It's my birthday and I'm so fucking grateful for all of the love. When I was a kid I remember hating birthday parties. It's hard to have friends when you are the outcast bedwetter who wears Goodwill shoes. Most kids never showed up when I gave them invitations. For a long time my birthday was the worst day of the year for me. Often it would harbor hatred towards the universe for being born into a family of violence and drugs. It was on my 25th birthday that I sat locked in a bathroom ready to kill myself.
What I know to be true is this isn't the way it has to be.
Life can be so beautiful and amazing. It can take your spirit and it can lift you up. Today as I celebrate my birthday it's with happiness and a luster for life that I've never experienced.
It can get better. I know it seems impossible and that the world is against you but if you do the work and you allow yourself to go to the dark place to work through whatever you need then on the other side you can find happiness. It may be fleeting and like everything it will come and go but allowing yourself to be in the moment is where you will find love.
I'm so happy and excited to be alive when it wasn't that long ago that I didn't think I'd see 33.
I love you and more importantly I love myself. Happy birthday me. Here's to making this the best year ever!
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