This is the longest video I've done in a while. Saturday was an amazing but super intense day. I've had trouble sleeping for my entire life. I think the last couple of months especially have been hard but I know the break is right around the corner. The major areas of trauma in my life like being molested and the time my step father beat my brothers and I in the kitchen for putting away wet dished happened at night. These are just a couple of examples amongst many. The sad truth is a lot of trauma happens to children when they are asleep. Though I am 20 plus years removed from those nights and I know that I am safe and protected and loved I still suffer from insomnia and sleep deprivation. The latter half of this video I dive into it as I lay in bed wide awake once again.
I have systems in place and am alway working on reprogramming my brain but even decades in recovery still takes frequent and laser focused work.
Day 4 started with me waking up to an intense panic attack and required multiple sessions of meditation throughout the day. That's the thing about ptsd. It doesn't give a fuck how much work you've done and that's why it's so important to have tools like meditation and breathing exercises in place to reset.
In a couple of weeks I'm going to be releasing those tools but until then...Be Unbroken.
