E174: You're going to fuck up but you're not a fuck up
Get a Paperback copy of Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma for FREE at: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/
Learn more about Coaching Program: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/
Learn more about at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/
Get a Paperback copy of Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma for FREE at: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/
Learn more about Coaching Program: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/
Learn more about at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/
Support the Podcast: Become a listed sponsor!
Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken
Learn more about coaching at https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com
Get your FREE copy of my #1 Best-Selling Book Think Unbroken: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/
Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with you with another episode and today I want to talk to you about something really important and that is that you are going to fuck up, it's true, you're going to fuck up, it's gonna happen. Like I think about this all the time and we hold ourselves to such extreme perfection ideas that it's destroying our life. And the truth is like if you want to continue to move forward in your life, if you want to grow, if you want to change, if you want to heal, if you want to become the best version of yourself, the most important thing that you can do is acknowledge that you're going to make mistakes, and you've heard me talk about this before.
Failure is data, making mistakes is data. You can use that information to understand what to do moving forward to make sure that you're in alignment with the life that you want to have. Now that said in those moments because I promise you it's going to happen.
The most important thing that you can do is (A) bring attention and meaning to it like look at them mistake you made, why did you fuck up? Why did you just do the thing that you did? Was it a repeat of a behavior pattern that you still have, not broken that's been ingrained in you for 20 years? Was it that you weren't in alignment with your values, your wants, needs or interest? Where you triggered were you in this position where life felt chaotic, and this was a self soothing thing that happened?
Like you have to ask yourself these questions because there's always a rhyme in a reason like you can't just be like, I made a mistake, it's not that easy like that to me is a scapegoat, that is the easy way out, that is the way out for people who don't want to create change in their life.
If you just look at your life and you go, oh, I made a mistake, it is what it is. The problem is, there's no accountability in that and I can assure you, you're going to make a mistake again that is the exact same and going to have the same result where you look at it and go, oh, well, it is what it is, I made a mistake.
You have to get super clear about understanding why what happened took place? Okay. I'm going to say that again; you have to get clear about why what happened took place? Because of causation and correlation am looking at the experiences that we had, there are is probably, there is a reason why what has happened has taken place. Now, once you acknowledge it, this is where it gets tricky, right?
And look, I will be the first one to say that I am always working through being better, growing, being different, being healed, living life more authentically, showing up as myself more and more every single day.
And it's a process and is not easy and even for myself an everyone that I know even my mentors, like people that I look up to that, coach me, that guide me, I know for certain, they also make mistakes.
Now, here's what's really fascinating about this. The first time you make a mistake, it's an accident. Maybe even the second or third, if you haven't brought awareness to it, but on a long enough time line, you have to realize that when you are fucking up, whatever that means for you, again, this is going to be different for everybody. Maybe it's not showing up, maybe it's lying, maybe it's eating the shitty food, like – I don't know what it is for you, but it's going to be something like in that eventually when you have brought awareness to it and your four, five, six, twelve times and doing that thing. Now, you're making a decision, you're making a choice about what it is that you are doing, and that's really dangerous because that means that you're letting yourself off the hook, that means that you're not stepping into your full potential, that means that when you're in that moment of making that misguided choice, that you're not trusting yourself, you're not believing in yourself, you're not following through on the promises that you've made yourself and that's dangerous, my friends.
And so I want you to understand something you're going to fuck up. It's inevitable, it's going to happen, it's probably happening right now. You're probably listening this like, holy shit. I can't believe I did the thing. I said I wasn't going to do; I've been there, I'll probably I will be there again, we all are but it's important that you bring awareness and acknowledgement to those mistakes because when you do two things happen, one now you have awareness that gives you the ability to circumvent it happening again and two your out of excuses because look you're going to have to show up for your life, told you this before, no one's coming to rescue, no one's coming to save you and getting in your own way when you understand that often, it's a biological response to stimulus, especially if you're triggered, that's built in our autonomic system, that's based on it happening because your body doesn't know what else to do can lead you to this place in which suddenly you're so dissociated that you're totally removed from reality.
Whenever I look at the course of let's call it, whenever I look at the course of the last five years and I measure these moments in time where I did something that was outside of character out of my values, out of my morals, it was against my wants, needs or interest, it was something and I felt bad about, it was a gigantic mistake, it was a huge, fuck up, whatever it is, I can guarantee you, I will promise you every single time that happened I was dissociated and I was not present because again like you have to understand the biological experience that you're having.
So if your body is triggered your mind, your brain is flooded with cortisol, you cannot make rational decisions. And so if you're on the fence about something that, you know, might be detrimental to your life and I don't mean that you're going to die but something like pretty fucked-up might happen, might ruin a relationship, lose a job, ruin a friendship, you know, whatever that thing might be, I don't have the list goes on and on and on maybe it's eating the cheese burger for some of you, right? Maybe it's that next drink.
I think the most important thing that you can do is just pause and breathe and recognize that you have to get back into the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest digest side of the nervous system so that you can get back into making a cognizant understanding of what's happening in real time.
And the best way to do that is to simply pause, close your eyes, breathe and meditate for a couple minutes, just without distraction get present with yourself. Because when you do that, even if it's 5 minutes before you step into that thing that you know is detrimental possibly detrimental to your life, the likelihood of you following through on the ill-fated decision I would argue is so exponentially smaller that you won't even contemplate actually doing the thing that you were about to do.
So recognize you're going to fuck up, it's okay, just follow the tools, get present, be in your body and when you are faced with that decision, you're going to make a difference.
So my friends, thank you so much for listening. Hope that you take care of yourself, know that you're going to fuck up, it's okay, just don't hold yourself to perfection, get present and recognize that at some point, you're making a choice.
And, of course.
Please like, comment, share.
Tell a friend, leave a review.
And Until Next Time.
My friends, Be Unbroken.
I'll see you.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
Listen On
Welcome to The Think Unbroken Podcast!
Here are some of my favorite recent guests!
A Warrior's Path to Overcoming PTSD | with Kelsi Sheren
In this powerful episode, Michael Unbroken interviews Kelsi Sheren, a Canadian combat veteran who served in Afghanistan. Kelsi shares her harrowing journey of struggling with PTSD, depression, and suicidal thoughts after witnessing... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/a-warriors-path-to-overcoming-ptsd-with-kelsi-sheren/
How to Face Fear and Achieve the Impossible | with James Lawrence
James shares the powerful mindset and resilience that enabled him to achieve these seemingly impossible challenges. See show notes below...
How to Find the Courage to Be Yourself | with Leila Hormozi
In this powerful episode, Michael Unbroken sits down with Leila Hormozi. Leila opens up about her traumatic childhood experiences of loneliness, neglect, and having an absentee mother struggling with addiction. She shares how a pivotal moment as a young girl …
Break Toxic Relationship Cycles | with Kel Cal
In this episode, special guest Kel Cal shares her personal journey of leaving an emotionally abusive marriage, overcoming childhood trauma, and reclaiming her power. Learn how... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/break-toxic-relationship-cycles-with-kel-cal/#shownotes
From Addict to Healer | with Brandon Novak
Michael Unbroken delves into addiction, redemption, and self-love with guest Brandon Novak.... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/from-addict-to-healer-with-brandon-novak/#show-notes
The Journey to Self-Love and Personal Growth | with David Shands
Welcome to the Think Unbroken Podcast, where Michael dives deep into insightful conversations with extraordinary individuals like David Shands.... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-journey-to-self-love-and-personal-growth-with-david-shands/#show-notes
How to Live with Survivors Guilt | with Cole Hatter
In this episode, I am joined by my guest Cole Hatter, a renowned thought leader and inspirational speaker... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/how-to-live-with-survivors-guilt-with-cole-hatter/#show-notes
Building Resilience and Unstoppable Confidence | with Stormy Wellingt…
In today's episode, I speak with Stormy Wellington a Spiritual Leader, Wellness Guru and Modern-Day Harriet Tubman... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/building-resilience-and-unstoppable-confidence-with-stormy-wellington/#show-notes
Healing from Trauma with Dr. Mariel Buqué: Expert Insights and Strate…
In this episode, I speak with Dr. Mariel Buqué, a holistic psychologist & an intergenerational trauma expert. Join us as she shares her insights and strategies for healing from traumatic experiences and building resilience... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/healing-from-trauma-with-dr-mariel-buque-expert-insights-and-strategies/#show-notes
E325: Cleaning your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf | Mental Healt…
In this episode, we have an amazing guest – Doctor Caroline Leaf, who has played a massive role in my personal healing journey over the years, someone that has been a voice that has helped me get to where I …
E369: Dr. Jud Brewer - end ANXIETY and WORRY today! | CPTSD and Traum…
What if I told you that anxiety and worry were emotional, behavioral habits that you can end through a simple three-step process. Jud Brewer. AKA Dr. Jud is a New York Times bestselling author and thought leader in the field …
E318: How to be happy and manifest the life you want with David Meltz…
In this episode, I speak with one of my great friends David Meltzer. David has spent the last vast majority of his life on a mission to help over one billion people be happy. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e318-how-to-be-happy-and-manifest-the-life-you-want-with-david-meltzer-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
E157: Discovering who you are through fear with Dave Hollis | CPTSD a…
In this episode, I sit with my friend Dave Hollis and we talk about his journey to where he is today, you know, it's a really fascinating conversation and a story about not only facing your fear but what it …
E130 The Theory of Impact with Tom Bilyeu | CPTSD and Trauma Healing …
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Tom Bilyeu. Tom is someone I consider to be both a peer and a mentor who tremendously helped me in my journey – singularly, I can point to him and three other …
E125 Creating Success in your Life with Damon Burton | CPTSD and Trau…
In this episode, I speak with one of my very close friends, Damon Burton. Damon is a Forbes contributor and an Amazon best-selling SEO book author that helps you show up higher on Google… without paying for ads. See show …
E106 Overcoming Addiction Through Yoga with Cole Chance
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Cole Chance. She is a yoga teacher, instructor, and educator who I've known for quite a long time, who actually played a pivotal role in my healing journey. We talk about her …
E109 The Power of Quitting with John Lee Dumas | CPTSD and Trauma Hea…
In this episode, we have a guest speaker, John Lee Dumas. He is an incredible human being, a former officer in the Army, entrepreneur, and host of the number one rated business podcast that I've had the privilege of being …
Letting Go of Shame and Embracing Self-Love with Andrea Ashley
In this powerful episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast, host Michael Unbroken sits down with Andrea Ashley, the host of the Adult Child Podcast, to discuss the journey of healing and self-love... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/letting-go-of-shame-and-embracing-self-love-with-andrea-ashley/#show-notes
Finding Home Within Yourself After Heartbreak with Najwa Zebian
In today's episode, I am joined by my guest – Najwa Zebian. Najwa is a bestselling author and activist who has written a powerful guide to building a home for your soul called "Welcome Home". Through their candid conversation... See …
Lesley Logan - Chasing Your Purpose | Trauma Healing Podcast
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: How do you chase your purpose? We talk about how to chase your purpose. Living with purpose is about remembering why you started and living in a way that …
E186: How I became Unbroken on 7 Hats | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Podc…
In this episode, I was recently on The Seven Hats Podcast, and I've never done this before, so this will be my first time on the show that I do anything like this. You're about to listen to an episode …
E131 Overcoming Trauma and Self-Sabotage with Iris McAlpin | CPTSD an…
In this episode, I sit down with my friend Iris McAlpin. Iris McAlpin is a certified trauma coach and NARM® Practitioner specializing in self-sabotage, eating disorder recovery, and complex trauma. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e131-overcoming-trauma-and-self-sabotage-with-iris-mcalpin-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes
Erica Garza - One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction | Tr…
Join us for FREE, Unbroken Conference at: Do women struggle with porn addiction? In this episode, I speak with Erica Garza the author of the memoir, Getting Off:... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/erica-garza-one-womans-journey-through-sex-and-porn-addiction-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes
Jonas Kaplan - How Neuroscience Impacts your Beliefs, Identity, and S…
Today, you'll learn more about the foundational understanding of identity and beliefs and why we operate the way we do and look at how... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/jonas-kaplan-how-neuroscience-impacts-your-beliefs-identity-and-self-narrative-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
Dr. Laura Berman - Is your past standing in the way of self-love? Her…
In today's episode, I'm very excited to share with you Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship expert who has helped thousands of people over the years. And thousands and thousands of people learn some of the most practical tools …
E50: Being a WARRIOR through childhood trauma with Anthony Trucks
In this episode, I speak with my friend, the unstoppable Anthony Trucks. Listen as we break down how to turn pain into triumph and why becoming the hero of your own story starts with making Shift Happen. Please Rate and …
Exploring the Myth of Normal Mental Health with Dr. Gabor Maté
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in the field of addiction, stress and childhood development. Dr. Maté discusses the myth of "normal" mental health and how our society's narrow definition of what is …
Vishen Lakhiani - Letting go of Pain and Finding Forgiveness | Mental…
In this episode, I speak with amazing guest Vishen Lakhiani. He is an entrepreneur, author, and activist on a mission to raise human... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/vishen-lakhiani-letting-go-of-pain-and-finding-forgiveness-mental-health-podcast/#show-notes
Transform Your Life: 10 Innovative Ideas with Gino Wickman
Are you looking to make a change in your life but don't know where to start? Today, I am joined by my friend Gino Wickman as he shares 10 innovative ideas to help you take control and transform your life... …
Navigating The Mental Health To Be a Multi-million Dollar Entrepreneu…
Today, we sit down with Amy Porterfield, an ex-corporate girl turned online marketing expert and CEO of a multi-million dollar business... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/navigating-the-mental-health-to-be-a-multi-million-dollar-entrepreneur-with-amy-porterfield/#show-notes
E203: How to Understand Addiction as a Trauma Survivor with Dr. Anna …
In this episode, I am excited to bring on Dr. Anna Lembke, one of the leading researchers and scientists on addiction on planet earth. She is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and Chief of the …
E113 Jordan Harbinger on ending struggle through action | CPTSD and T…
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Jordan Harbinger. Jordan is a former corporate lawyer who became a master podcaster. Jordan lays out some of the most incredible and practical tools about what it means to create a change …
Navigating Trauma and Mental Health with Lori Gottlieb, a Psychothera…
In this episode, I speak with Lori Gottlieb, a licensed psychotherapist, as she delves into the complexities of trauma healing and mental health... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/navigating-trauma-and-mental-health-with-lori-gottlieb-a-psychotherapists-perspective/#show-notes
The Wisdom of Rabbi Steven Z. Leder: Living a Meaningful Life and Fac…
Today, we sit down with Rabbi Steven Z. Leder, Senior Rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple, to discuss his journey to becoming a rabbi, and expert on death... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-wisdom-of-rabbi-steven-z-leder-living-a-meaningful-life-and-facing-the-reality-of-death/#show-notes
Dr. Uma Naidoo- Harvard Psychiatrist on how to use food and diet to h…
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: How do you start healing your body with food? In this episode, I speak with amazing guest, Dr. Uma Naidoo, who is a Nutritional Psychiatrist. We talk about recognizing …
E346: The MINDSET of A ZEN Navy SEAL with Mark Divine | Mental Health…
About seven years ago, I listened to today's guest, Mark Divine, on Tom Bilyeu's Inside Quest. And I was immediately captivated, like I could not actually put into words the thoughts going through my head. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e346-the-mindset-of-a-zen-navy-seal-with-mark-divine-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
E299: The Miracle Mindset with Tim Storey | CPTSD and Trauma Healing …
In this episode, the number one celebrity coach on planet earth is about to have a conversation with us, Unbroken Nation. I am to announce and share with you that you are about to listen to none other than the …
Overcoming Addiction and Healing Trauma with Mike Diamond
Have you been personally impacted by addiction and trauma and are looking for actionable techniques to make a positive difference? This episode is for you!... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/overcoming-addiction-and-healing-trauma-with-mike-diamond/#show-notes
How to Think Unbroken - AlignCon keynote with Michael Unbroken
Join us for an inspiring episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast featuring a keynote speech by Michael Unbroken, a remarkable individual who defied all odds to achieve success... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/how-to-think-unbroken-aligncon-keynote-with-michael-unbroken/#show-notes
Transform Failure Into Success With Love with Ryan Pineda
In this episode, we have an inspiring guest speaker, Ryan Pineda, joining us to share his incredible story of turning failure into success through the power of love... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/transform-failure-into-success-with-love-with-ryan-pineda/#show-notes
The Secret for Abundance Mindset | with Chance Welton
Are you ready to unlock the secret to living an abundant life?... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-secret-for-abundance-mindset-with-chance-welton/#show-notes
Unleashing Personal Growth and Transformation with Ryan Zofay
In this episode, I interview Ryan Zofay, a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to teaching personal development strategies... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/unleashing-personal-growth-and-transformation-with-ryan-zofay/#show-notes
Overcoming Trauma and Finding Hope: Personal Stories and Practical Ti…
Today, we delve into the journey of overcoming trauma and finding hope. I will share personal stories and offer practical tips for those who are struggling with their... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/watch-this-and-everything-will-change-trauma-healing-podcast/#show-notes
Natalie Dawson - Finding Confidence and Courage | Trauma Healing Coach
How Do You Build Confidence in Yourself? Confidence can be a tough thing to build up. But today, we will talk about how to put together some handy tips to help you and be the hero... See show notes at: …
E379: Moran Cerf - How LUCID dreaming can IMPACT mental health and tr…
On Today's Episode: I am joined by my guest Moran Cerf s a neuroscientist and business professor at the Kellogg School of Management and the neuroscience program at Northwestern University. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e379-moran-cerf-how-lucid-dreaming-can-impact-mental-health-and-trauma/#show-notes
E358: 10-No BS lessons to be the HERO of your life with Lisa Bilyeu |…
In this episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast, Lisa Bilyeu shares how she kickstarted herself out of the mundane to become one of the most influential voices in the personal development world-and how you too can gain the confidence to …
E344: If You Want To FIND YOUR PURPOSE In Life with Jenna Kutcher | T…
Change is inevitable; it's as imminent as the moon, the tide, and the seasonal Starbucks menu; it's a rite of passage for all of us. Transformation is power, energy, and momentum. It keeps us moving forward. See show notes at: …
E108 Who is Michael Unbroken
In this episode, I would love to share my back story with you. I'm going to include the preface to my book Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. This is a dive into my background, story, journey, and what's …
E242: Suicide, incest, vulnerability, and kindness with Paul Gilmarti…
In this episode, I'm very excited to be back with you with another episode, and today's guest is Paul Gilmartin, the host of Mental Illness Happy Hour. If you've ever had thoughts about suicide, this is an episode that you …