee with a killer side hustle. But to step into this thing over here, it may not be the seven for you. And I think people have to understand that. How do you reconcile with yourself the things in life that you think you want, that you actually discover that you don't?

Dylan: The thing about that is like, everything is about the process of achieving that. I have two vision boards, I have a meditation room in my house and in it right next to, I have a meditation chair next to sauna and on the wall of the sauna, I have two big vision boards posted up there. And I created these one eight years ago and another one, three years ago and I've kept them and I look at them every day and I've got a white Audi R eight with the black side panels and that was like, as a kid, like that somehow became my car, my goal car, and I've got other stuff on there too. But the thing is, the moment that became attainable for me, I now have a car that's more expensive than that car, but no one would know because it became for me, my priority shifted. I now wanted a Tesla model X plaid because I'm a bit of a nerd and I think the plaid's cool, it's got six seats, so I can chauffer my friends around when they're in town and we can go out together and do cool stuff. It's fast, so I can kind of like, you know, scare them a little bit when I go off the line. But more importantly, it was a tax write off cuz it was over 6,000 pounds, that's like all of a sudden,like, you can get what want you wanted, but then like the priorities change and I wanted something else. I think if we look at life as a journey where we're constantly evolving and doing new stuff, it becomes like, cool and then we accept where we're at because everyone I talk to who has had the cars, had the houses, the babes, the beach they say gets old after a while. So rather than like going and doing that stuff, why don't I just build the life I really want, which is love, connection, great relationships, and great people. I have over a hundred employees now like I'm creating a lifestyle for a hundred people, it's much cooler to do that than to be flexing a Lamborghini every day I show up to work.

Michael: Yeah, it truly is. And like my dream car on my vision board, Audi R8, spider Limited. I had a conversation with my business partner the other day, we had breakfast and I told him what I wanted and he goes, well, why don't you get it? And I said, because every single time I buy something like that, there's always gonna be the next thing that I want, I know that about myself. And so, I have this weird feeling, man, like my vision board will always have that car on it because I've learned discipline around not always giving myself the thing that I want, knowing that as soon as I get it, I'm gonna want the next thing. And I think that's been a really interesting reconciliation for me, just around stuff ‘because I don't know about you, but I've never bought anything that made me happy. And I think about the life that is in front of us and so much of it is truly about clarity. You're in the midst of your hero's journey, you're chasing these omens, you're having your vision quest, right? If someone is listening right now and they're like, man, I get it, I'm stuck in my town. I feel like I want to go and pursue this thing, but I'm scared and my mom and my dad in my community, they're telling me I need to be this person, but I want to be that person. What advice would you give them? Where do they begin?

Dylan: Well, you already began. See, most people aren't feeling that way, 78% of people per your stats, you know, let's fact check this, 78% of people stay where within 10 miles of where they grew up. And I would bet you the majority of those people haven't even considered anything else. The fact that someone's feeling that spark within them, I want to change, you already began. Now, momentum is a very amazing thing, once you take a one step, the second step is easier than the first, the third step is easier and heck, the hardest part of gonna the gym is putting the shoes on, right? So, just take that step, first step. And I don't think it's all or nothing type of deal, I don't think this is the kind of situation where you go guns a blazing, I think it's the kind of thing you built start the side hustle, but don't start it tomorrow like start it right now, like start literally like, like end this podcast, jump off and then go start it and do whatever it is. Buy the domain and then tomorrow take this next step, and then every day take one step toward the goal you want to have. And then in a thousand steps from now, a thousand days, let's talk and tell me how your lives at.

Michael:  In my meditation this morning, I was thinking about focused energy in accomplishing tasks. And I thought to myself, if I can create uninterrupted time at a deeper level because right now, if you look at my calendar, 5:00 AM to noon is blocked off. You can't get on my calendar for anything, it's impossible, that's me time. I won't take meetings. I won't coach people. I won't even be on a podcast. Right. And the reason that I did that, as I realized I need this massive burst of focused energy to go and create the dream. And I feel that a lot of people don't recognize the importance of just blocking that calendar to do the one thing. Dude, all the time, people ask me, how do you write a book? I'm like, you sit down and you write a book. None of this is rocket science. I think most of it is fear that keeps people stuck. I think most of it is the thought of rejection. I think a lot of it is, well, if I become the person that I'm capable of being, I'm going to lose something. What has that been like for you?

Dylan: There's a chart you can Google, it's the emotional frequency and vibration chart. And it shows the vibration of different emotions, right? Shame, guilt, like that's at the bottom, fear and then joy, love, divinity at the top. And what we need to do is we need to find ways to get in the higher-level emotions more often because it's more open, you're vibrating more faster, and you're able to accomplish things in just a, like a more surreal, quicker, like expedited way. And so, what I do is if I'm not where I want to be or I know there's a whole bunch of stuff I have to do, I'm just gonna look and take a quick assessment. Okay? What are the things in my life that are like sucking me and pulling me down to the lower emotions? For a lot of men, it's porn, drugs, woman, overindulgent in food. For me, one of the things that was causing the most amount of anxiety was having my email notifications on two and a half months ago, I just turned off all my email notifications, like literally just on my phone. Literally said, I'm not gonna see a single email that comes through. And the only emails I'd see were the ones when I happened to log into my computer and I'd see like the first 10 that were there in the day, and I'd get back to them and it felt amazing. Dude, the last two months I've been excited about life to be able to go out and create, I've been putting in 18-hour days with not no fear, no issues. But what happens is when I'm feeling good about my life and my day, I got notifications on, I pull up my phone to check the time or whatever, and I see angry client or whatever it is, right? Or someone needing my help right now, or whatever the email is, all of a sudden everything goes away and I go down to a lower level or emotional frequency. And then I'm able to create at a lower level. So, now the problem in that case is what happens is all of sudden balls start getting dropped ‘cuz I'm not doing my emails. So, I ended up creating another system where I brought on someone specifically who goes and they actually filter all the emails and then they pack 'em into nice little folders for me. So, every morning, I get on a call with her at 9:00 AM for 30 minutes and she just tells me like, we review them and I give her the answers I don't have to know the context, I just give her the answers I need and emails are cleared, so, that's the process.

Michael: Yeah, there's a solution. I think that there is an analytical solution to every problem that we face. And actually, I don't have email notifications on my phone in fact, my phone almost exclusively stays and do not disturb. I have to add people to the list so that they can get through because I've realized, I always tell people, do two things. One, read Dopamine Nation a book by Anna Lembke. She's been on this show. She's an incredible human being who dove into the science and research of addiction and then watch the Social Dilemma, the documentary on Netflix about algorithms and our social media consumption. And when I read that book, I interviewed Anna and I watched that documentary I was like, nope to all of this. In fact, what's interesting, like from a business perspective, because I made the decision to only post and leave social media, I get murdered in the algorithms, right? I don't get 10,000 likes like I used to, I don't get 80 followers a day, like whatever. And I'm like, I don't give a f*ck cuz I used to get trapped in it, right? As we all do. And so, I often look at the trappings of our own demise through our own hands and I ask myself a really simple question, does this make my life better or worse? And it's in that pause, which I assume you had some moment of pause in these emails recognizing the anxiety of it. I have so many unresponded to emails, like at this point I'm like, whatever but I looked at it and I said, this is actually a mental health thing for me because sometimes, even though I do my absolute best to always show up, always respond, always connect to people, and sometimes I'm not texting you back till 11 o'clock at night, that's just the nature of how it may be. I've made a declaration in my personal life, like, I'm going to put myself first. I'm going to not respond, even though it's a client and there is multiple five figures, or they're this or they're that. I go, actually, no, no, no. Your needs are not ahead of mine. Is that something that's you found to be true for you?

Dylan: Yeah, but I think as a business person, and like this thing of like, the customer is always right, like there's this service mindset. Let me serve. But at a certain point, like I can't serve people how I have to and how I need to and how I want to unless I'm serving myself first, and it’s that selfish mindset. And to be honest, I was like, dude, if someone really needs me, if this is really important, it'll get to me somehow, but I'm just stressing myself out over stuff, it's like, let's say it's an invoice and let's say like it's a thousand dollars invoice, and worst-case scenario, the guy adds it, doubles it every month.

I don't pay it. Well, if it goes over six months, 12 months, like that's 12 grand, whatever. But if just by not having to stress about like all these things coming in, I'll probably produce more than 12 grand with that time and the mental clarity I had. So there's a tradeoff there, and then eventually you gotta create the system to fix it, which I've now been able to do, which I don't have to worry about that anymore. But it's just like, Dave Ramsey he's like the financial guy. He's a financial thing. It's like, one of the things was pay yourself first, right? And you want to take out money and actually put it into your savings and that's like the financial thing. But people know to like, let's save money, let's pay ourself first when it comes to finances. But why don't we do that with our time and our emotions? And with you, what you're doing is you're paying yourself first every day. You got six hours every day, five, six hours that you're putting and paying yourself first. You know, I do the same thing when I get up in the morning. I meditate, I read, I hit the gym, and in most cases, I don't turn my phone on until I don't take it off airplane mode until driving to the gym ‘cuz I don't wanna see any of that. This is my time.

Michael: How do you pay yourself first emotionally?

Dylan: I don't overthink things at all. I think one of the big things that causes people a lot of pain is they sit and stir over things, it's like something happened, you know, someone said something to me. There is room for processing it to understand it but the overthinking of stuff, I think just causes negatives like when has anyone ever thought about something by themself in their bedroom and it made themself feel better sitting there for six hours just thinking about it. You just start to, all these doubt in the fear comes in, it's like, did that person what? Like all these things, dude. For me it's like it comes in, it's out, it's gone. And if I have to deal with it from like a physical aspect of like, I have to take an action step to fix something, I'll note it and here's step one, step two, step three parked and then like when the time comes to deal with it, I'll come back. Here's the action plan. Okay, cool. But I'm not like, I got a lot of stuff to do. I don't have time to overthink stuff. You know, the people, I'm sure you get this, someone texts you, like, especially old friends, this is very common and you don't text back cuz you're busy and it's lost or whatever. Three, four days later, they follow up, whatever gets lost again. A week later they send you some text like, dude, you change bro. You don't care about me anymore. And it's like, for me, it's like, dude, I'm sorry, I'll get back to, sorry dude, don't if I ever ignore you, don't ever think that because I love you, I care about you deeply, I'm just, dude, I'm so busy, got a lot of things going on, I'll lose track. But I'm not that guy. If you don't respond to me, dude, you don't respond to me for six months. We got a mutual friend, a bodybuilder guy, dude, you know, I'll text this guy and he'll text me back a week later, said, dude, the message was typed, I was about to hit send and then I got distracted. It's like, I don't care, like you don't have to explain yourself to me, cuz dude, I get it, we're busy. So, I would say just don't overthink stuff.

Michael: Yeah, and more so people are very busy. My friend group know if it's not on my calendar, it's not happening. And Brendon Burchard taught me this, I remember I went to long time ago, one of his courses, Brendon's really kind of the guy who set me on this trajectory long time ago. I bought one of his courses and it really started just, it planted the seed. It didn't change my life and I'll never say it did, but it planted the seed. And that's what I always think people need to do, plant the seed just get something in your brain, right that that makes you think differently. And he says, if you want to be successful, show me your calendar. And I've done as my best job I can humanly possible to make sure that the calendar is what dictates my life ‘cuz I can tell you right now, I can make more money, I can travel more, I can make more friends, I can lose all of it and start over again, but I cannot get more time. And I feel like if people change their relationship with time and death, they will be able to create in the word that you just used, momentum, and that's such a powerful word, because momentum, whether it's forward or backwards, will take you to where you are going. How do you think about momentum in your life? How do you apply it? What is its use case for you?

Dylan: So, I think in momentum, like music, so whatever kind of music, people like, music for me creates momentum and progress. So, for example, first thing when I wake up, I pop on either music or motivational talk because I gotta get like moving otherwise I might just stay in bed but I gotta get that movement, get going, play some music, get in the rhythm, go meditate, hit the whatever it is that you do. And then like in between gaps, like if you're eating lunch or something. So, momentum is, it can go both ways, right? You can have crazy forward momentum, crazy negative momentum. But the thing is, is all we gotta do is like find ways to create that forward momentum and keep it going. And so, for me, music and positive stuff is that backwards momentum? I know what that is. It's scrolling TikTok, it's scrolling Instagram, it's overindulgence in food, alcohol, pornography, like all these things. So, I know that, let me just do more of the positive stuff, yes, the negative stuff will seep its way into life that happens, especially when we're stressed out. But by stacking those things and then like slowly building on top of each itself, I get to this point where it's like there's no stopping or turning back and it's like so powerful, like where my level of momentum at is at right now, dude, I've been hit with some pretty big roadblocks, but I'm going through them because I got so almost momentum and anyone is capable of getting to that point.

Michael: Yeah, I think about that a lot. There's always gonna be roadblocks like the next thing is coming, like it's on its way. It might be happening right now. Like I think about this all the time. I will pick up my phone and one of the people who are able to get through the do not disturb has text me in its worst-case scenario, we gotta shut something down, we've gotta burn some documents, like whatever it might be, right? And I think about that and I'm like, okay, hold on a second, it actually doesn't matter. The roadblocks in our life, like if you really break them down into the nuance of what they are, they don't matter. Let me give you context ‘cuz I know people listening right now and if maybe you are like, what do you mean. You're gonna die. All of this doesn't matter. What matters is who you decided to become, the effort, the energy, the time spent, the growth, the development, the willingness to push forward, all of it. The worst thing that has ever happened to you has already happened. And if you can understand that, it gives you freedom, a word that you use that's in your value system, that's really important to you. Most people cannot attain freedom because they're fearful. And I just think about all of the things in my life where it's like, here is the boundary, this is the border, this is the brick wall, you know on the other side of that is what you're seeking, right? May maybe in context you believe it's what you're seeking. You don't know until you get to the other side, that's not a grasses greener thing, that's an explorative thing. And this is what I believe, that because you're going to die, it actually doesn't matter whether or not that thing turns out good or bad, what matters is you have the willingness to explore, that's freedom to me. And so, I wanted to circle back cause that word just has been in my head since we sat down and started this. How do you get to freedom?

Dylan: So freedom, I think is the choice of breaking free from the system. Actually, a years ago I started the podcast called The Mastery of Freedom. Me and my friend would sit and we would discuss topics about like, how do you become more free in your life? And I think freedom is one of the pinnacles of life especially in America, this is why I am really grateful for this country. Coming from Canada to here, it doesn't seem like much of a gap for most people looking in. For me, it was massive because it gave me the ability, the freedom to be able to do a lot more stuff. Dude, I wanna go to the beach on Florida, you know, one day and then I want to go up and snowboard and you know, like Tahoe and then you can do that in Canada, like that's just one example. So, freedom for me, which is a choice, it was like, here's the path that I don't want to do, it's the path everyone told me to do, it's the path society wants me to do, it's a safe path, but I never even considered that. As soon as I knew that there was another opportunity out there, I started pursuing it. When I was 16, I went to this leadership program in California and it was what opened the doors for me, it was my Brendon Bouchard moment. And you said Brendon Burchard, right? But yeah, it taught me core values, goal setting time, like all the stuff you need to succeed, that's not taught in school, I learned at this bootcamp, week-long bootcamp, and I talked to some guy and I was like, what do you do for work? He's like, crazy successful. He's like, I'm an entrepreneur. I was like, that's cool, like you just what? Like do what? And he explained it to me and it was so far outta my frame of reality that's what I want, this is what I want with my life. I didn't even know this existed. Dentistry, all this other stuff that I'd been taught and groomed to believe I never really connected with. So, given that this guy has this, I now know that this exists, how can I move towards it? So freedom for me, it was that moment that someone showed me that my favorite, the story of all time is, Plato's – Allegory of the cave. Do you know this one?

Michael: No. Tell me.

Dylan: So there's a group of prisoners. They're shackled on like the floor of like a concrete cave and behind them is a walkway where the guards of the prison are walking back and forth all day long, and then behind them is a fire. So, what the fire is doing is it's actually shooting onto the shadows of the prisoners and illuminating these shadows in front of the cave for these prisoners. So, this prisoner shackled, their version of reality, they've been there their whole entire life, is these shadows just walking on a cave wall, that's all they see. Now, one day, one of those guys, he breaks free and he goes out, he goes out and out the cave and out into the world and he goes, whoa, there's all this reality out here, there's way more stuff happening. And he goes back down and tries to tell the other guys like, this is actually what's out here and they don't believe him and they stay down there because that's their reality. So, this moment for me was I saw the truth, I saw that there was more out there, and then I went on this adventure and I chose to go out and go explore that world. The thing is, most people, 78% per your statistics will check huffing post for the stats, but they choose to stay shackled.

Michael: Choosing to stay shackled, that's true of careers, relationships, friendships, family, money, debt, success, failure. Like it is so fascinating to me, like this is like a choose your own adventure book, all of it is like, if you really think about it. You read The Hero's Journey; every great book is a hero's journey. Every great film is a hero's journey. And what people don't understand is that and this has been the moniker of this company for a long time, it's like you are the hero of your own story, but you have to be willing to like pick up the sword, to walk out into the great unknown and say, I'm willing to do battle for this thing that I'm called to, to follow the omens, to let the universe conspire in your favor to go against the grain, even though everyone and everything tells you you're wrong. And eventually on a long enough timeline, maybe it's 37 years, you can get to that seven or that 10, whatever that thing is that you're seeking. My friend, this has been an amazing conversation. Thank you very much for being here with me and sharing so much of your truth and who you are. Before I ask you my last question, tell everyone where they can find you?

Dylan: Instagram is best everything else gets filtered now, as I told you before, hitting me Instagram, I do see, it's just my full name at Dylan Vanas love to hear from whoever.

Michael: What does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Dylan: Dude, I was gonna ask you after the podcast, dude, like, what does the unbroken mean? I'm trying to understand this cause broken means, like there's something wrong with it. And unbroken you would first think like, okay, there's nothing wrong with it, but that's not true because you're almost unbreaking something you're putting it back together. It's this weird like dichotomy of like words that just don't make sense together, but are seemingly perfect. And so, I think I see it as that you're taking something that was broken and you're accepting that it was broken and then you're pulling it back.

Michael: Beautifully said, my friend. Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening. Please, if you wanna learn more information about Dylan, go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com we'll have the links in the show notes or you can learn more about him and what he does as well as please make sure that you leave a review and check us out on YouTube just search Think Unbroken Podcast. And remember, every time you share this episode with someone, you are making a change in ending generational trauma, helping people break through to become the hero of their own story.

And Until Next Time.

My Friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll See Ya.