You Should Be Triggered
In this episode, I challenge the popular notion of avoiding triggers, sharing my personal journey of how embracing discomfort catalyzed my own profound growth. I argue that confronting our deepest fears... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/you-should-be-triggered/
In this episode, I challenge the popular notion of avoiding triggers, sharing my personal journey of how embracing discomfort catalyzed my own profound growth. I argue that confronting our deepest fears and insecurities, rather than running from them, is the key to breaking free from destructive patterns and achieving lasting change. I'll reveal why avoiding triggers may be stunting your development, how facing uncomfortable truths led to my own breakthrough moments, and strategies I've used to transform triggering experiences into opportunities for healing. Drawing from my life experiences and the lessons I've learned, I'll equip you with practical tools to push beyond your comfort zone, overcome past traumas, and unlock your full potential. If you're ready to do the hard work of personal transformation, this episode is for you.
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I think one of the big mistakes that we make as individuals on this journey is that we try to avoid being triggered. We do everything in our power to hide away from the discomfort of having to face the reality that we live in. When you add on the reality of society that we live in today, which is overly optimized for keeping you safe through political correctness, you end up in this place where a lot of hard conversations aren't being had and a lot of opportunity for growth isn't occurring. Now, However you lean politically, that's up to you. That's not the point of this. And this isn't a political conversation, but what I am saying is that so many people could benefit tremendously from actually being triggered a little more often. Life, whether we like it or not is exceedingly difficult. Living is hard, but what is more difficult than living in the day to day is not facing the reality of the life that we've created. One of the things, and I've shared this publicly obviously, but having grown up and being molested as a child really fucked me up that led down this path, of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, doing so many different sexual things that like I don't even have enough time to get into them. And I took myself down this path of trying to satiate the pain of the discomfort of sitting in the hurt by doing everything to avoid the emotional response to the moments and times in which I was the most triggered. And that doesn't help you.
Somebody listening in this right now, and it maybe you, is doing everything in their power to avoid the discomfort of their reality. They're not facing the truth about their weight, about their dietary choices, about their debt, about their relationships, about everything. And the moment that someone brings it up, maybe you're making excuses, or you're saying, this is just the way that I am. Or worse, you're continuing the same behavioral patterns and you're ignoring the truth. Those are all coping mechanisms, avoiding dealing with the thing that is in front of you that is making your life a disaster, hiding and running from triggers and the things that are difficult and dark and hard is actually making your life vastly worse than it should be. One of the things that I genuinely love as a coach is when my clients say I'm triggered, I always respond with good because that is where you grow being triggered is going to allow you to sit in truth. Because it's going to require you to ask yourself some very hard questions. Why do I feel this way? How did I arrive here? What is happening in my external? What is in my control? What did I do? What can I not control? What did other people do? Being triggered is actually a gift. Because if you're not having moments of that, and look, on a long enough timeline, those things go away. And they're not as intense. But Over time, depending on what your life looks like, more triggers are bound to come. You're bound to be upset. You're bound to be hurt. Guess what? Not everybody's gaslighting you. I know that's a hard pill for people to swallow. Not everybody's a fucking narcissist. They're just not. Not everyone's out to get you. Sometimes you're just fucking up. Sometimes you just suck. Sometimes you are just not being a good person. And this is self-reflective, like I look at my life and I go, the thing that pissed me off the most before I dove deeper into this journey were the moments in which people would call me out for my bullshit. And I would be like, Nope, and ignore that. Keep doing what I'm doing. And the idea that your life could be different when you continue to do the same thing you're doing is nonsensical. And that's why so many people are trapped. That's why so many people are stuck. Because they've allowed themselves to stay in a safe, coddled environment. And it's not that we don't need safe spaces like therapy and coaching and groups and conferences and events where we can come together. And have this discourse and vulnerable conversation. AA, for example, phenomenal. Goddamn, if you're stuck and your life is a fucking nightmare and you're dealing with addiction issues, pop into AA meeting, you'd be shocked at what people share, but you can't keep yourself safe from reality. That concept, that idea is asinine in so many ways. And those coping mechanisms that we move towards to avoid our triggers, they're keeping us from truly doing the work. I had somebody come into a program that I had recently. And the thing that they said to me when they decided to leave after a short period of time is that they said, I don't want to continue to do the group because I'm uncomfortable talking in public. And I thought to myself, you should be and I told them the same thing and I told them that they should be uncomfortable and deal with it and step through it because if they don't, then they're going to be a quitter. And the truth is, if you quit on yourself, you're just never going to get the life that you want to have. And I know that goes against a lot of the current day practical wisdom that wants us to coddle ourselves and hide, and be small, and go and take the bubble bath instead of doing the hard work. And I know that people can hear that and go, That's so harsh, why do you want people to be triggered? Because I want you to grow. Being triggered is a great sign that you're about to have a breakthrough. Good. Good. I wish I could stress this more. We have got to stop running. You've got to stop running. The more that you run, the fucking harder this gets. And if you think about this for a moment, If you attempting to create your life has brought you to where you are, and one of the things that you are doing is avoiding the hardest elements of life, how are you ever going to free yourself? That's the question we have to ask. How are you ever going to break through if you're hiding from the reality of who you are? And I think that there's a way to do this. Now I think one of the important elements of it is like you really need someone who has your back. If you're going to go walk through the, the dragon's lair, you need a coach like me. You need a therapist. You need to join the group, coaching programs we offer, right? But ultimately what you're going to get on the backside of dealing with the things that suck the most, it's freedom. Because you imagine this for a second, right? Every time you get triggered, you break down, you regress, you run, you go to the things that you use to satiate and solve the pain and it happens again and again a week later, a month later, a year later, a decade later, a lifetime later. And nothing's different. That's what happens when you don't deal with it. The other side of it is that it starts to dissipate. Every single time you get triggered, it's less and less when you step into dealing with it. You stand in front of that fucking dragon and you say, bring it on, bitch. And in the beginning, it's very hard. The first week's impossible. The second week, the fourth week, the third month, the year, the two years, the 10 years of lifetime, but by the time you get to the end. And the end is going to vary in time because it's going to be different for everything and everyone. But on a long enough timeline, the more that you deal with this shit, the sooner it goes away. Imagine you're probably listening to this right now and you know that there's something that triggers you tremendously. Okay, great. Imagine that if you stopped avoiding it and stepped into it and worked through it, you What your life would be like.
And I'm going to ask you a very simple question. What are you willing to do to have the life that you want to have?
Thank you for listening, my friends. As a reminder, I just recently launched mensmonday.com Gentlemen, specifically you. If you're struggling, You need more help support guidance in your healing journey. Go to men's monday. com I've written a series of 100 letters and created 100 videos to help you in your journey. They're absolutely free. mensmonday.com. Again, my friends, thank you for being here.
And Until Next Time
Be Unbroken.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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