You Are Not Alone But No One Is Going To Knock On Your Door | Trauma Coach

What’s up, my friends! I hope that you're doing well.

Getting into this morning, getting in this conversation, getting into this day with you.

One of the things that I was thinking about today is this idea that so many people feel like they're alone. I got an email yesterday from someone and they were like, I cannot believe you responded to me. So first and foremost, let me tell you this. If you email me, michael@thinkunbroken.com, I will literally respond to you.

And so, the reason why I'm thinking about this is we often believe and feel like we are alone, like somehow someway, it's just us, it's just us against the world. And I've thought that way before, I've had that thought process before. I know many of you listening to this have had that thought process before. But the truth is that you're not alone. You're just not like, at the end of the day, no matter what, you are a part of something, you are part of a community, whether it's a community that you build, or the community that you're put into from your past, your background, from whatever it is that you come from.

Now, one of the things that I always try to teach my clients when we go into coaching, which I'm gonna teach you guys right now, is you have to think about the three C’s Community. Connection. Commitment.

Now community is one that when I think about the healing journey, when I think about coming into this process of learning, of growing, of changing, of transforming, of ultimately becoming unbroken. Community is to you, if you understand what I'm about to say, going to be one of the cornerstones for everything that's next. That's why we created Think Unbroken Academy. It's a free community. If you go to thinkunbrokenacademy.com, you can join it. That's why we have Unbroken Con coming up. If you go to unbrokencon.com, you can join it.

That's why we have the Think Unbroken podcast and if you go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com, you can join us. Right. And the reason why is because community is everything.

When I started this, I realized about 12 years ago, one of the things that I needed was to have a place to be a part of something, and most importantly, be a part of something that wasn't what I knew because we only get to where we are based on what we know. And if you are only at where you are today because of what you know, but you want to go somewhere further, then you have to know more things like that's a simplified version of it, right? I'm always thinking about reverse engineering the goal. I'm like, okay, if I want to heal trauma and be a part of a community, have people I can leverage and lean on, learn from experts and be able to come into a safe space, then what does that look like? And so, I reverse engineer that and I go, okay, step. Find that? Does it exist? Okay. No, it doesn't. So, when I actually started and I created Think Unbroken, it didn't exist like what I envisioned the world of healing trauma to look like wasn't there. And so, I said to myself, I'm gonna go and build it. Now initially in building it was like, I have to go and join group, men's group therapy, Gestalt therapy, childhood trauma informed therapy, EMDR, CBT, all the things, right? And I was like, Okay, cool. I'm gonna learn and then I'm gonna go and join other support groups ‘cuz I wanna learn. And at that point it was just me learning and then I thought to myself, I'm gonna take all these concepts and ideas that I've learned and I'm gonna start to integrate them into what at that point was not Think Unbroken, but just an idea.

And as I got deeper into building Think Unbroken, I said, Okay, wait a second. How do I take that idea? And I elaborated on it more. I build it more, and I created into something bigger. Okay, well what do I need to do? I need to create a place where people can come together. Now if you rewind five, almost six years ago now, it was in person stuff. So, I spoke in Bali, in Singapore and Malaysia and Kuala Lumpur, in London, in New York and L.A., Portland and Seattle and Denver, like I spoke everywhere, right? And then as it evolved, it was like, wait a second, we need a place where people can access this stuff all the time, that's where Think Unbroken Podcasts come together. And I was like, Okay, cool. If I go in and make a podcast and I put out content every single day for a year, maybe this will help people. Well now we've been so lucky and fortunate to have a show that's been top 10 in the world multiple times. I mean, I've had Tom Bilyeu, Lisa Bilyeu, John Lee Dumas, Anthony Trucks, Dr. Caroline Leaf, Judd Brewer, Jenna Kutcher, Amy Porterfield. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. And I was like, Okay, cool. So now how do I give that information to the audience and allow them to learn from people who've already done the thing they're trying to do? Well, we'll put out the podcast. We'll tell people about it and also please, if you have not reviewed the podcast, if you go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com, if you review it on iTunes, it would mean the world to me please because you get to play a role in helping people by reviewing that show.

And so, what happens is effectively, I'll give you the brief of it. When you leave a review, it bumps up the show in the rankings of the algorithm. So, it shows up in the listing so that other people have survived trauma, who have learned in the way that you have learned or need to learn in the way that you are learning through the show can access that information. And also, it's my birthday, so do it anyway, so just gotta thinkunbrokenpodcast.com, leave review seriously, it actually helps people, it helps. You could be the reason why somebody's life gets different.

Okay, so now I'm building the podcast, I'm building this thing, and I thought to myself, well, what do we need now? We need more community. We need more accessibility. We need more of what I had when I was going and sitting in physical rooms. But how do I do it at scale? Because ultimately the mission it's to end generational trauma in my lifetime through education. So, how do we do that in a way that touches people around the world? Well, we create, Think Unbroken Academy. It's a free platform. People come in, we've got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds almost, you know, of people who are in that community, who are showing up every day, who are a part of it, who are sharing their victories, their struggles, who are sharing what it's like to be able to grow, to change the hill, to transform, to become unbroken. Okay, cool. Now how do we go to another level? How do I bring in my friends, who are these incredible experts at what they do to talk to this community. Okay, cool. We're gonna create Unbroken Conference.

Now so we start building that. We create Think Unbroken Conference. It's unbrokencon.com. If you wanna register. It's December, so show up. It's absolutely free to watch and attend live. There's a VIP to keep the recordings and all that stuff, so it's all built in there.

Now here's what starts to happen. You start to look at the amalgamation of all these things, and you realize, this is where I'm going. I want you to pay attention. If the community that I want doesn't exist, I will build it. You have to understand this. I know this is a very long diatribe to the point, but I want you to understand this. You're not alone, but nobody is gonna come and knock on your door and be like, Hey, by the way, we have this community. Now you can go and seek it. Now, very often you can find it, but sometimes you can't. And that was my scenario. So, if I rewind 12 years ago, nobody was talking about this. Nobody was talking about child abuse; nobody was talking about people overcoming it as adults living their life, becoming the hero of their own story. And so, I effectively said, I am going to build the community that I want to build because the community that I want doesn't actually exist. No one came to knock on my door and say, create Think Unbroken. No one came and knocked on my door, said coach people, no one came and knocked on my door, even at the beginning and said, Hey, you should probably like, do something about your fucking crazy life, dude, and get, you know, get into healing, get into education, get into learning.

And so, if you're in this position in your life right now, and I know this. You hear this and I've coached people through this and they go, Yeah, well, I don't get it. Like, how do I find people? It's called the internet. Guys, it's called Google, use it. Join Think Unbroken Academy. Join Unbroken Con. Listen to the Think Unbroken Podcast. Become a part of this because the thing that will start to happen is you will find like either A – you will get the exact community and thing that you were seeking, or B – if you're like me, you may get inspired to go and create your own thing, which I fully and entirely encourage and I will support and wholeheartedly.

So, that's kind of the way that this works. There is a very simple mechanism for creating the life that you want to have, and it simply starts with reverse engineering, reverse engineering the goal. What do you want? Get massive clarity about it. Can you find it without having to build it? Yes. Then go and join that, be a part of it. Can you not know? Okay, cool. Go and build it and create it and make it what you want it to be. But you can't keep sitting here saying that you're alone. You can't keep sitting here and saying nobody gets it. You can't keep sitting here and being like, I'm struggling by myself in this dark corner, that's not true. It's just not true. Like at the end of the day, and I know people don't like to hear it, and I know someone's gonna message me and be like, hey, but you don't get my struggle. It's like, Yo, I get it. I get it. I was homeless as a kid. I was a drug addict at 12 years old. My mom kept my finger off my finger off. My parents beat the shit outta me. I had fucking all the learning disabilities that you can imagine. I struggled with massive debt and weight issues and drug abuse issues and all of the things that you can imagine. So, I get it. And the only thing I'm trying to tell you here is that I'm just trying to help you understand how I did it. It may not work for you, and that's okay, but at least if you can take some of this and apply it in your life, even in the most simplest frame of recognizing and understanding that you're not by yourself, that gives you a huge one up and the ability to continue to move forward in your life in a way that is not only practical, but is life affirming because to sit here and to be like, I'm by myself and I'm alone. You have to take some responsibility for that and understand that you are not putting yourself into a position to have community, to not be alone, to find the thing like if I were alone, I'll tell you right now, if I were by myself completely miserable back where I was 12 years ago, I would do the same thing that I did. I would go and find a therapist. I would go and find a coach. I would go and volunteer. I would go and be of service. I would go to meetups. I would go to AA. I would go to support groups. I would go and do all the things to be around other people so that I didn't have to be alone. But you have to be willing to do that. You have to be willing to face the fact that you feel shame and guilt, that you feel like you're not supposed to do this, that you feel hurt. Because guess what? When you acknowledge those feelings, you can work through them. You cannot just always be complaining. You cannot always just be like my life fucking sucks because I'm telling you, when I was like that and my life did suck, I acted like it. I existed like it. My life was a reflection of the narrative going through my head. And so, the greatest thing that I can offer you if I can give you anything today is to change the narrative that you have about being alone and about suffering through these things without support and put yourself in a position to go and find it. Right? Think Unbroken Academy. Think Unbroken Conference, Think Unbroken Podcast, the courses, the things we've put together, give you the ability to be a part of something. And if not there, then go and find it somewhere else. And if you can't find it somewhere else, build it and create it. But you cannot sit here in your life and go, Ah, I am alone woe is me because that is the ultimate fixed mindset, that is where you are going to stay stuck. Most people stay stuck in that space because they're terrified of the idea that they're allowed to be a part of something and you gotta let that go, my friend, because I believe that we all deserve to be a part of community. I believe that we all deserve to be a part of something bigger than us, that we all deserve to be a part of something that is fulfilling for us. And no one can take that from you except you. You have to remember, you're not alone, but nobody's coming to knock on your door.

Do me a favor, if you appreciated this, if it's brought value to your life in any way, leaving a review on iTunes or Spotify helps other people find this information. And so, if there is, out of the 500 episodes we put out into the world, if you've ever one time got value of it. Please go and leave a review. Also, like I said, my birthday is Friday and mean the world to me as a gift if you leave a review for the show, just go to iTunes or Spotify. Search Think Unbroken Podcast. Hit the five stars. If you think it sucks, hit the one star. That's fine too. I just want to know the truth. But ultimately, it's about being of service for each other, for the community if you're not in Think Unbroken Academy, there's like 500 people who are in there, it's absolutely amazing. Come and join us. Come and be a part of it. You're not alone. You don't have to go through this by yourself, but I ain't coming to knock on your door. You gotta come and join. You gotta come and be a part of this.

Alright, my friends.

Have an amazing day.

And Be Unbroken.

I'll see you.